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Forum   Subject
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Help - I want my sparkle back by LouR @ 11/22/14 09:17 PM

Thanks Cadet. I think the enormity of what I am about to do has just hit me. I about to leave the freakin' country - my children and my H; what the heck am I thinking! Stress levels are starting to rise and I am trying really hard to remain strong
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: still holding on - 5 by u-turn @ 11/22/14 08:55 PM

Thanks HP probably too much - I've done that too often I guess. Sometimes I just want to continue a dialog. I doubt she will respond to this in any way thought - she rarely does.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Everyone was right...especially 25yrsmlc.. by 25yearsmlc @ 11/22/14 08:46 PM

Originally Posted By: lifejustgothard2and , yes I do realize and hear that he has made it very clear that He is not trying to keep me from leaving or save the marriage or even come up with a good excuse as to why he did what he did AGAIN! Nothing...
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Separated, but still friends by Toots @ 11/22/14 08:37 PM

Well, I can easily think of what not to do - cry, ask about OW, beg him to stay, grab hold of his ankles as he's walking out of the door...I'm sure none of these will happen of course! I suppose the books would say to aim for 'lovingly distant.' Be
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: confused army wife by rocksy @ 11/22/14 08:29 PM

i think he has borderline personality disorder but is high functioning. he has this strange way of compartmentalizing his emotions. i don't know how to shake him out of it and i have a fear that he won't call me until he is home. in june. and then i
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Inside my chrysalis 7 by Jefe @ 11/22/14 08:26 PM

It's not?!? Man, disappointed at every turn.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Completely shocked at upcoming divorce by raliced @ 11/22/14 08:23 PM

Also- Phx, Given your daughters ages, they might well have some say about where they stay and who they spend time with. Again, each state is different, but in my state the court is supposed to take the kids wishes into consideration once they reach a
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: 2 weeks to destroy a marriage by FaultyH @ 11/22/14 08:16 PM

You are right, Young At Heart. I recently spoke with her and she still wanted me to help her pay for the phone bill. She insisted so much that I agreed to help her only for this month. To this day, she hasn't paid her part and now my phone is going t
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Completely shocked at upcoming divorce by Lifes Twists @ 11/22/14 08:15 PM

Don't give her the house or move out. She has made her decision. Tell her she is welcome to move out to the apartment she shares with other man. Don't leave the bedroom, don't accommodate her in any way. Don't allow other man to move in. She has made
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Navigating in Separation Limbo by Ikymk99 @ 11/22/14 08:13 PM

Wet, thanks again for the concern. It really does mean a lot to me. Like I said, I don't have many friends or relatives that truly understand what I'm going tthrough. They listen and care, are supportive, but I feel they just feel sorry for me. She
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Detached, but not defeated by Bridge @ 11/22/14 08:09 PM

A lot to update. So much confusion. Need to do a little journaling. Yesterday I felt like I was making progress. Today—not so much. I'll start with Thursday night. H is staying at his mom's, and he took the girls during the day on Thursday. I worked
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Busting this Divorce - Separating by Pink17 @ 11/22/14 08:06 PM

I really like your answer HP, do you see how far have you came. Even with a lot of pain, you know what you want and need, you set your boundaries, you are respecting yourself a lot more. It's very positive for you as you are also in this journey to g
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Wife Having Affair - Won't Admit To It by mikechc @ 11/22/14 08:01 PM

Thanks for the message. I needed to here that.
For Newcomers
Time will tell is the phrase I use all the time. She will settle down eventually, either for or against the marriage. This has been hands-down the hardest experience of my life. The detaching is vital. You cannot ride her roller coaster with her,
For Newcomers
Hello love14. I'm so sorry you are here. I only have one piece of advice... it helps to prepare yourself for an OM to appear sooner or later. It could break you if you're not ready. You're first thought with your positive snooping result will be
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: New to DB - Need Help! Pt 2 by Rzrback @ 11/22/14 07:47 PM

We're at home enjoying a rainy fall afternoon. Getting ready to watch to Ole Miss game. Been a pretty good weekend. She said to me a little while ago that she was happy that I didn't leave town and that she felt good. She also told me that she
Piecing Our Marriage Back Together Again
Jump to new posts Re: Crimson....piece by piece by piece...... by Crimson @ 11/22/14 07:38 PM

"Choked back my defensive response".......does that ever get easy?
For Newcomers
It's so much easier said that done, but I totally agree. I'm staying away and acting "as if". Showing her I'm happy and standing tall etc...I dont believe there is another man, or a emotional affair, I sure hope not but after all the sn
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: I thought everything was okay... by HPoirot @ 11/22/14 07:34 PM

Hey MCS. I'm sorry your here and I know the temptation to parse everything your W said since BD looking for a reason or something to hang on to. Some reassurance. Some flaw in OM or some sign W is failing with OM. I still do let my mind wander arou
For Newcomers
Love14, listen to the vets on this forum. I am In a very similar situation with my W. SHe has an EA going on with an OM who fortunately does not live here. She's basically questioning everything about our marriage, says she no longer feels attracti
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Now Separated. Am I doing the right things? by Arsene @ 11/22/14 07:28 PM

Hey guys! I've also been wondering about the Freshmen! Looks like most of us have now graduated to the rest of our lives. Sorry to hear about the papers Rough! AT, your post here is nearly 2 years old so who knows what's up with you now. I hope it
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: still holding on - 5 by HPoirot @ 11/22/14 07:26 PM

Hey u-turn... my opinion is you gave her too much in your response. Her text wasn't asking you for anything. She was making a statement about how she wants to see things. She is rationalizing. She likely also hopes you'll agree so she will feel les
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: I've dropped the rope.... by Toots @ 11/22/14 07:25 PM

So, I'm still reading Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat Zinn, and this struck a chord with me today... He talks of being dissatisfied with the present. Wanting something more to happen. To possess something that would make you feel better, comple
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: I thought everything was okay... by MCS @ 11/22/14 07:24 PM

Also during BD week, I showed her the MWD video on WAW. (Again before DB) She didn't say anything then, but when we actually were talking that one weekend about our R, she said to me something like "When you showed me that video, I could see t
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: I thought everything was okay... by MCS @ 11/22/14 07:17 PM

So before BD, I literally had no clue that there were any significant issues in our marriage. We had what seemed like normal disagreements about activities and such, but we never really fought, we always seemed to resolve our issues, etc. It actually
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