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For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Have I any hope... (part 2) by ss06 @ Yesterday at 06:12 PM

bashy, but you ARE coping. This isn't easy or fun and all things difficult provide setbacks. One step forward, two steps back. So you had a rough day. You're bound to have rough days. Tomorrow is another day that you can begin anew. You're GAL
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Finally! Some progress! by bashy @ Yesterday at 06:11 PM

So hard going dark for me Thorn. I have D. WAW knows when I don't answer or text she asks about my sick dad or our D knowing I have to respond to that. Thoughts?
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: 1 step forward, 1000 steps back - part 3 by Train @ Yesterday at 06:06 PM

mdu, Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. You're identifying FEAR. No need for that. Identify it. And get rid of it! Fear will hold you back. And it will actually *stand in your way*, even though our controlling-selves try to convince us otherwise. You ca
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Have I any hope... (part 2) by bashy @ Yesterday at 06:04 PM

Well, who am I kidding. Had a great session with counsellor yesterday. Said I was a different person from 3 weeks ago when I started sessions. I asked about what happens when I have bad days.... can't remember what she said to that. Sooo, today has
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: WAW having an A but she denies it #2 by 25yearsmlc @ Yesterday at 06:02 PM

Starsky there's nothing to be insulted by in my post, vis a vis you. Come on, I think we both know that. (But no, I don't want to debate it). I specifically mentioned what I most appreciate that you usually do (always?) which is -you make it cl
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: 1 step forward, 1000 steps back - part 3 by Tarheel @ Yesterday at 05:59 PM

Originally Posted By: mdu'I know he is going to regret it if he pursues D. I have to make sure he knows he is making a mistake. Essentially --- I have to SAVE him.' 'If I let him go too far or too long, he won't come back' 'I have to keep remindi
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Maybell: Chapter Four by bashy @ Yesterday at 05:58 PM

Maybell, you have been so kind to me I need to send you prayers back. Relax, stay calm, cool and collected, and see how things play out. A bit rich coming from me lol but I know u can do it. I'm praying for u.....
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: WAW having an A but she denies it #2 by Train @ Yesterday at 05:57 PM

Starsky, I salute you, sir.
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: WAW having an A but she denies it #2 by ShockedOne @ Yesterday at 05:55 PM

If someone is exposing to shame their cheating spouse, they are exposing for all the wrong reasons.
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: WAW having an A but she denies it #2 by Starsky309 @ Yesterday at 05:55 PM

Originally Posted By: Train(And just FWIW, sho, I took the soft/be-the-cheating-spouse's-BFF stance the FIRST time my H cheated, in 2005. Clearly, it didn't work. Obviously, I'm only a few months into THIS round of piecing. But my H has told me that
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Wreckingball by Mighty @ Yesterday at 05:53 PM

New posting, reading for months... OK, well, I will try to make this as short as I can. I have been reading boards for about 9 months (I really can’t believe it’s been this long!!!!!!) and db as best as I can. Well, I’ve hit a point in which I just
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: WAW having an A but she denies it #2 by Starsky309 @ Yesterday at 05:53 PM

Originally Posted By: ShockedOneLucky? I think Starsky has some of the best advice out there. Why? Because it works. Sho, do not be the doormat. If you want to take the "be the better man" approach, make sure you are doing it for YOU! I w
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: WAW having an A but she denies it #2 by Train @ Yesterday at 05:51 PM

Dang, Starsky. Cross-posted on the very same "result." ^^^ Nifty, eh?
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Maybell: Chapter Four by T0324 @ Yesterday at 05:48 PM

Maybell I agree. Relaxing and trusting what happens. It doesn't meant to give up but to let go of what we know we cannot control. Ultimately what will be will be. I know this is easier said than done but this has been something I've been thinking a
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: WAW having an A but she denies it #2 by Train @ Yesterday at 05:48 PM

(And just FWIW, sho, I took the soft/be-the-cheating-spouse's-BFF stance the FIRST time my H cheated, in 2005. Clearly, it didn't work. Obviously, I'm only a few months into THIS round of piecing. But my H has told me that my "confidence" i
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Wife wants marriage with OM, is there any hope? by 25yearsmlc @ Yesterday at 05:45 PM

Originally Posted By: MrBondI'm thinking you may never understand our posts to you. The fact that you respond so quickly and defensively without really understanding what we are posting to you shows that. None of that stuff you mentioned above matte
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: WAW having an A but she denies it #2 by Starsky309 @ Yesterday at 05:42 PM

Originally Posted By: shodan Once she ends this A, we can go back to repairing our R. BINGO. Physiologically, she's going to be emotionally blocked off to you anyway as long as she is in contact with OM. (Google "PEAs endorphines brain l
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Hi all - "was never in love" by Old Dog @ Yesterday at 05:40 PM

Good to see you back on here Mat. You do seem to be sit down and look rationalise things clearer than some on here, my self included. I have confidence after reading your posts that you'll do all right. Old Dog xx
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: WAW having an A but she denies it #2 by Starsky309 @ Yesterday at 05:37 PM

Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc Starsky says it worked for him (& I believe him) but there are 2 things you must remember: 1) he also worked on himself, big time, AND his wife had seen that and 2) he's not typical. Starsky can speak for
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: WAW having an A but she denies it #2 by Train @ Yesterday at 05:36 PM

Yes, sho. I think SO many of us are blind-sided when As happen. Looking back, we can see that things maybe weren't as great - or steady-going - as we thought. Good ol' hindsight, eh? I think that's why some people say that after an A is over, it c
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Wife wants marriage with OM, is there any hope? by 25yearsmlc @ Yesterday at 05:35 PM

Originally Posted By: mindsinI have three 180s that I've been focusing on. 1. Being thoughtful through my actions. E.G - Putting a little sticky note on her steering wheel, wishing her to have a great day. Writing her a poem (only one so far, which
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: How am I doing this ? by Old Dog @ Yesterday at 05:24 PM

dawgy if you're trying to find something to occpy your mind, try some of these: Resources for feeling better It will get better.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Is there any hope? by MrBond @ Yesterday at 05:15 PM

And so why haven't they heard your story?
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Dealing with WAW Part 3 by pilot @ Yesterday at 05:14 PM

Originally Posted By: claire7I think, Pilot, (and I see some similarities with some other recent male posters) is that sometimes it seems like you have a need to prove yourself to the people in this forum. Like, making sure that we totally understan
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Finally! Some progress! by Thornton @ Yesterday at 05:13 PM

Hi Oad, For me it was going dark. I went pitch dark for exactly 30 days before I heard a peep from WAW. I didnt call, email, Facebook, text her...nothing. She started sending me little texts at around the 30 day mark, 45 day mark, and then the 2
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