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Forum   Subject
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Keeping it real by Ahoy @ Yesterday at 02:06 PM

Zeus, I think DB would say don't initiate anything -- let wife do all the work. That being said, if you feel that the situation is untenable and you have to look out for yourself, then do so. It also might jolt her into realizing the reality of the s
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: standing for me by Ahoy @ Yesterday at 02:00 PM

Thanks raliced. I'm really torn. I may have to be in a situation where one of us gets summers and holidays, and I have to recognize that this person could end up being me if I choose to move. It's not what's best for D14, but having an unemployed mot
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Trying to stay patient- part 6 by Ahoy @ Yesterday at 01:56 PM

Tarheel, don't get sucked into her vortex. She may have been saying nice things to you and buttering you up with the dinner offer as a way of getting what she wants out of the dissolution. Don't believe anything they say. Remember that. Stay strong i
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: What I learned from H's MLC by 123Gwen @ Yesterday at 01:56 PM

GALbaby & Nero --- totally terrified but I tell myself to "fake it until I make it" plaster on that smile and keep taking it one step at a time. I hung up a large picture over the fireplace. I had never done that before by myself. I am
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Shall hate be fairer lodged than gentle love? by Jefe @ Yesterday at 01:54 PM

I know everyone at Gunns very well. Please keep in mind not all Servpro's are created equally since they are each individually owned. I did a 12 year tour with Servpro so I might very possibly know exactly who you are referring to.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Intro and Thoughts by Hrdtims @ Yesterday at 01:54 PM

Hi guys and gals, I find support here reading your posts. Here is my situation: Our history M-18yrs, together 21, Me 41, Her 43, 3 great kids 15, 14, and 10. I have read DR, she does not search out information or help other than one of her close fri
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Depressed WAW 4 by raliced @ Yesterday at 01:53 PM

Hang in there Card, Dealing with a spouse who has a serious illness (which this sounds like) is bound to be pretty tough. Take comfort in the "Believe none of what they say"- since your W is depressed I believe it is doubly true for you r
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Maybell XVI by Ahoy @ Yesterday at 01:52 PM

Claire, we're all here for you, even if we can't see you in person. You're not alone, and you're certainly not the only one going through this, as evidenced by this forum. ((hugs))
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: Need help. Scared, confused pt 3 by Jefe @ Yesterday at 01:51 PM

Quote:She is still way deep in the fog of alien land. Continue to focus on you but listen to her when she spews. The advice that was given to me was to really listen to the stuff that hurt the most. This feedback is probably dead on and something on
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: What is going on in their heads? by zew @ Yesterday at 01:51 PM

If you want him back, or if you at least want to keep that option open for now while you decide, then think in terms of what moves the ball in the right direction. Option 1 is a little cold. It may come to that in the end, but I think you should he
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Shall hate be fairer lodged than gentle love? by Shakspr @ Yesterday at 01:51 PM

Jefe - you don't work at Gunn's Restoration or Serv-Pro do you? I had a house fire 7 years ago, and buddy, I've got some stories about what not to do in that sitch. Take care everyone! Detach! Choose to enjoy something, even if it's just a good c
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Do I walk away from WAW? (2) by 1foot2 @ Yesterday at 01:49 PM

Struggling with my PMA around W lately. It's no longer sadness, just resentment. I'm really worried that if we go on like this, I will simply lose my love for her. Or I find myself questioning if this is really a person I want to live with. She just
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Depressed WAW 4 by Ahoy @ Yesterday at 01:49 PM

Don't respond! She's not worth your energy or attention. She's just trying to absolve her own poor choices by saying that to you. My H did the same thing. Just know that you're the better person, and you won't have to live with the guilt of being the
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Raliced - Climbing Without a Rope by raliced @ Yesterday at 01:49 PM

This morning I am adjusting a bit to my new reality. STBX has the kids. It always amazes me to think that bafore BD, I longed for a few days of complete peace and quiet and now that I have them forced on me - I hate them. My kids should be here getti
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Wife Still in MLC but has now left #5 by Matt165 @ Yesterday at 01:41 PM

Thank you so much for posting fth! Things are worse than ever. I'm not sure how I'm going to get out of this mess but time is running out. I've been sick up until today. I did get in touch with my parents and they helped me with my car payments and
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Trying to stay patient- part 6 by Tarheel @ Yesterday at 01:36 PM

Didn't end up meeting last night. I sent her a text yesterday afternoon, but didn't hear back until this morning- 'Wasn't in a good place to talk last night..try tonight?' Mind reading that meeting with an attorney made chit real for her...
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Depressed WAW 4 by Card29 @ Yesterday at 01:35 PM

Just had a text exchange with her. She said "you can't own my depression". Not sure if she's thinking differently than she was last night or just miscommunicated to me on the phone (if basically sounded like 100% blame on me and our M for h
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Ganb8te 2 - WAH - lost in translation by raliced @ Yesterday at 01:26 PM

Thanks for the recommendation - I'll definitely check this out.
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: Am I on the right track? (2) by wmwb123 @ Yesterday at 01:25 PM

Sorry for the panic attack, folks. I'm not done. I'm just weak. I really should be on antidepressants, but they knock me out, so I can't take them.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Shall hate be fairer lodged than gentle love? by raliced @ Yesterday at 01:25 PM

Glad to hear from you Shakes - Sorry about the bed- and Jefe's advice was excellent. You might be surprised- I think mattresses are treated with something that make them fairly resilient to this sort of thing. Hope D8 is ok.
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: What is going on in their heads? by Mozza @ Yesterday at 01:23 PM

Nice work on the H's list. It's good to know how they rationalize their decision. As much as it doesn't make sense from our perspective, it has to make some sense from theirs. Until we understand that, we'll be in denial and weaker to address it. As
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Wife's Still a Lesbian by essjay @ Yesterday at 01:21 PM

Second Thread First one here http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2480640&page=1 So after around two weeks away W returned home last night. As I reported on previous thread I don't know where she went or w
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: standing for me by raliced @ Yesterday at 01:21 PM

Ahoy, I'm probably the worst person on these boards to be giving you advice at this exact moment, but I will anyway. I would just consider what's best for you and your daughter and leave STBX out of the equation as much as possible. Unfortunately co
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Unlearning conflict avoidance 13 by MrBond @ Yesterday at 01:13 PM

Has anything been moving in terms of your M? Look at the name of this thread. You're still avoiding conflict.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Depressed WAW 4 by Card29 @ Yesterday at 01:11 PM

I am a wreck today. Took the day off work. Not exactly sure what I'm going to do today, but I wasn't going to get s thing done at work. I'm going to try to nap throughout the day because I didn't sleep much last night. Productive goal might be to sta
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