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Forum   Subject
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: FINALLY SURFACING by hotwheelsaust @ Today at 01:16 PM

F, you are so right, along with many others before us. The WAS expect the future to be so much better for them was they have walked. How wrong most of them are. They view leaving us as being the only answer to their happiness, they don't work on them
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Card29 V by Card29 @ Today at 01:14 PM

I've been thinking more about the Brene Brown talk. I do not think I am whole-hearted now. I had some shame before BD (especially about porn) that kept me from connecting to my W. I slept on the couch every night that I viewed it, and that led to
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Card29 V by jim0987 @ Today at 01:11 PM

Unfortunately its not something you can do anything about once you have clearly expressed your feelings (once). What you do have to think about is whether it makes any difference to you and your stance if she does?
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Me 17 months on - detached and dating by hotwheelsaust @ Today at 01:11 PM

Tomorrow is my 2nd anniversary of the BD. At least I am in such a better head space than I was 1 year ago. I have a beautiful partner in vikingblonde. I have learnt to listen better, to speak my view better, to actually hear someone else's view, to a
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: Train, are You OK?? by Train @ Today at 01:10 PM

Makes sense either way!!
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: The Argument Clinic by job @ Today at 01:03 PM

Heather, I'm sorry that this incident happened at your home. However, it is not your fault. You did what you needed to do, i.e., providing information, etc. to the police and that was the proper thing to do. As for your mother, well, consider th
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Card29 V by Card29 @ Today at 12:58 PM

When I objected to it in the phone call, WAW still said she was going to. Who knows, maybe she will tell me something similar in the future. Trying to let go of the rope. I am so damn lonely, though. Just miss her and miss having my D2 all of the
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: standing for me by rd500 @ Today at 12:45 PM

Hi Ahoy. Sorry the hole seems to be getting deeper. Re your D take you time. Your news the last couple of weeks has been grim and very upsetting Don't rush and 4 years is a long time. My thoughts are with you take care
For Newcomers
I forgot to add, last night when we laid fown for bed, she asked how my counseling went. She asked if the counselor knows everything. I told her yes. She also asked what does she say about it, i have nothing to hide from her so I told her. IC asked
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Fresh separation - trying to play by the book by Lifes Twists @ Today at 12:33 PM

I would tell wife that you do not feel friend would be an appropriate god mother to your daughter. I would say if she feels previous godmother is not appropriate then both can choose a new one that both can agree on. Your wifes friend sounds like m
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Card29 V by Maybell @ Today at 12:31 PM

My H also said he was thinking about dating. I sent him a respectful but very strongly worded email saying that I objected to that a lot, but that he was free to do as he saw fit. A few days later he told me that he felt revulsion at the idea of bein
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Maybell XVII by Maybell @ Today at 12:28 PM

Maybell XVI A day or two before he left, my MIL told my H that her parents had gone to marriage counseling when she was a kid, that they'd never been happy and that she'd been wondering lately whether they'd done the right thing by staying togethe
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Fresh separation - trying to play by the book by jim0987 @ Today at 12:18 PM

Mozza - this is the first time im going to to be this blunt on these boards. HELL NO!! You don't have to accept a change like that even if it is only symbolic. You have to keep your kids best interests in mind and from the sounds of it you don't thi
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Trying to stay patient- part 6 by mindsin @ Today at 12:14 PM

I can totally relate, Tarheel. I've been advised by my DB coach to pick up the ball if she drops it, but never be judgemental or critical. Guilt needs to come from herself, not from her husband. Keep in mind that this advice may be tailored for my s
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Card29 V by Card29 @ Today at 12:13 PM

I appreciate the perspective. I will try not to think about it either way.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Need help 3 by lostluv @ Today at 12:12 PM

trying to stay away from the site and do some other things to get my mind off stuff. been watching new shows on tv to try to keep my mind occupied. no real updates or break through. have been trying to be more distant....very hard but managing. H
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: standing for me by dgb60 @ Today at 12:04 PM

I feel your pain regarding your daughter. I am attending a DivorceCare group at a local church in my area and they discuss issues involving the children. I have found this group to be of tremendous help during this nightmare. The group follows a s
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Fresh separation - trying to play by the book by Tarheel @ Today at 12:00 PM

Originally Posted By: MozzaI feel I have to give in and accept the change Why? Do you feel you have to give in because ultimately you're trying to win your W back and this may 'soften' her?' Think of how you'd respond to this request if you were ha
For Newcomers
Need some advice. My wife left yesterday around 645pm and didnt return home til arounf 1015pm. Although not the reason for me being uneasy, it was a semi red flag for me. I tried my best to ignore it. Until she told me that she was going to a costume
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: A New Day by Lifes Twists @ Today at 11:32 AM

So it has been a busy few days. My oldest called on Monday morning all worked up over her situation and what decision she needed to make. Later she called back and asked middle daughter to come up for the night so off we go to keene again to drop o
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: sometimes, the black holes inside ya by jim0987 @ Today at 11:18 AM

Still kicking myself for missing an opportunity to close some emotional distance. I just did more of the same I needed to be more confident, assertive and compassionate. Basically how I was when we first got together which would have meant sitting n
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: On we go by Rick1963 @ Today at 11:16 AM

Barb is Florida that bad? GF and I have talked about moving there. I have been to Disney 3xs but not seen Florida. Im tired of the cold and snow and the expense of my state. We are probably taking a rd trip and check the west coast. Wii I think they
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Edz - continuing to move forward by edz @ Today at 11:16 AM

And as expected she called today to say she's found a possible school place for him from January as that will give her time to work since she's concerned for Money coming in. I really can't (and I'm getting to the point where I don't want to) keep
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Card29 V by LoveMyW @ Today at 11:15 AM

Card, I don't know your W or her mannerisms, but I heard the exact same thing from my W when I was in my needy stage of S.. She told me she would date if she wanted to, and it wasn't cheating or affair etc as in her eyes we weren't together any more
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: Moving towards mediation, need to stop limbo by shodan @ Today at 11:06 AM

some journaling...yesterday I went to yoga with my W. On the way there, she mentioned this super thin woman who goes there. She is to thin frankly and my W expressed come concern for her. Then she mentioned that the woman "checks" me out
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