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A Message from Michele
Active Topics | Active Posts | Unanswered Posts Past 24 hours | Past 48 hours | Past 7 days
Forum   Subject
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: I'm staying married by AnotherStander @ Yesterday at 02:49 AM

Awesome post sir! Should be mandatory reading for all newcomers That is how I always try to describe DBing, save yourself and hopefully the M will follow. But even if it doesn't, you still emerge victorious! Congrats on all your great progress in re
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: I'm staying married by TxHubby @ Yesterday at 02:48 AM

Originally Posted By: hoosjim I wont threadjack too much but I will offer this as it reinforces what you were posting and so may help others: I finally started some real detachment the past nearly two weeks, now, after I finally discovered the depth
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: I'm staying married by hoosjim @ Yesterday at 02:40 AM

Quote:It doesn't work. You have to plan AND execute your new life without her and make it a great one. Let her see it but not be a part of it. Show her that you're first prize and not a consolation prize. Be her plan A...or if not her, then someone e
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: I'm staying married by Coconut @ Yesterday at 02:37 AM

TXHubby, I'm curious as to what you two reuniting looks like. Are you two going to live separate and date for awhile, or are you getting back together in the Family house (if it wasn't sold), sleeping in same bed, etc.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Wife moved to parents on opposite coast #3 by Coconut @ Yesterday at 02:34 AM

Cali, I agree with Ginger, but I completely understand the feeling that sometimes you have to do what you have to do.. Unfortunately we all feel our situation is different, that we and our spouses R is different, that we know that something will hel
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: I'm staying married by Kaizen @ Yesterday at 02:27 AM

Originally Posted By: CadetOriginally Posted By: TxHubbyToo many of us try to fake our way through 180, GAL, detachment, etc. I did. It doesn't work. The only other thing I will add is that you can think of detachment like peeling an onion, it has
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: silliness and other important stuff by Dawn70 @ Yesterday at 02:24 AM

(Taps foot and watch impatiently) I'm waiting not so patiently for the rest of the story, though I'm beginning to wonder if we might not already suspect which direction it is headed...............
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: What I'd Say by Dawn70 @ Yesterday at 02:23 AM

The new week is upon us and fortunately, I'm well aware of what day it is this week and not trying to jump ahead like I did last week. LOL I had a nice, quiet weekend and had lunch Saturday with a couple of old friends who live in the same town I do,
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: I'm staying married by Cadet @ Yesterday at 02:23 AM

Originally Posted By: TxHubby If you're "faking" the detaching they can tell. She knows she still owns your heart, can hurt you, and that gives her power over you. You're co-dependent. Your happiness is tied too much to her. You have t
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: I'm staying married by dale165 @ Yesterday at 02:21 AM

This is the best thing I've read on the site!
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: like a drifter I was born to walk alone by Dawn70 @ Yesterday at 02:12 AM

I wanted to be sure and think about what I said before I responded, because I don't want it to come off negative and I could see where it would, but I feel compelled to say something. First and foremost, yay for you on the volleyball. Sounds like you
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: 180/Last resort with 3 kids in the house by dusty70 @ Yesterday at 02:10 AM

Need some help, WW sent me a message wanting to talk about what to do with custody,house,finances, talking to kids. I feel I need to set some boundaries here regarding playing nice and being amicable during and after the D process if that's where th
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: I'm staying married by TxHubby @ Yesterday at 02:05 AM

Originally Posted By: hoosjim Dang, TxHubby, that's amazing! Really happy for you! And all that you posted up there even made me tear up just a bit. (Im a bit a of a closet "sap", at least for a dude.) I know I have been reading your stuff
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: ILYBINILWY - OW - what to do next by Coconut @ Yesterday at 02:01 AM

Originally Posted By: SJW I will make sure that is the way it was taken when I get chance. No Don't!!! Go Dark, don't you dare ask him to make sure you didn't hurt his feelings... it's hard, but you need to start living like he is completely gon
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Betrayed Spouse - Round 2 by dale165 @ Yesterday at 01:56 AM

So the W came over today to get her CPR card because she said her work would no longer let her work without proof of it. Haven't seen her in 3 weeks. She started touching my arms, playing with me veins (She administers radiation via IV so she was a
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Advice appreciated by Tobias @ Yesterday at 01:50 AM

Last night we had our third session (yes a bit early but we are going on a trip, W is first going somewhere alone and later we meet up in a place she would love to do her PhD in). I have done a mediocre job in GAL (mostly due to the fact W doesn't d
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: I'm staying married by hoosjim @ Yesterday at 01:45 AM

Quote:In the end, I still love her and know that nobody is perfect and that I'd rather grow into an old geezer with her, caring for each other as our bodies eventually decay, and some day when either of us are on our death bed that the other's face w
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: I'm staying married by Btrow @ Yesterday at 01:38 AM

Happy for the both of you. Well done and good luck in your bright future.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: ILYBINILWY - OW - what to do next by TxHubby @ Yesterday at 01:28 AM

Anger is good at this point. It'll give you strength. Don't be a doormat. I don't want to be rude but you've been way too much of a doormat throughout this process. He knows you're a guarantee and he can play with your heart all he wants because
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: WW in A; Broke NC promise; Dropping Rope-3rd thred by hoosjim @ Yesterday at 01:25 AM

I mostly post about my wife and what she's up to because that is by far the dynamic i understand the least well. I am way more than comfortable with what I am doing in terms of GAL, 180s, etc., so I rarely post about that-- don't see much value added
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Trying to get it right by TxHubby @ Yesterday at 01:04 AM

Originally Posted By: SJWHey TX, sorry I'm hijacking on someone elses post but couldn't work out how to find yours. Could you take a look at mine if you get chance, I like your no BS approach and straight talking I forgot to add, let me do som
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: WW in A; Broke NC promise; Dropping Rope-3rd thred by Ginger1 @ Yesterday at 01:04 AM

TX Hubby makes a very good point. ALl you post about is what W is doing, MC, IC, her contact, no contact. HOOSJIM? Get it? Ok, that was corny. What have you been doing for yourself? Your GAL? I will tell you, I was the worst DB'er. My ex left me
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: I'm staying married by TxHubby @ Yesterday at 01:02 AM

Originally Posted By: CadetOriginally Posted By: TxHubby I had announced to some friends here that I was thinking about moving on and filing for D. So what made you decide to change your mind? You wrote this but was their something else? Quote:She
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: I'm staying married by Cadet @ Yesterday at 12:46 AM

Originally Posted By: TxHubby I had announced to some friends here that I was thinking about moving on and filing for D. So what made you decide to change your mind? You wrote this but was their something else? Quote:She has given me enough space t
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Wife moved to parents on opposite coast #3 by Ginger1 @ Yesterday at 12:43 AM

Oh my. You are doing this for YOU, not her. You are trying to control the situation. YOU think your wife needs this? No, YOU need it. She is going to see this as selfish controlling and manipulative rather than you being her knight in shining armou
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