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Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Really Random Ramblings by Wonka @ Yesterday at 07:41 PM

Tad, You might want to check out this book by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, Excuses Begone! through either Hay House or at Barnes Noble bookstore. This book will help you with your mental blockages.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: WW/WAW Looking for advice from the pros (Sandi) by Prowl @ Yesterday at 07:40 PM

Called into work today... I've been in bed all day. All the things she said yesterday and all the memories that will never happen again going through my head. I just can't stop crying...
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: New marriage over pt2--help she's filing this week by PigPen @ Yesterday at 07:39 PM

That's a shot to gut Aj. No other way to view it. It's times like this when I pull up Sandi's rules and read the one about not giving up hope no matter how dark things appear. Life's funny, things change. Or they workout for the best and you just do
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Little Cloud of Dust - PigPen & The WAW (3) by asitis @ Yesterday at 07:38 PM

You don't have to give up hope to detach. You give up letting everything she does or doesn't do (or seems to do or seems not to do) not get to you so much and not cause you to react toward her. You still care. You still have hope. But it is tempe
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Step 1: Detach. GAL. STFU. by CaliGuy @ Yesterday at 07:37 PM

I agree ... the fact she is still dipping a pinkie toe in, thinking about the kids speaks volumes .... how many other sitches the WAW is hell bent in love and does not care who knows. Something BE can work on here, he just needs to become the man h
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Can it be another round? by job @ Yesterday at 07:36 PM

Bright, Let me remind you...your h is now the mirror image of the man you once knew. He's going to be doing a lot of "opposites" while in crisis. If he was private pre-crisis, well...he'll be Chatty Cathy now. They do the opposite of jus
Midlife Crisis
Heather, Your STBXH was probably having a wee moment of clarity and was actually thinking about his family. Words are just that words and they do love to draw us into their drama and once we are back in and drop our guard, they hit us again w/a loud
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: The Bird, the Cage, and the open door. by CaliGuy @ Yesterday at 07:31 PM

Originally Posted By: WonkaCali, Even as I read your most recent post, I can feel your impatience seeping through it. Instagram with OM notwithstanding, I get the vibe of "let's just get on with a real M...what are you waiting for?" with
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Time to stop lurking and tell my story... by npy @ Yesterday at 07:29 PM

I have thought about that, but not something I want to pursue at this point. It would be a catalyst to her waking up and realizing the true impact of her actions.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Step 1: Detach. GAL. STFU. by Fogg @ Yesterday at 07:27 PM

I completely agree Cali, exactly what I was thinking. I wasn't suggesting he do it more as showing him what would happen if he did. Even if nothing is going on it would likely cause her to backoff and want a D. She either sees it as controlling be
For Newcomers
And yeh these three weeks I only texted her today and she texts me only to talk about getting her stuff and filing the divorce papers. Nothing I can do
For Newcomers
I bought it . Yeh I googled it seems in California and most states it's her ring once we're married , if she broke off an engagement then it would have been mine. It's a big money hit I'll lose but I just want her back , but honestly she's hurting me
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Rd Movin 8 by rd500 @ Yesterday at 07:23 PM

Hi all. Just a quick post to say W went to doctors today and was diagnosed as depressed She's on Prozac for the next 6 months so I hope that will help her sort her life out. Not sure what it means for an R with me but still. Take care. Rd
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Step 1: Detach. GAL. STFU. by CaliGuy @ Yesterday at 07:21 PM

Originally Posted By: Fogg If you really don't like it and want to put a boundary on it, go ahead. Just understand the consequences from it. Boundaries are about behavior toward you that you will not accept. Example, living in an open M. Basicall
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Step 1: Detach. GAL. STFU. by asitis @ Yesterday at 07:15 PM

BEC, You are detaching at least to the not being reactive, and that is a big accomplishment. The weakening of the feelings comes much slower. Just keep at it, and don't beat yourself up that you aren't there yet. You say your goal is for your wif
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: The Bird, the Cage, and the open door. by Wonka @ Yesterday at 07:14 PM

Cali, Even as I read your most recent post, I can feel your impatience seeping through it. Instagram with OM notwithstanding, I get the vibe of "let's just get on with a real M...what are you waiting for?" with your foot tapping on the fl
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: New marriage over pt2--help she's filing this week by RG2000 @ Yesterday at 07:13 PM

did she buy you the ring? There are laws regarding who gets the ring if one partner fails to fulfill the promise of marriage, look into it, google it. Remember that a divorce is simply a piece of paper (it is hard to accept but its the truth), sh
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Really Random Ramblings by Toots @ Yesterday at 07:11 PM

Hi Tad, I'm a good one for - shall I do this, or that - oh, but then there's this factor and that factor, and Oh I'm not sure. And I get so indecisive I end up doing nothing. I have decided that sometimes you just have to decide - okay, I don't rea
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Wife is moving to her own apartment! by RG2000 @ Yesterday at 07:09 PM

Thank you asitis, yes I was going to be alone for the 4th as well, but the girl offered and I couldn't say no, I was GAL, it felt good but a little strange that I was out with another family than my own, but I didn't let it get to me, I made some gre
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: W is having Affair!! I’m Devastated. Help!? by Angels @ Yesterday at 07:08 PM

Thanks for the quick reply as always Sandi. I value your options and knowledge alot! Im glad you seem to agree some of her actions have indeed been positive. I think MIL confronting has had much more of an effect then me. She is a huge influence in h
For Newcomers
Thanks guys I don't see the dynamics changing she's stuck to her word , has fully detached from me and is going forward quickly with the divorce . I honestly don't see anything that can be done she's made up her mind...
For Newcomers
Asitis yeh I didn't know if I should tell her but thought she should know , she was such a caring wife with a big heart didn't expect such cold responses...:( so yeh when she texts on Friday she doesn't want me home so I'll be cordial and won't be ho
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: New marriage over pt2--help she's filing this week by RG2000 @ Yesterday at 07:02 PM

It amazes me how quickly they want to move things along, but hang in there, I agree with asitis, keep detached and hang in there! The dynamics will change eventually!
For Newcomers
Originally Posted By: Georgia BulldogsOriginally Posted By: Pyrite Not a huge point, but you are assuming that she is on this terrible path. This may be the best thing that has ever happened for her. She will die happy in the arms of this OM, or he
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Wife is moving to her own apartment! by asitis @ Yesterday at 07:00 PM

I wouldn't worry about her running into you out with a woman and her family on a holiday. You weren't doing anything wrong, and it would make sense that you didn't want to sit at home on a day you normally spend with your family. Makes sense right?
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