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Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Carry On, My Wayward Son(of-a-beeeeaaaaach)!! by Georgiabelle @ Yesterday at 03:49 PM

^^^^^^^ Job said it much, much better than I did:-).
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: I need help please by Cadet @ Yesterday at 03:49 PM

Originally Posted By: cane I have written her about 30 letters since this happened. STOP doing this. Speak with Actions not words. Stop begging, pleading, and bargaining, those thing will not work. Keep posting here.
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Carry On, My Wayward Son(of-a-beeeeaaaaach)!! by job @ Yesterday at 03:43 PM

Shining, If he insists on going to counseling and he asks you to go along, then I would consider doing it...but you will need to really listen and sift through what he's saying in the session to have a better understanding of what is going thru his h
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Carry On, My Wayward Son(of-a-beeeeaaaaach)!! by Georgiabelle @ Yesterday at 03:42 PM

These are my thoughts on counseling. In order for counseling to be effective, one has to be honest and 2) be willing to address the issues. #1 is a huge freaking hurdle for so many because it's easier to play the victim and blame others versus lookin
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: 1 step forward, 1000 steps back - part 5 by mdu @ Yesterday at 03:40 PM

One thing I am trying to make sense of is the idea of 'slow and steady' yet many folks who have been successful really slammed down the hammer pretty rapidly and hard (lawyers, heading down the D path) and things turned in their favor quickly. I g
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Trying to stay patient- part 4 by Train @ Yesterday at 03:38 PM

Fwiw, Tar, our NC letter is in my thread titled, "Looking up at the mountain ahead," I believe. I'm not on my computer. If someone else is and can easily find it and link it here for Tar, that'd be great. But it was pretty standard. Very
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts (NA) Re: How to Proceed by Hoju @ Yesterday at 03:37 PM

I'm not an expert at this and really new myself but it sounds like your wife still loves you and wants to work things out. Have you considered talking to her about going to some marriage counselling?
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Trying to stay patient- part 4 by Train @ Yesterday at 03:36 PM

I am liking this new-and-improved Tarheel!!! THIS is a man who lovingly commands respect. Bravo. Stay strong!!
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Carry On, My Wayward Son(of-a-beeeeaaaaach)!! by Shining @ Yesterday at 03:34 PM

GB this would be our MC we were seeing for a few weeks when things were spiraling downward before February suicide attempt. We went three or four times after that. Then once after separation, before I knew this was MLC. MC continues to see me alon
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Maybell the VIIIth by Maybell @ Yesterday at 03:26 PM

There's a lot to think about here. Self-identifying as someone who could use AlAnon is kind of scary for me. I'm editing here... interesting how we invent stories about ourselves and it takes a crisis like this to make us see what of those stories i
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Mixed signals by PeterV2 @ Yesterday at 03:24 PM

Hi Rainy; Darned right it's an art form - staying detached. As for W asking you to stay for a coffee, I would suggest to take her up on her offer and be totally happy, talkative and at the same time casual. Absolutely no R talk and no talk bordering
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: barely holding on - 3 by u-turn @ Yesterday at 03:22 PM

Hey Dawgy - I hope you're doing better. Sometimes I am dubious of the rare hugs and acting nice. I second guess it. Is she doing it because she wants to show me something or just to keep me hanging on? Just giving me enough to keep me close. That is
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Blindsided and Lost, Part 2 by rppfl @ Yesterday at 03:22 PM

[/quote] Originally Posted By: raliced Have you and H had any financial discussions at all? Would he be open to some sort of written agreement? We have put together an informal separation agreement, not legally binding, but just between the two
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Trying to stay patient- part 4 by Starsky309 @ Yesterday at 03:17 PM

Originally Posted By: MaybellI wish I'd had this site a year ago. My H's "no contact" (ha!) letter was practically a soliloquy of "farewell my love" and included a reply in the same vein.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Blindsided and Lost, Part 2 by raliced @ Yesterday at 03:15 PM

I think that's a tough one. Most of us have probably gotten some legal advice along the way - but the different states have so many different ways of handling things. I see that Florida does not have "Legal Separations"- which might have be
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: afraid I have waited too long #4 by nit84 @ Yesterday at 03:12 PM

Ok, just throwing it out there. Should I ignore the fact that it is my W Birthday today? If I acknowledge it should it only be in the form of a verbal "Happy Birthday" alone or maybe a Card? If I don't see her should I just chalk it up t
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Trying to stay patient- part 4 by Maybell @ Yesterday at 03:12 PM

I wish I'd had this site a year ago. My H's "no contact" (ha!) letter was practically a soliloquy of "farewell my love" and included a reply in the same vein. No wonder I ended up where I am. Keep fighting the good fight, Tarhe
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Carry On, My Wayward Son(of-a-beeeeaaaaach)!! by job @ Yesterday at 03:11 PM

I agree w/Georgia, This is his journey and he may very well be thinking out loud and saying what he thinks you want to hear. If he's still deep in crisis, counseling as a couple may not be end up the way you would like it to go. Many times, they sa
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Trying to stay patient- part 4 by Tarheel @ Yesterday at 03:06 PM

I was thinking more in lines of another name for a donkey...
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: Wife Is Continuing Affair-When Do I Start LRT?-V by DBinSF @ Yesterday at 03:04 PM

Hi Dev, We are in totally different situations, but I as one hurting man to another, I just wanted to extend a big hug. I wish I had experience or advice to share, but I'm on the other side of the coin here. Hang in there, DB
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Blindsided and Lost, Part 2 by rppfl @ Yesterday at 03:03 PM

So I have a question that I really could use some input on, please. I consulted with a L today, who explained where I might come out financially, and suggested that I be the one to file sooner rather than later. I can't keep H from wasting marital
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Trying to stay patient- part 4 by Starsky309 @ Yesterday at 03:00 PM

What, adultery?
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: FINALLY SURFACING by sandi2 @ Yesterday at 02:59 PM

I actually see it as a positive step. I think it was a very well job done by both of you. The only comment I have to make is about the following statement: Quote:W wants to be friends. ”I know you told me last year that we can’t be friends but I d
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: Dealing with ongoing affair -which may now be over by PeterV2 @ Yesterday at 02:58 PM

I'm wondering if I should address each issue in a separate letter or consolidate them all in one longer one.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: More confused than ever by T0324 @ Yesterday at 02:56 PM

Thank you both I'm sure OM is a rebound who is fun, no drama, no attachments and I am EXTREMELY physically attracted to Sandi - you raise a great point. Why so suddenly did he change his tune. I have and continue to pose this question to H. He tol
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