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I see him pulling you into a R talk here. Be careful. IMO, send a noncommittal smiley face and leave it there for today. I'd avoid anything like "Tell me what you need from me, please." It sounds a bit like pursuing. He seems to respond b
Thanks again, Joe. Acts of service is hard when we're not living together, I think. When he was here, I was trying to do "his" chores -- taking out the trash, walking the dogs, etc -- more often. But when he's at his own place, it's hard to
Connecting convo from last thread, weird spot to transition..... I'm open for input.... Confused. I've been pursuing less than ever. And he seems to want more distance than ever.....maybe he is saying more, but it feels like he's moving further a
Quote:I want to just respond with something short for now, because if he opens himself like this, I don't want to reinforce it negatively and ignore....I want to encourage him to be safe with me when he has feelings. Shining, I think you gave your
Hey Mighty, thanks for checking up on me. I’ve been doing good, mostly, with some sadness creeping in sometimes. Overall, my life is good. I’m settled at work. I went on a business trip two weeks ago and discovered that it is not that bad to travel t
Links to previous threads: First post: DENIAL was my HAPPY PLACE!!! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...100#Post2473100 For better or for worse, for richer or for PORES? http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...846#Post2475846 Carry on,
I'm not sure that's what his plan was (but I don't know him like you do). He's a confusing dude, that's for sure. Next time I'd say, "I'll meet you all at the bowling alley" but I completely understand that being MONTHS away, Maybell.
Shining, I would keep it at "I appreciate you being so open and honest with me." drop the rest as he may take it as you persueing him and back off more. Keeping it simple validates him while not putting any pressure on him.
I don't feel that I have been clear about my boundaries and this is also biting me. I am going to tell her - either a short letter or verbal: Mrs. U-turn - I know that I have told you that I can forgive you, trust you again, and move on from this,
Things he hasn't said like this before: Sorry he got quiet (openly acknowledging, rather than "none of your business what I do") Afraid My fault not yours (owning something....anything!) Hard to explain Just processing it all.... Ok, yea
Thank you, SS, typically I would have taken the comment about taking it farther to mean physical ... But he made zero moves that way, and he's not subtle when he does, lol.... Based on the situation, I was taking it to mean emotion. That is what wo
Well, glad it's helping someone because I clearly am still a newbie. When H came to pick up D this afternoon she was still napping. He asked if we could talk about this complicated child care situation. On the plus side, I stayed totally calm an
vent, vent, vent. this is the place for it. Dont' expect sweetened texts. Have no expectations... because when you do, you get to make BLTs (metaphor for nothing changing and getting taken advantage of). Expectations create opportunities for di
I can see how I became more of a pursuer in my M. A lot of the trends describe me, but not all of them. For example, I’m not overly trusting, not that people oriented, don’t openly show my feelings to everyone – just the opposite actually, I was hidi
Ok, I *think* maybe the "took it farther" part was the kissing and snuggling he initiated? I LOVE that he initiated an explanation, too. That's awesome! Stating he's scared is HUGE, too! You both know there's unresolved stuff so acknowl
I'm so glad he's going to be gone for so long. I need a reset. I deserve better and almost every person in my life gives me better than he does. I need to detach more. I feel icky. And just had a number of text exchanges about bill stuff (came up a
I'm open for input.... Confused. I've been pursuing less than ever. And he seems to want more distance than ever.....maybe he is saying more, but it feels like he's moving further away.... I haven't seen H in a couple of days, and have been pretty
Got it! Ok. Makes good sense and is VERY assertive and strong. Stick with that. It's hard to understand why the WAS isn't working on breaking patterns like we are. There are 10,000 reasons but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt when we realize th
Had a pretty uneventful weekend after the rollercoaster ride of Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. We camped again with our friends and had a really good time. W went out with the girls from our circle of friends and celebrated her big birthday. She
I mean... if *I* had accepted that what I got from his was as good as I was going to get maybe I wouldn't have hoped to see that pattern broken. But really, I think what it means is, we'll have to establish new patterns away from home and the kids