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For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: She's returning home for in house separation! by Oxford1 @ 04/15/14 01:44 PM

I read a lot of DR. I have to read the Infidelity chapters npw
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: Figuring out how to behave by Starsky309 @ 04/15/14 01:41 PM

Originally Posted By: Starsky309 And then leave him be. Do NOT get into it with him, or tell him what you plan on doing. POST HERE FIRST. Originally Posted By: mduI am planning to leave him a letter, this is the best way for me to communicate wit
For Newcomers
I opened my briefcase this morning at work and W put a muffin in it for a snack. It's been almost a month since she's done that. I always used to call her and let her know how much I appreciated that she had thought of me. No call today. She woul
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: snap back to reality..... by Starsky309 @ 04/15/14 01:35 PM

I would've just responded "Don't worry about us, we'll be fine," and kept it at that. Try to keep your communications with him in the middle, "cordial/civil" range, and not either in the "BFF" or the "passive-aggre
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: I think I belong here #2 by bustingout @ 04/15/14 01:33 PM

I really like that analogy praying!
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Trouble letting go by KenF @ 04/15/14 01:32 PM

theres nothing wrong with your decision. many of us have come to it at one time or another. it took me quite a few months but i got there eventually. best of luck to you. regardless of which way you go, you can always come here for advice. we
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Have I travelled too far... Part 2 by pkp1852 @ 04/15/14 01:31 PM

Originally Posted By: paul19510you're doing great. keep moving. Sounds like you are finally becoming someone you want to be. and you see that its a choice to stay M or not. I think that's healthy. I am beginning to see that this is much more abo
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: She left - 3 by gogofo @ 04/15/14 01:28 PM

Originally Posted By: WonkaI am not sure if you are in the piecing phase as it seems that W is not yet at that place or mindset in reconciliation. More of a "wait and see" approach to ensure that your words and actions are congruent to her
Midlife Crisis
"Im sure it seems like I post alot about him..." its not that it "seems" that way. It IS that way. i'd say 95% of your posts are about him. from our perspective, there really is no MM - theres only this MM who acts and rea
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: With All My Hopes and Dreams by Nettles @ 04/15/14 01:24 PM

I've lost about 20 pounds too. BD might be the most effective weight loss program ever, but of course, it is also the most painful. I catch myself mind reading. It is hard to stop. Patience.
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: snap back to reality..... by twinmom @ 04/15/14 01:18 PM

I asked about $$ this morning (he was supposed to transfer from one account to another) he replied and then went into more detail than I wanted. I said I wasn't looking for a discussion just an answer. He told me to be careful driving as we got snow
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: She left - 3 by gogofo @ 04/15/14 01:17 PM

Originally Posted By: labugYour default is set to "I'm not good enough" or something close to that. Is that true in other areas of your life? Could explain some of that need for control comes from, what do you think. "I'm not good e
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: my wife left, but still lives with me #3/continued by tough spot @ 04/15/14 01:15 PM

Sigh. So my wife said she doesn't feel 50/50 custody is in best interest of the kids. I propose a sharing agreement that is basically 160 days out of a real 50/50 split which consists of 182 days and she responds with 'well, i don't hate that' and
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: How do you do THIS part... by suckerpunch @ 04/15/14 01:12 PM

Originally Posted By: WonkaSP, I would think you need to separate parenting from moving. From what you say ^^^, then all military brats are unstable people! They move more than regular Joes. Right? I get that Wonka. Although, I did not mean
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: St. Elmo's Fire by SunFunOne @ 04/15/14 01:09 PM

Yes, she's had a rough go of it lately. First the Alzheimer's & some heart problems. Then breaking her hip last summer. Now this. From what I've been told - she is not going to have treatment. Her heart could not take it and she has too many othe
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Crimson......still just checkin' in. by Crimson @ 04/15/14 12:59 PM

I love you guys, Bug and GM. I know I have probably extrapolated waaaay too far in the future with XW and OM -- and it's not healthy. I think I get caught in the "wouldn't just me by luck if...." world and then assume the most painful con
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: She's returning home for in house separation! by Oxford1 @ 04/15/14 12:49 PM

PLEASE HEAR ME OUT. Had a great session with the Marriage Coach today. He said that I appear to be in a much better place then I was a few weeks ago (Must be all my board supporters!). We discussed boundaries and rules. He said that he can see th
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: I think I belong here #2 by praying_in_GA @ 04/15/14 12:49 PM

Something I realized this morning: I was trying to get up to go somewhere. The kids were piled on top of me and no matter what I did they weren't moving fast enough for me (this actually happens quite often, no one wants to be the first to move). I
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: How do you do THIS part... by suckerpunch @ 04/15/14 12:47 PM

Here is that list of 10 things I would like to do 1) lose more weight and improve my fitness. I have recently returned to the gym, and I have started dieting. I feel great, but I want to look and feel a whole lot better. My ultimate goal is 30 pound
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: How do you do THIS part... by Wonka @ 04/15/14 12:47 PM

SP, I would think you need to separate parenting from moving. From what you say ^^^, then all military brats are unstable people! They move more than regular Joes. Right?
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: snap back to reality..... by Starsky309 @ 04/15/14 12:43 PM

GOOD JOBBIES!!
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: She left - 3 by Wonka @ 04/15/14 12:43 PM

GoFo, It seems that you've thought about the book situation very carefully and agree that timing is everything. Even if you do talk this week with W, I'd hold off on bringing up the comments as you said that things are "fragile" at the mo
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: She left - 3 by labug @ 04/15/14 12:35 PM

Quote:If the kids weren't such an easy excuse I wonder how much harder it would be for us to interact. That's not where you are so why do you go there? Your default is set to "I'm not good enough" or something close to that. Is that true
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: Figuring out how to behave by mdu @ 04/15/14 12:31 PM

As for what I am doing to get out of the house and settle my mind...unfortunately since we have decided to recommit and reconcile that has been tougher and tougher to do. I've found my circle of supporters has shrunk (apparently people I know are mu
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: How do you do THIS part... by suckerpunch @ 04/15/14 12:29 PM

I am not wishing to have primary household, for financial reasons. My worries are based completely on Daughters best interests. I wish to be very involved in her life. She needs a stable home environment. STBXW has moved several times,in the last yea
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