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I don't mind the hijack as these are all questions that we all have. When it happens a lot of good information comes out like has happened here. Its kind like a group hug happens where everyone gets a bit of satisfaction out of it.
Jeez guys - I thank you for your positive thoughts but yes I think baby steps in the right direction are occurring. If nothing else, her spew has stopped and she seems to be responding to my non pursuit. Wonka - thank you for idea about getting a
Well said Maybell. That set off a big red flag for me, too. We all need someone we are sexually compatible with, it can't be a trade off for other things. And as far as tolerating her shortcomings, well, recipe for disaster. My former boss/priest/fri
Thank you, Mr. Bowtie, for explaining your POV. This part is where I think differently from you: Originally Posted By: AJMBut to me, forgiveness does require the concept of repentance. i.e. "I recognize I did you wrong, and I am deciding I won
Hi Everyone, Glad to have found this place, I've been lurking for a bit but will post my story and probably beg for advice. Me - 39 Her - 36 M - 3 years T - 5 (two break ups prior) No Kids Separated Jan 10, 2015 No Divorce talk yet - she needs to c
Originally Posted By: SmothyThank you, Bob723. Last time I spoke to Laurie, my DB coach, she advised I should try to instigate an upbeat conversation. However, there has been some changes since she gave me this advice. H has now removed me from FB a
Originally Posted By: job BTW, they questions themselves throughout the process...but what they do w/the answers...well, they attempt to shut off the thinking process by continuing on w/the replay activities or finding things to keep their minds focu
MCS, some of the things you mentioned above remind me of my H. I have always thought he was just easy going. Turns out he was harbouring resentments, but never said and just let them build up. He has also been in an A with an OP who never actually le
My W filed first. I discovered the A after she filed. She assured me it was an EA. It was a PA. Talks of marriage, OM being a good step father. Her finally getting a job after years of not working and being a STHM. You can't really do much at this p
Hi Heavy, just caught up on your sitch last few days. It does seem to me that things are shifting somewhat and that you have become more powerful within the sitch. Your W does seem to be feeling some regret and reaching out a little, acknowledging so
Also I have been studying the 37 rules daily. How we with a ww who filed for divorce do these really still apply in my sitch? She seems too far gone. I'm second guessing everything and it's hard to believe she en has the slightest hesitation about
Bringing this over from Cal's thread. AJ wrote: Quote:Not carrying anger nor resentment doesn't require forgiveness. It does require acceptance of what happened and a decision to not carry that anger and resentment. But to me, forgiveness does re
Holy Shid AJ...YOU just made this do-able for me. I CAN DO THIS ^^^ Acceptance + CHOICE...There's what I've needed to hear. I NEED to feel the CHOICE in the matter because I've had too many things done TOO me without my consent. This last step is M
Latest iTunes down load 'Don't want to miss a thing' Aerosmith. Not even his genre of music. I am reading far too much here. I am hurting so much thinking it is for the OW. A message for me? Mind reading and wishful thinking! :-(
Thanks Guys!! Added more info to my Mint.com. Looking at numbers and facing the debt. It's not as bad as some, I know. Still pi$$es the living end outta me. I swear, I think this Rat Bastard coulda screwed his way through an army of skanks and it
Quote:When I'm feeling this way I find myself thinking things like "there are couples that are able to use porn together and still be functional, there are woman that would indulge my desires if in return I was accepting of their shortcomings&qu
Nothing wrong with continuing to try to put your family back together. I'm trying the same thing - to put my marriage back together. Nothing wrong with the intent. However, it doesn't seem to be working. Looks to me like nothing but cheeseless tunnel
And sandi yes, she did file for divorce and again mention her lawyer today. However, what am I supposed to do? You make it sound like the divorce is enevitable at this point and I just need to accept well be divorced and move on. Winka and others hav
The DB coach is right. And in terms of your porn use, I would have your computer blocked if you can't control yourself. Get rid of any magazines or porn items that you have at home so you're not tempted. Again, have you ever had sex addiction therap
First off, I want to thank all of the posters that have supported me and helped me on my journey. Equally I appreciate the positive comments for those that have said kind things about the progress I've made and that some of my words have been helpfu