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Forum   Subject
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: New to DB - Need Help! Pt 2 by Train @ Yesterday at 05:13 AM

Well then, it looks like this is a perfect plan. He'll know you know ... without you saying a WORD. A friend of mine says: "Transfer the anguish." Give it back to the person who needs it: Him. Not you. Let him squirm a little while yo
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: How to start rebuilding? - 2 by Hoju @ Yesterday at 05:13 AM

Thanks Nitty, I try to focus on me and on GAL, PMA and detaching. I've done so much for myself, counseling (both solo MC and IC), I quit wasting time on computer games, I've been working out, learning a new language, reading, started more vigorously
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: 2nd time around part 3 by NotAgainPlease @ Yesterday at 05:02 AM

Well, its been a while since I've been here. Not much as changed. Still trying to divorce but my husband's attorney is an idiot! But anyway. We still talk daily and he continues to do stuff around the house. No gf talk although I think she got tired
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Staying Focused by BrightFuture @ Yesterday at 04:59 AM

Originally Posted By: kmlI bet the story was that your marriage had been over for years, moving out was just a formality, you hadn't had sex in years, yadda yadda yada. That's usually the way it works. Yeap, this is what my H told to the girl he tr
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: The Awakening of ME by mleigh4 @ Yesterday at 04:58 AM

Vent time. Most days go well, then I have days like today where I just feel down. I have been fighting a cold for a week, but continue to take care of S, homework, baths, dinner, pets, etc. not ONCE has H asked how I feel. Most days I ask H how
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Staying Focused by kml @ Yesterday at 04:53 AM

Btw, only you could make outpatient surgery sound like a spa day!!!
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: Need help. Jefe wants to change himself. Pt 7 by Jefe @ Yesterday at 04:52 AM

She engaged in hopeless talk today. "It cannot be fixed, it's too far gone to fix", etc...
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Staying Focused by kml @ Yesterday at 04:51 AM

Hww probably can't understand why you're upset, because your ex most likely lied to her. I bet the story was that your marriage had been over for years, moving out was just a formality, you hadn't had sex in years, yadda yadda yada. That's usually t
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: New to DB - Need Help! Pt 2 by Rzrback @ Yesterday at 04:49 AM

I like the smiling idea, Train. I don't want an actual confrontation, but something just to let him know that I know. I don't unfortunately have much evidence. At least nothing I can send his W.
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: Doing the limbo thing (thread 7) by Train @ Yesterday at 04:41 AM

What Starsky said ... Update, please, sho??
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Staying Focused by uRworthy @ Yesterday at 04:34 AM

So glad you are ok, Mighty. Dont forget to take care of you...because you matter, too.
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: Need help. Jefe wants to change himself. Pt 7 by Hope414 @ Yesterday at 04:28 AM

I disagree. I strongly recommend you believe everything she says. Not to believe everything she says would be dismissive. However, take no action on anything she says. Your wife is responsible for her words...not you. For example, if she says she
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: New to DB - Need Help! Pt 2 by Train @ Yesterday at 04:22 AM

Rzrback, Telling OM to "leave your W alone" is a waste of energy and breath. If he's having an EA - or a PA - with a married woman, chances are he doesn't have much of a moral compass ... or, at least, if he DOES have one, he isn't being g
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: May your Christmas, by Ggrass @ Yesterday at 04:21 AM

Have a $hit house day. Last nights me couldn't sleep. Rinse spin repeat. Wash rinse repeat! Heads pounding. Attitudes far outed and rhymes with fire truck! Kicks dirt... Tempted to ask accountant out to dinner, just because I damn well can, si
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: No contact... by LostFil @ Yesterday at 04:09 AM

I hate to see so many other people suffering through the same thing, but I'm glad to know I'm not crazy.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Inside my chrysalis 7 by Ss06 @ Yesterday at 04:09 AM

So many of you had so much faith in me I feel so blessed to be here, like you all thought I'd be. What would I do without you all? Card, ever get writing and responding to someone and then say, "OMG, I just answered the question if been worki
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Newcomer With Hope (3) by Jefe @ Yesterday at 03:58 AM

I feel the exact same way today, Little. Exactly the same.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: KGirl con't by Pink17 @ Yesterday at 03:57 AM

Hi KGirl, Sorry to hear that you are so hurt with all what is happening. I read so much of the negative side of the story, but you have been with this men for so long... you are here too. So you know that there is some good in him. Maybe there are
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Wife walked away (4 months ago now) thread 3 by BigMac @ Yesterday at 03:53 AM

Yeah, I'm pulling back again. There were lies about a bunch of stuff, why she forged stuff on her filings, inconsistency between her filings (actions) and her words. Stuff like that. The topic of how she hurt S9 when she left for months on end wit
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Really too late.... by lost18 @ Yesterday at 03:49 AM

So, I'm continuing to struggle. Still have not figured out how to detach or drop my expectations. Even when I'm out doing my own thing I'm wondering what he's doing. Grrr... I'm just in such a weird place. There is this gynormous elephant in the
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Inside my chrysalis 7 by Card29 @ Yesterday at 03:47 AM

Ss, you crack me up. You say you don't know how you got to detachment, then you proceed to rattle off one of the best detachment roadmaps I've seen so far And I don't think it was an accident. It was just persistence + time. Keep it up, and don't b
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Maybell XXII by Jefe @ Yesterday at 03:40 AM

I don't know when the last time I touched my wife's bare skin was. I crave it too. I can relate to the resentment thing, Maybell. I had a terrible conversation with the wife today. I was halfway into it before I remembered to DB, reflective listen,
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Staying Focused by Mighty @ Yesterday at 03:27 AM

Quote:Xh was not aware that my surgery was today. D13 is still home sick. She said xh came in today and was calling my name. She just said I left already (she said she didn't know if she should tell him about surgery- bless her heart, she is so prote
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Maybell XXII by rppfl @ Yesterday at 03:22 AM

I don't think there's anything wrong with craving human touch, especially from someone it used to be so natural with. As long as you dont expect it to change anything of course --and I know you don't.
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Staying Focused by Mighty @ Yesterday at 03:17 AM

Oh yeah! (cant get rid of me that easily!) Two things xh said last night.... uuuuhhh... I can only think of one. We had a windstorm. A panel from my privacy fence blew off into the neighbors yard. When xh stopped over last night, I said, Look! He
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