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Active Topics | Active Posts | Unanswered Posts Past 24 hours | Past 48 hours | Past 7 days
Forum   Subject
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: MLC? Maybe you can tell me... by job @ 03/22/17 12:43 PM

Bird, Trying to negotiate w/a MLCer is like trying to negotiate w/a moving target. Why? Because what he wants will change from one time to the next and it doesn't matter if he agrees to whatever you are proposing today or not because unless it is lo
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: the bomb was dropped..... by Sunmoon @ 03/22/17 12:41 PM

Thank you 25yearsmlc. I'll be purchasing the DR tomorrow. I have been trying very hard to take what he says are our "problems" and try to make them right. I have not nagged him once since the BD. no bad tone of voice, no fighting, and tryin
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: So Confused and Conflicted (4) by WshIKnw @ 03/22/17 12:41 PM

25, I figured just accepting her offer that I thought wasn't fair wasn't demanding respect from her. She needs to respect me, doesn't she? I'm also trying to create a loss, and consequences for her actions. Sandi says these are good things, that W ha
For Newcomers
Originally Posted By: Tryin2figuritoutOn the apology letter, I find this helpful internally. Write it up like you plan on giving it to her, but do not. It's a healthy exercise to identify what you think you have done wrong in the past in your R. W
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Help - Setting Boundaries, WW in EA - Thread #4 by Tryin2figuritout @ 03/22/17 12:34 PM

On the apology letter, I find this helpful internally. Write it up like you plan on giving it to her, but do not. It's a healthy exercise to identify what you think you have done wrong in the past in your R. Work on those things without her knowle
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: So Confused and Conflicted (4) by 25yearsmlc @ 03/22/17 12:33 PM

PS I don't see the affair lasting very long if he has 4 kids. OM's wife may press things and that can lead to D and that can temporarily push the APs together. But it's just too much of a leap and chore to instantly become a step mom (as if the ki
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: So Confused and Conflicted (4) by Jeep74 @ 03/22/17 12:32 PM

Quote:It is what it is; prying into the details of that would only cause pain for me This. Do you really want to know what happened between them? I have tons of sex-act pictures of the ex and the OM that the OM's wife sent me. Tons. Do you really wa
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: So Confused and Conflicted (4) by 25yearsmlc @ 03/22/17 12:30 PM

Originally Posted By: WshIKnwOriginally Posted By: Jeep74What in the actual f***. So, you agree to not "sue" her or someone for something she made a choice in? Good luck with that. Dude, that is spineless...threatening to "sue" if
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: So Confused and Conflicted (4) by Jeep74 @ 03/22/17 12:29 PM

Originally Posted By: KevinInOriginally Posted By: WshIKnwOriginally Posted By: Jeep74What in the actual f***. So, you agree to not "sue" her or someone for something she made a choice in? Good luck with that. Dude, that is spineless...thre
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: So Confused and Conflicted (4) by Jeep74 @ 03/22/17 12:28 PM

Originally Posted By: WshIKnwWhy would I want such a clause? I never cheated. It's a common clause, but I was told it's usually only there if there is a reason for it to be. Common clause? I've never seen or heard of it.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: So Confused and Conflicted (4) by Kaizen @ 03/22/17 12:26 PM

Originally Posted By: WshIKnwshe will feel more free to talk to me and tell me the truth about everything that happened. Just curious, but what difference does it make? Ill probably never know the details of the R between my ex and the AP, and Im p
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Wife with Neighbor Across the Street by Kaizen @ 03/22/17 12:23 PM

Originally Posted By: selloutso if at the end of the day I still want to save things as crazy as it sounds, what is my next move? I'd start by arranging a parenting plan. There is no excuse for you to be the only parent home with your son. Letti
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: So Confused and Conflicted (4) by KevinIn @ 03/22/17 12:21 PM

Originally Posted By: WshIKnwOriginally Posted By: Jeep74What in the actual f***. So, you agree to not "sue" her or someone for something she made a choice in? Good luck with that. Dude, that is spineless...threatening to "sue" if
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: So Confused and Conflicted (4) by WshIKnw @ 03/22/17 12:16 PM

Why would I want such a clause? I never cheated. It's a common clause, but I was told it's usually only there if there is a reason for it to be.
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: Flying Blind by Jeep74 @ 03/22/17 12:15 PM

Originally Posted By: GordieWhen you go nuclear...I want to sit back and watch the fireworks... But if you want to know what I've got and my options, ask me on the other board or PM me.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: So Confused and Conflicted (4) by Jeep74 @ 03/22/17 12:12 PM

Originally Posted By: WshIKnwOriginally Posted By: Jeep74What in the actual f***. So, you agree to not "sue" her or someone for something she made a choice in? Good luck with that. Dude, that is spineless...threatening to "sue" if
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: the bomb was dropped..... by 25yearsmlc @ 03/22/17 12:12 PM

Originally Posted By: SunmoonGordie, I understand that. I also am trying to come to grips that it was me and my behavior towards him that pushed him away. I am a strong person and know I can get past the rejection eventually, like you said its just h
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: It takes two to make it work (pt. 6) by Bird @ 03/22/17 12:11 PM

Originally Posted By: SBJI have done a ton of reading and still am a total novice on the subject, but I know enough to know that MLC, or whatever it is that she is going thru, is devastating to a family unit. As a LBS, my family (parents & siblin
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: MLC? Maybe you can tell me... by Bird @ 03/22/17 12:05 PM

H sent a long email back, using the word "adjustment" excessively. This is just an adjustment for the kids, an adjustment for us, adjustment adjustment adjustment. I put a clause in SA that support/maint start when house sells or 9/1, whi
For Newcomers
Jbroken, Helies summed it up pretty well. I feel your pain, right through the screen! I am an introvert by nature, so it has been hard for me to get out of the house and GAL. Although I do have a life with friends, (sisters I am very close to, and tw
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: So Confused and Conflicted (4) by WshIKnw @ 03/22/17 12:03 PM

Originally Posted By: Jeep74What in the actual f***. So, you agree to not "sue" her or someone for something she made a choice in? Good luck with that. Dude, that is spineless...threatening to "sue" if she doesn't talk. How old ar
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: Flying Blind by Jeep74 @ 03/22/17 12:03 PM

Originally Posted By: GordieWhen you go nuclear...I want to sit back and watch the fireworks... Haha. I have a feeling its coming. If I am pushed, I'll light it up like a mad minute.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Wife with Neighbor Across the Street by sellout @ 03/22/17 12:01 PM

one other question, I am currently sleeping on the couch. Should I move back into the bedroom (even though she sleeps at OM house most nights)? I dont want to come across as overbearing or pushy.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Here again 2 by 25yearsmlc @ 03/22/17 11:54 AM

T0, note the use of the words "IF" below and "yet". and other qualifying phrases. I think there's less clarity. also, when did he say the words that he's is only staying b/c you're pregnant? Originally Posted By: T0324Becaus
For Newcomers
Quote:I still haven't done the apology letter, Why write her one, especially when the OM is in the picture? It seems like that would be counterproductive and give them a good laugh??
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