TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
I just wanted to say you really have inspired something from within me today. My recent post on my thread has a lot to do with you and your example. I remember feeling stronger before and now I can very much see how I've allowed my own negativity to push me backward, not forward. This has got to change.
Thank you for your continued warmth and grace. You should be extremely proud of yourself right now. I know I am...
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
dear sweet friend busting- you are simply amazing.
I know that you are having ALL the feelings altogether right now - sadness, grief, relief, bravery and determination.
Know that it's okay - you have transformed right in front of our eyes - and it is magical
when you are sad, and it feels difficult - come here and read about your strength and grace and remind yourself that you are just amazing
I wish I could give you a long hug in person right now, but I am doing that at the picnic. I also know that you have reached a new place where you are able to hug yourself.
much love and comfort and serenity to you, dear girl
zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
Jks , I just read your post, and I am so warmed to hear that you are on the positive path once again. I know you can do whatever it takes to be e best jks for you and your family. I truly believe in you.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Zig, what can I say... you have kept me at the picnic despite your own I internal struggles as of late. that in itself is bravery.
I know this is the place for me, no matter what my path, and I know this is where I need to be.
I am sure there is a lot more to deal with in the upcoming future and that I will turn to you and the others for support and guidance. I will stay on the blanket. I am determined to stay there and not walk away to deal. I will do it with you all...my friends.
I love you. ((( )))
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
i hope all is well. stbxh left this morning. i know i shouldnt be, but i feel sad. so do my kids. my son commented that we are alone again (he meant that we are without h again).
ok a little bit of a pityfest coming up......i miss having a h, i miss my family and i miss my h loving me. i miss sharing my life with someone, watching tv with someone, sharing life together, raising my children in a secure family home, and i hate that my children will grow up without seeing their father love their mother. without seeing how a family can grow together.
i know he made these decisions but i also hate the OW for taking my best friend, my h and a father away from his children and family.
ok, i needed to let that out. thanks for the vent.
still feel calm, but a little sad. i want to go back and read DR. i am starting to think about boundaries and what i should do upon our return home.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
i love that you ended the visit with a hug, what a beautiful testament to who you are, busting.. you are beauty and grace.
and it is perfectly fine to vent here at the picnic, it is safe, we understand.. we will help each other float through the sadness.. (there is definitely a body of water right there.) when we have trouble staying afloat and want to stop, we will support and guide each other, each of us knowing what it is like..
and then we will splash and laugh and remember that, like children, this moment can be enjoyed and that in the unknown that is our future, there is the excitement of that yet undiscovered.. we will be like children, brave and adventurous and full of hope..
that is an image of what this board feels like to me...and we all are in different places on different days and help each other through.
the strength you showed today will carry you through, busting. the compassion you showed today is something to always be proud of. you are heroic, you are amazing...
((((((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))))
Me(f): 51 W: 41 DP:8 M:3 T:10 "W not happy" 7/11 D final: 8/13
You are right, we will all help each other float and stay afloat.
Splashing like children, with adventure and excitement of what will happen next.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
and there are several turtles around us - forming a protective circle - well, they might be here for leftovers from breakfast, too!
i forgot to tell you guys - a couple of nights ago i had a dream about the picnic. it was a bit odd - one of us, it wasn't clear who, had decided to draw a picture of us at the picnic and brought it to show. it was a wide picture of a scene of about 40 people sitting and standing around (couldn't see the castle, grin) and there i was in the front standing there, a bit off to one side -
i was amazed in my dream that the one who drew it hadn't met any of us, but had drawn me pretty close to what i look like - and then i looked at the other figures in the drawing and "recognized" all of you (probably as i imagine you to look), saying to myself, oh look there's busting just like i thought she would look, there's ng, there's brit and labug and all the others. i was so happy that we had all been represented pretty closely to how we were in real life. the drawing was just in pencil, but very detailed.
everyone in the drawing looked sort of purposeful and going about there stuff - many were walking or standing, and very few were sitting - it seemed as if a lot were unconcerned about where they were - the vets? as if they didn't realize that they had stopped by the picnic,,,
as i said, a bit strange - but the overall feeling was just mild excitement that we were all in the picture
busting ((((((((((((( ))))))))))))) and one for ng too:)
zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
What a wonderful dream zig! I love the details and the feeling like everyone there was purposeful..like we are all sure of the paths we have chosen. :-)
NG and Zig, I was reading your posts about sadness and crying.
I like how you explained it about allowing the sadness as growth. More and more I have noticed over time, my grieving, while still deep, is shorter, minutes as opposed to hours as opposed to days....yesterday I had that. I told myself to accept the sadness. Accept it, don't get angry about it, don't wallow in it, just accept.
I feel so detached from H today. I actually had pleasant dreams for the first time that I can remember, and when I woke up I just thought, ok...this is how it is. I don't know if something has actually clicked or this is a moment of clarity but I am going to try and ride it out for the full day.
It's raining here, but the picnic is warm and bright.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
