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Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Points to ponder... by wishing, hoping @ 04/17/14 07:16 PM

I have no idea, Wonka. I am not looking forward to this at. All. I don't think it will get anywhere and frankly the thought of sitting in a room for two hours with H and my attorney going at it makes me nauseous. And next Friday is the de novo he
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: she is not OW - just my BFF - NOT! by scooby @ 04/17/14 07:11 PM

starsky - where is hutch? LOL This is so bleeping hard. I can see why people take the easy road and get divorced. It would be easier if he did not live in same house. But then my kids would know something is wrong. I will have to read about bou
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: 5 months of heck...ugh by scooby @ 04/17/14 07:09 PM

Livenow- He has said divorce at least a dozen in six months. I have not counted I am pretty sure he means it. He is just waiting to figure out work. I think the only thing that would change his mind is if relationship with OW broke up - he says
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: not sure how far gone we are... by artsy @ 04/17/14 07:05 PM

^^ no! She'll see it as manipulation. Read it and try to identify her LL AND yours. It may make some things more clear for you about how things happened in the past. Then start using her LL. She needs to feel its a permanent change. It gets easier
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: She's returning home for in house separation! by Oxford1 @ 04/17/14 07:02 PM

Originally Posted By: claire7Take a breath. Stop wondering and worrying about her--what she is doing or thinking or feeling. And worry about yourself. Detach and GAL. Don't strategize so much. Just try to become the man that only a fool would w
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: St. Elmo's Fire by SunFunOne @ 04/17/14 06:50 PM

Really? You, Wii & I should get together. My kids understand totally. Funny, Brandon is bringing us Seasons 1&2 of Breaking Bad to watch. He messaged me "mom - the main character has lung cancer - maybe it would not be good for Josh to
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: My wife left by sandi2 @ 04/17/14 06:43 PM

Quote:She said, "You can trust me to do that, right?" I looked at her without a word, I don't believe I had an expression of any kind on my face. She said, "Really?" I agreed to pay the full amount. It Excellent! I just wished y
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: not sure how far gone we are... by SeanB @ 04/17/14 06:33 PM

I am going to buy the 5 Love Languages..should my W see that I am reading it?
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: She left - 3 by gogofo @ 04/17/14 06:32 PM

I know a part of my escape was from the kids. Our youngest was difficult for the first two years. He ran off three babysitters in two months. He was very moody, volatile, and a screamer. He did not cry, he screamed. The only person who could soothe h
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: She's returning home for in house separation! by claire7 @ 04/17/14 06:30 PM

Take a breath. Stop wondering and worrying about her--what she is doing or thinking or feeling. And worry about yourself. Detach and GAL. Don't strategize so much. Just try to become the man that only a fool would walk away from.
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: New here - H's MLC hit like a ton of bricks by LiveNow @ 04/17/14 06:30 PM

Well, from what I understand, it's quite often the 'nice guy' (or gal in your case, nyk) that spends much of his or her life accommodating others, at the expense of their own happiness. Then, one day, they wake up and wonder how in the heck their lif
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: 5 months of heck...ugh by LiveNow @ 04/17/14 06:21 PM

Hey tld - How many times has your H said he wants a divorce? Mine has done it 4 times now, in 10 months. Still has never uttered the 'D' word, though...This truly is emotional torture.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: She's returning home for in house separation! by Oxford1 @ 04/17/14 06:20 PM

Originally Posted By: claire7Well I am certainly no expert-- still figuring this out myself, so take my advice with a grain of salt. But from what you have described about your situation, and the way you have written about your wife, to me it see
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Wife in MLC and getting ready to go! by Wonka @ 04/17/14 06:05 PM

Me? I took up golfing after Ms. Wonka left. I looove it! Happiest person on a golf course anywhere. Enjoy some special bonding time with your daughter, Matt. I have very fond memories of my late father teaching me how to drive a car.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: She's returning home for in house separation! by claire7 @ 04/17/14 06:04 PM

Well I am certainly no expert-- still figuring this out myself, so take my advice with a grain of salt. But from what you have described about your situation, and the way you have written about your wife, to me it seems like you need to just focu
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Stuck On You by Wonka @ 04/17/14 06:03 PM

Raine, Please bottle up whatever the mystery potion is floating around you and send it on my way! I could use some of it when the time is right. You've come a long way, baby! You are one amazing lady for weathering through all sorts of storms a
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: She's returning home for in house separation! by Oxford1 @ 04/17/14 06:01 PM

Thank you both. That's what I figured, she told the collaborative divorce coach that she enjoys my company, going to the gym. The only thing I don't get is where she wants to take me to the restaurants that she and the AP have gone to! He even sai
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Points to ponder... by Wonka @ 04/17/14 06:01 PM

WH, If H doesn't/won't agree to whatever financial support terms you and L come up with, I am wondering if you can force H's hand by requesting a summary decision by the judge instead of going through the rigmarole of a circus trail. Which means th
For Newcomers
Except for the SSM part. Never had that until EA started in the fall. Ha. "Take it On the Run" by LRB. W and I have the radio on low in our bedroom for background noise. Every time they play that lately after we turn in for the night, I
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Newbie - Husband wants out - tuned me out by hope76 @ 04/17/14 05:41 PM

Thank you, I will start reading. I am overwhelmed and scared. But I have the gift of time..
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: hope456, part 2 by hope456 @ 04/17/14 05:40 PM

Thank you for the recommendations, KGirl! I'll definitely check them out. I never thought of myself as codependent, but what I've read on your thread and a couple of others has really reminded me of behavior that I exhibit, so I think it is worth m
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: She left - 3 by Wonka @ 04/17/14 05:39 PM

GoFo, Workaholic are avoiders in general. They use work to escape some of the harsher realities of life, unhappy home life, unhappy marriage, or loneliness. I'd urge you to assess, examine, and review the reasons why you feel that you're a workaho
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: melissag - update by Wonka @ 04/17/14 05:34 PM

Bets, Along with a Sharpie, we also need to have a getaway car ready on a standby basis for M to escape when the PRE stuff gets a bit too much or her H fires off more wacky emails/texts in her direction. You do the driving and I'll have the golf cl
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Still trying to save my family - part 11 by Wonka @ 04/17/14 05:30 PM

Scorp, This is the 7th time (or pretty close to that number) you've brought up the question if you should talk to your W. It seems to me that you are anxious about the possibility of having W viewing you in a negative light after being served and w
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: DB GOAL SETTING THREAD - What are your goals? by hope456 @ 04/17/14 05:27 PM

Originally Posted By: Upwards What about goals that you've ACHIEVED since DB'ing?! Share those too I've reconnected with a couple of friends with whom I had lost touch. It's been awesome catching up with them
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