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WE WILL DO OUR BEST TO KEEP THE FORUMS UP AND RUNNING. HOWEVER, THERE MAY BE TIMES DURING THIS PROCESS WHEN THEY ARE DOWN. THANKS FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND UNDERSTANDING.
MDU, I would suggest that you give this a rest for a week to allow you two to adjust from the talks you've had lately. Take a breather to get yourself centered. Let me ask you a question. -What has been the dynamic in the M when it comes to makin
How can anyone make sure this doesn't happen again? This is part of the reason this is so hard. Trust, honor, loyalty... all of that has come into question and they are the basis for a marriage we all want. We all knew the restoration process was
Thx Ss06! Wonka, should I suggest these ideas to H or wait for him to suggest? I mean MC is a no brainer...it worries me a bit that he's not initiating that, kwim? I don't want him to just go along for the ride & waste our time & money!
Thanks LITB- I appreciate your response. I have been given that advice from many- to take care of myself and concentrate on myself. I am trying. You are right it is hard to detach sometimes, especially when you miss your spouse so much. The area
But, you will never be able to make sure it doesn't happen again. What you went through was and is unspeakable, no question. But there are no guarantees in life, why can't you just let him help with the kids more and leave R stuff for later?
Caliguy, I don't know what to say, except that from what I've read, coparents can't really go dark. If you think your S would like to spend family time together, you could look at it as making this easier for him by going. Be light, warm and breezy
Keep checking in. You're getting there. It's not a fun process that's for sure but it has worked for SO many people. You may not have contact right now but this means you have the gift of time in spades. Use it. Seriously.
Thanks. I have read the DB book and will re read. I even took a coaching call. It was great but I cannot do more if there is no possibility of contact with wife I am beyond the last resort. I bought the remedy book yesterday online along with other
Went out to dinner with S16 tonight and had a good talk about some things that are going on at home. He is aware of much more than I thought. I don't think the A, but he knows that his mom is not being herself anymore (very angry, not around much, di
Yep, because of the "seriousness" of what H did..... I hope ow was AMAZING in bed to make leaving your pregnant wife with it..... I don't feel safe and I want to make sure this will never happen again.
Listen to Starsky and Sandi. They harped on me for mos to stand up and be a man. Set my boundaries and stick to them. Instead, I let my feelings dictate my actions. When I finally had enough and told my W what they are recommending to you, she agre
@ATS Stay strong, stay focused on you. Limit your time with your H if may help with the emotions. Even at S football practice and or games, try to sit elsewhere or walk around the field until you feel strong enough to sit with your H as his friend.
I agree with Wonka (how can I not?!)! Slow and steady. I'm desperate to hear the words "I don't want to lose you". Relish in those words. Cry all you need to. You are facing a lot but Wonka's suggestions are awesome. Breathe and sta
Ok, you're sort of getting it. I have a feeling you haven't read Divorce Busting or Divorce Remedy. I'm not slamming Dr. Laura but she's divorced so I'm not sure she can give a whole lot of advice on how to keep your spouse. Just my very humble op
MDU, It seems that you handled S7's sleep problems really well. Kudos! H said he's afraid to lose you...wow. That is a biggie in my book. Slow and steady. I'd suggest that you call a DB Coach for some advice, if you are able to do so. To me, I
I told her tonight that I am off early tomorrow, so may stop in. Going to do some court paperwork. She mentions we have therapy next week and it is good we have gotten all the logistic stuff off the table. WTF? So I guess she will be all about therap
yay for movement on the geometry front! That's great news! I just wanted to make an observation about your W... one perhaps you've already made. I think a lot of women struggle with knowing the difference between self-care and what your wife is do
I kept throwing lots of money into projects with no immediate payoff. I would have broken my will and spirit in retrospect to make her happy with a paycheck job just to make her smile. We have no contact at all. If I even text her I will land in j
Seems you are fighting between wanting to be there for her and not wanting to be treated like a door mat. About right? Here's the thing. She is in pain. You may not have caused it, but it is what it is. She knows that. She articulated that t