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Active Topics | Active Posts | Unanswered Posts Past 24 hours | Past 48 hours | Past 7 days
Forum   Subject
For Newcomers
New Thread: REALLY trying to detach...but GALing regardless!#4
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: finding happiness...(roar2) by Thornton @ 02/12/16 01:26 PM

Thats why it's so important to "act as if" you are going to be just fine. Dont act cocky, act like you have a quiet confidence that you know you'll be ok. Show him no emotion as you see how he reacts to it.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: What Action do I take? by Maximus @ 02/12/16 01:25 PM

Hi GD, I'll break it down to you. Its pretty simple in my eyes. Dont be her shoulder about her problems with OM or what she did with OMW. Its not your call. She has to solve it on her own. As Sandi says, she has to put her big girl panties on. De
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: finding happiness...(roar2) by roar @ 02/12/16 01:24 PM

And all he wants to do today is plan for the D - aka how to get rid of me ASAP. Just last night he said he'd give me time, then I have an emotional day today and he's pissy. Ugh. I see what you guys have been going through with this back and forth of
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: What Action do I take? by sandi2 @ 02/12/16 01:23 PM

Here is a good description of DBing detachment. Healthy Detachment...(Posted by DBer Peanut originally) I. Detachment Detachment is critical to the process of altering and repairing a relationship. Attached, we take personally ALL that is said
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Marriage Crumbling by Thornton @ 02/12/16 01:21 PM

It's not too late. Cadet will stop by shortly with your homework. Make sure you read all of it and do not share this website with your wife.
For Newcomers
Time to start a new thread. Here are my previous threads: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2625540&page=1 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2637911&page=1
For Newcomers
I totally understand how you feel. Basically you are addicted to your H. Have you ever attended a Codependents Anonymous meeting? They are very similiar to Al-Anon meetings for the families of alcoholics. Support groups are great because no one
For Newcomers
Originally Posted By: ThorntonDoes your H drink alot? Do drugs? No, he doesn't do either. He stopped smoking for me 12 years ago and took up dipping. After BD, he took up smoking again. So now, he smokes and dips. He told me he did that because
For Newcomers
Is your signature updated? I'd love to help if I can but I'm not sure of your current status. Can you provide a quick bullet point synopsis at the beginning of your next thread of what has happened and where you are now? When people do that it's v
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: What Action do I take? by TxHubby @ 02/12/16 01:05 PM

Originally Posted By: GoodDadThoughts on her getting closure or telling the guy its done and if I should be in on that call or all 4 people in on the call? I see there being another conversation at some point. Can I ask my wife if there has been
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: my wife can't decide (II) by TxHubby @ 02/12/16 01:00 PM

Originally Posted By: WillDoShe believes that even if she cuts contact that she would not feel she is connected to me. She is acting very strange. I even told at the session that to move forward she needs to stop contact. She said there were more un
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: B's Bootcamp v3 by RosaLinda @ 02/12/16 12:59 PM

I agree with what TX Hubby said in your last thread B, that your wife doesn't sound like a very nice woman, at least not now. Do you think she might be going thru a mid life crisis? My ex went thru a MLC (probably is still in it ), and, while he was
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: What Action do I take? by GoodDad @ 02/12/16 12:59 PM

Thoughts on her getting closure or telling the guy its done and if I should be in on that call or all 4 people in on the call? I see there being another conversation at some point. Can I ask my wife if there has been that talk? She told me tod
For Newcomers
Originally Posted By: WonkaMB, Questions: 1-What was H like before you married him? 2-How long was your courtship before getting engaged? 3-What were the dynamics with the sets of children prior to marriage? 4-How and where did you meet H? That wil
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Marriage Crumbling by James3 @ 02/12/16 12:57 PM

Hi everyone, I don't know where to start. I've been married to my wife for 16 years, we are in our mid 40's, have three boys and have fought on and off for years but over the past few months has gotten worse. The past few weeks leading up to last ni
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: my wife can't decide (II) by WillDo @ 02/12/16 12:57 PM

Not at all. Thanks Cadet. These hardly worked for me. Nowadays I take Lithium which helps but what I really do is to use mindfulness when I am in negative thoughts. Of course, when you can't function, the drugs calm your system. The extreme is electr
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: What Action do I take? by pinn @ 02/12/16 12:51 PM

Yea gooddad...no reason to snoop anymore right? It can only make you feel like crap. Focus on yourself, crush it.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: What Action do I take? by otw @ 02/12/16 12:46 PM

Just stop everything right now. Emotions are running high. Please take some time and focus on you and your kids. Let everything else go for a while. Do things that make you happy. Don't snoop. No reason. You know of the OM You can not do anything
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Pink's Journey - A New Horizon by Wonka @ 02/12/16 12:45 PM

Pink, Let me lay it out to you coming from a former MLCer. Your XH wants you and wants to be back in your life. What's holding him back is a genuine fear of rejection from you. In reading about text exchanges and interactions with XH, I the str
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: What Action do I take? by TxHubby @ 02/12/16 12:41 PM

Originally Posted By: GoodDadI'm just asking because I really feel at this point that any further contact with OM is call for papers being filed. I'm not jacking around anymore. EXACTLY the right attitude. You really are too good for this. You
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: My story JB910 by Thornton @ 02/12/16 12:41 PM

So sorry JBS. I know how painful this is for you. Your whole world feels like its crumbling. You are going to need to break down your day into tiny bite size chunks. Instead of focusing on making it through today. Make it through the next hour.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: What Action do I take? by TxHubby @ 02/12/16 12:38 PM

Originally Posted By: GoodDadSo is checking phone records and having email passwords being detached or do you just not care about that stuff? I guess it depends where you are. In a marriage there is no privacy except in the bathroom when going #
For Newcomers
Whoops - just noticed you mentoined you were codependent. Needless to say, this would be a great time to work on this in therapy. Does your H drink alot? Do drugs?
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: My story JB910 by Jb9140 @ 02/12/16 12:36 PM

I Moved out last night. I couldn't do In-house separation anymore. My wife and I met with a mutual friend to discuss our situation. My wife says that she wants a divorce, and doesn't want to be married to me anymore period. He continued to asks her s
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