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That's a shot to gut Aj. No other way to view it. It's times like this when I pull up Sandi's rules and read the one about not giving up hope no matter how dark things appear. Life's funny, things change. Or they workout for the best and you just do
You don't have to give up hope to detach. You give up letting everything she does or doesn't do (or seems to do or seems not to do) not get to you so much and not cause you to react toward her. You still care. You still have hope. But it is tempe
I agree ... the fact she is still dipping a pinkie toe in, thinking about the kids speaks volumes .... how many other sitches the WAW is hell bent in love and does not care who knows. Something BE can work on here, he just needs to become the man h
Bright, Let me remind you...your h is now the mirror image of the man you once knew. He's going to be doing a lot of "opposites" while in crisis. If he was private pre-crisis, well...he'll be Chatty Cathy now. They do the opposite of jus
Heather, Your STBXH was probably having a wee moment of clarity and was actually thinking about his family. Words are just that words and they do love to draw us into their drama and once we are back in and drop our guard, they hit us again w/a loud
Originally Posted By: WonkaCali, Even as I read your most recent post, I can feel your impatience seeping through it. Instagram with OM notwithstanding, I get the vibe of "let's just get on with a real M...what are you waiting for?" with
I completely agree Cali, exactly what I was thinking. I wasn't suggesting he do it more as showing him what would happen if he did. Even if nothing is going on it would likely cause her to backoff and want a D. She either sees it as controlling be
I bought it . Yeh I googled it seems in California and most states it's her ring once we're married , if she broke off an engagement then it would have been mine. It's a big money hit I'll lose but I just want her back , but honestly she's hurting me
Hi all. Just a quick post to say W went to doctors today and was diagnosed as depressed She's on Prozac for the next 6 months so I hope that will help her sort her life out. Not sure what it means for an R with me but still. Take care. Rd
Originally Posted By: Fogg If you really don't like it and want to put a boundary on it, go ahead. Just understand the consequences from it. Boundaries are about behavior toward you that you will not accept. Example, living in an open M. Basicall
BEC, You are detaching at least to the not being reactive, and that is a big accomplishment. The weakening of the feelings comes much slower. Just keep at it, and don't beat yourself up that you aren't there yet. You say your goal is for your wif
Cali, Even as I read your most recent post, I can feel your impatience seeping through it. Instagram with OM notwithstanding, I get the vibe of "let's just get on with a real M...what are you waiting for?" with your foot tapping on the fl
did she buy you the ring? There are laws regarding who gets the ring if one partner fails to fulfill the promise of marriage, look into it, google it. Remember that a divorce is simply a piece of paper (it is hard to accept but its the truth), sh
Hi Tad, I'm a good one for - shall I do this, or that - oh, but then there's this factor and that factor, and Oh I'm not sure. And I get so indecisive I end up doing nothing. I have decided that sometimes you just have to decide - okay, I don't rea
Thank you asitis, yes I was going to be alone for the 4th as well, but the girl offered and I couldn't say no, I was GAL, it felt good but a little strange that I was out with another family than my own, but I didn't let it get to me, I made some gre
Thanks for the quick reply as always Sandi. I value your options and knowledge alot! Im glad you seem to agree some of her actions have indeed been positive. I think MIL confronting has had much more of an effect then me. She is a huge influence in h
Thanks guys I don't see the dynamics changing she's stuck to her word , has fully detached from me and is going forward quickly with the divorce . I honestly don't see anything that can be done she's made up her mind...
Asitis yeh I didn't know if I should tell her but thought she should know , she was such a caring wife with a big heart didn't expect such cold responses...:( so yeh when she texts on Friday she doesn't want me home so I'll be cordial and won't be ho
Originally Posted By: Georgia BulldogsOriginally Posted By: Pyrite Not a huge point, but you are assuming that she is on this terrible path. This may be the best thing that has ever happened for her. She will die happy in the arms of this OM, or he
I wouldn't worry about her running into you out with a woman and her family on a holiday. You weren't doing anything wrong, and it would make sense that you didn't want to sit at home on a day you normally spend with your family. Makes sense right?