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Forum   Subject
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Zelda - reflecting and grieving by Zelda09 @ Yesterday at 01:46 AM

V, I see it now, your comment about do what I need to, even if I have to pull more than my weight. I get it. Ok, thank you.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Detaching-Taming the Rollercoaster (2) by Zelda09 @ Yesterday at 01:44 AM

Maybe a start is to accept the couch and in the morning, bring her a cup of coffee and say, W, I understand why you reacted the way you did when I told you I would be sleeping in the bed. It is inappropriate of me to put you in a position that you're
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Affair Over but Stuck by AJM @ Yesterday at 01:43 AM

I haven't caught up on the entire thread, so excuse me if you covered this already. You are aware that once an A is over, it takes time to rebuild the trust AND to get over the A, right? Her wanting to go to counselling is a sign she isn't done tr
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Detaching-Taming the Rollercoaster (2) by AJM @ Yesterday at 01:38 AM

Fogg, you're an interesting man. You have an awesome perspective on things and are very self-aware. What was it your IC said about sleeping in your own bed? About moving out? I can tell you that when I faced similar, I didn't leave my bed. Or
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Detaching-Taming the Rollercoaster (2) by Fogg @ Yesterday at 01:37 AM

I went upstairs to ask her If we can have a discussion about this tomorrow when were both calm, since I don't feel like having this situation escalate any more. Shes moved the bed to completely barricade the door. She just kept telling me to close
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Put one foot in front of the other... by Eirinn @ Yesterday at 01:36 AM

Glad that I could give you a laugh, HeavyD. You deserve one.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Affair Over but Stuck by Hurt06 @ Yesterday at 01:34 AM

I'm watching for baby steps.....how will I know when she is more willing to work on reconciling ? She will text me after a few days of me being gone and seems hurt that I have not checked on her. Example: "I hope your doing good" "how
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Detaching-Taming the Rollercoaster (2) by Fogg @ Yesterday at 01:23 AM

This is where I get confused. I don't know how to do this without being the doormat. If I stand up for myself on the moving out or the bed she instantly goes to threats of taking the kids away or changing the divorce paperwork to punish me. I know
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Focused on Me and My Son by Sherman333 @ Yesterday at 01:18 AM

Any advice on winning a custody battle?
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: MLC W, Part 8 by AJM @ Yesterday at 01:01 AM

Glad to hear how things are going, Wet. Seems your perspective and self are taking some positive steps. Funny how we learn things from the youngin's, yeah? AJ
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Detaching-Taming the Rollercoaster (2) by Zelda09 @ Yesterday at 01:00 AM

Oh, I see. You want to sleep in your bed - and she can make the decision to lay there with you (how great is that sleep going to be for either of you??) or go to her couch? Well, I'm caught up. I can relate to the mother son dynamic you describe, un
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: So I am divorced. by mahhhty @ Yesterday at 12:53 AM

Originally Posted By: lost18Why is it so easy to read about another situation and know what to do but so difficult when it's your own. I hear you Lost. I feel the same way. It is much more difficult when it comes ourselves.
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: MLC W, Part 8 by kat727 @ Yesterday at 12:47 AM

What I do, but ex does not, is I claim my oldest and give him the amount he would have gotten on his own. It benefits me more. Next year it won't matter as both boys will be gone. Hope it all works out. kat
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Detaching-Taming the Rollercoaster (2) by Fogg @ Yesterday at 12:45 AM

No, she does not want me sleeping in the room with her. I've been sleeping on the couch since BD and last night decided I would sleep back in my own bed tonight. Shes fully against sleeping next to me right now, just sleeping. There was an EA that
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Detaching-Taming the Rollercoaster (2) by Zelda09 @ Yesterday at 12:40 AM

I don't get it - she wants to sleep with you through a D? Is there an affair? The fact that she is heated over this is interesting. I am going to read up on your sitch a bit more.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Zelda - reflecting and grieving by Vanilla @ Yesterday at 12:40 AM

Z Here is the key : worth rescuing from his own crises! You already have my view on the prod. V
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Detaching-Taming the Rollercoaster (2) by Fogg @ Yesterday at 12:33 AM

Nothing in hallway, I think its more likely she barricaded the door. She said before when we were talking "what do you expect me to do then? because I will not sleep next to you" She also threatened to change the things in the divorce pap
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Detaching-Taming the Rollercoaster (2) by Fogg @ Yesterday at 12:31 AM

Thank you Zelda, I appreciate the words. Not sure how tonight will go. My things were still in the room and she asked me if I wanted them before she went to bed, I said no Ill be sleeping in my own bed tonight. She said "No, you will not"
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Put one foot in front of the other... by HeavyD @ Yesterday at 12:29 AM

haha!!
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Confused 3 by Vanilla @ Yesterday at 12:28 AM

Detatching is letting go of the outcome Joe. It is about being caring, loving, kind and letting others be, do, say as they are. Accepting them and their behaviour. Using your boundaries when what they do that which is unacceptable to you. Cold and i
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Put one foot in front of the other... by Eirinn @ Yesterday at 12:25 AM

Saw this sign today and it made me think. "Never be afraid to try something new. Remember amateurs built the ark and professionals built the Titanic."
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Zelda - reflecting and grieving by Zelda09 @ Yesterday at 12:23 AM

V, you, Maybell, Calibri have all said this - I must have had some degree of co-dependence here. The need to replay old patterns. And I will continue seeing IC to address it. I chose my H bc of how LITTLE he reminded me of my father. Instead of big e
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Uno by Mighty @ Yesterday at 12:19 AM

job, you have a heart of gold. You are so knowledgeable, compassionate, and giving. You are truly a special person.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Detaching-Taming the Rollercoaster (2) by Zelda09 @ Yesterday at 12:09 AM

Fogg, I am sorry for your pain. I know that helpless feeling, the panic. I think that, the big WHY, the feeling that your right arm no longer wants to be part of our bodies is the grief we all share. Just have to get through it and try hard to be our
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Working the Plan by HeavyD @ Yesterday at 12:07 AM

Thanks for the comment and suport. Im heartened to know that others feel the same. Maybe we should start a lonely hearts club??
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