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Forum   Subject
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Day Two by Lifes Twists @ Yesterday at 08:30 PM

I don't mind the hijack as these are all questions that we all have. When it happens a lot of good information comes out like has happened here. Its kind like a group hug happens where everyone gets a bit of satisfaction out of it.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Letting Go by HeavyD @ Yesterday at 08:27 PM

Jeez guys - I thank you for your positive thoughts but yes I think baby steps in the right direction are occurring. If nothing else, her spew has stopped and she seems to be responding to my non pursuit. Wonka - thank you for idea about getting a
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Separated; wife thinking of walking away by Matt777 @ Yesterday at 08:26 PM

About to pull in for dinner. Oddly nervous for this. Will update later.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Memento by rppfl @ Yesterday at 08:19 PM

Well said Maybell. That set off a big red flag for me, too. We all need someone we are sexually compatible with, it can't be a trade off for other things. And as far as tolerating her shortcomings, well, recipe for disaster. My former boss/priest/fri
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Get married they said .. It'll be fun they said by Wonka @ Yesterday at 08:15 PM

Thank you, Mr. Bowtie, for explaining your POV. This part is where I think differently from you: Originally Posted By: AJMBut to me, forgiveness does require the concept of repentance. i.e. "I recognize I did you wrong, and I am deciding I won
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts New LBS in by PigPen @ Yesterday at 08:15 PM

Hi Everyone, Glad to have found this place, I've been lurking for a bit but will post my story and probably beg for advice. Me - 39 Her - 36 M - 3 years T - 5 (two break ups prior) No Kids Separated Jan 10, 2015 No Divorce talk yet - she needs to c
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Control sited as to why an affair by Bob723 @ Yesterday at 08:13 PM

Hi Stuart, You are very welcome - hang in there. You can do this! Bob
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: In desperate need for help by Bob723 @ Yesterday at 08:10 PM

Originally Posted By: SmothyThank you, Bob723. Last time I spoke to Laurie, my DB coach, she advised I should try to instigate an upbeat conversation. However, there has been some changes since she gave me this advice. H has now removed me from FB a
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Day Two by BrightFuture @ Yesterday at 08:08 PM

Originally Posted By: job BTW, they questions themselves throughout the process...but what they do w/the answers...well, they attempt to shut off the thinking process by continuing on w/the replay activities or finding things to keep their minds focu
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Control sited as to why an affair by Toots @ Yesterday at 08:08 PM

MCS, some of the things you mentioned above remind me of my H. I have always thought he was just easy going. Turns out he was harbouring resentments, but never said and just let them build up. He has also been in an A with an OP who never actually le
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Ripken - LRT with Wayward Wife and Divorce Filing by Closer2 @ Yesterday at 08:08 PM

My W filed first. I discovered the A after she filed. She assured me it was an EA. It was a PA. Talks of marriage, OM being a good step father. Her finally getting a job after years of not working and being a STHM. You can't really do much at this p
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Letting Go by Toots @ Yesterday at 07:56 PM

Hi Heavy, just caught up on your sitch last few days. It does seem to me that things are shifting somewhat and that you have become more powerful within the sitch. Your W does seem to be feeling some regret and reaching out a little, acknowledging so
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Ripken - LRT with Wayward Wife and Divorce Filing by Ripken8 @ Yesterday at 07:51 PM

Also I have been studying the 37 rules daily. How we with a ww who filed for divorce do these really still apply in my sitch? She seems too far gone. I'm second guessing everything and it's hard to believe she en has the slightest hesitation about
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Rebuilding my Castle... by LoisB @ Yesterday at 07:49 PM

Bringing this over from Cal's thread. AJ wrote: Quote:Not carrying anger nor resentment doesn't require forgiveness. It does require acceptance of what happened and a decision to not carry that anger and resentment. But to me, forgiveness does re
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Separated for a month and don't know what to do by ESOED @ Yesterday at 07:39 PM

Okay. I will try that.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Separated for a month and don't know what to do by Matt777 @ Yesterday at 07:33 PM

You can't ask her about her thoughts on the R. She isn't in a position to tell you what you want to hear and anything else will just make you hurt.
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Get married they said .. It'll be fun they said by LoisB @ Yesterday at 07:31 PM

Holy Shid AJ...YOU just made this do-able for me. I CAN DO THIS ^^^ Acceptance + CHOICE...There's what I've needed to hear. I NEED to feel the CHOICE in the matter because I've had too many things done TOO me without my consent. This last step is M
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: In desperate need for help by Smothy @ Yesterday at 07:27 PM

Latest iTunes down load 'Don't want to miss a thing' Aerosmith. Not even his genre of music. I am reading far too much here. I am hurting so much thinking it is for the OW. A message for me? Mind reading and wishful thinking! :-(
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Rebuilding my Castle... by LoisB @ Yesterday at 07:20 PM

Thanks Guys!! Added more info to my Mint.com. Looking at numbers and facing the debt. It's not as bad as some, I know. Still pi$$es the living end outta me. I swear, I think this Rat Bastard coulda screwed his way through an army of skanks and it
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Memento by Maybell @ Yesterday at 07:14 PM

Quote:When I'm feeling this way I find myself thinking things like "there are couples that are able to use porn together and still be functional, there are woman that would indulge my desires if in return I was accepting of their shortcomings&qu
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: hold on! - 9 by PeterV2 @ Yesterday at 07:07 PM

Nothing wrong with continuing to try to put your family back together. I'm trying the same thing - to put my marriage back together. Nothing wrong with the intent. However, it doesn't seem to be working. Looks to me like nothing but cheeseless tunnel
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Ripken - LRT with Wayward Wife and Divorce Filing by Ripken8 @ Yesterday at 07:05 PM

And sandi yes, she did file for divorce and again mention her lawyer today. However, what am I supposed to do? You make it sound like the divorce is enevitable at this point and I just need to accept well be divorced and move on. Winka and others hav
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: MY STORY IS UGLY BUT AT LEAST IM LEARNING by MrBond @ Yesterday at 07:05 PM

The DB coach is right. And in terms of your porn use, I would have your computer blocked if you can't control yourself. Get rid of any magazines or porn items that you have at home so you're not tempted. Again, have you ever had sex addiction therap
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Separated for a month and don't know what to do by ESOED @ Yesterday at 07:01 PM

I think I am going to have to. It is driving me crazy. How to do it is where I am struggling.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Memento by Zues126 @ Yesterday at 06:57 PM

First off, I want to thank all of the posters that have supported me and helped me on my journey. Equally I appreciate the positive comments for those that have said kind things about the progress I've made and that some of my words have been helpfu
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