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Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: What’s Next? – part 2 by BrightFuture @ Yesterday at 09:54 PM

When I read about his comment about computers, I had so many different scenarios to respond, LOL. Like “Let me know when I can remove your e-mail from the list (he uses a company e-mail).” Or: “Are you hiring a secretary?” Or: “Good for you. I hope y
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Newbie - Husband wants out - tuned me out by artsy @ Yesterday at 09:53 PM

In regards to his family and support/lack of support: don't focus on it. You have no idea what they have been told or what they have told him. He needs to make decisions based on his thoughts, not other people's opinions. You have no control over th
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Crimson....waiting for goodness to happen. by lostinscared @ Yesterday at 09:49 PM

I don't want you for one single second to give up that ultimate vision of having a beautiful family with you. I want you just to believe in God's love for you and see that it might look a little different than what you originally had in mind. But th
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Crimson....waiting for goodness to happen. by Crimson @ Yesterday at 09:37 PM

Thank you for the very thoughtful post, LIS. You clearly put a lot of thought into it and it resonates with me. Letting go and trusting is hard for me....probably for everyone. I feel so much that my happiness resides with my family...and with bei
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: I am moving home - offIcially!! by MrBond @ Yesterday at 09:33 PM

This is the time in your sitch that is going to bring alot of confusion. He's discovered that he can't control you any more with threats, so he's trying to be 'nice'. Be careful though. His moods will swing on a dime. Just continue to stand firm an
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: Loot and lawyers ... by Train @ Yesterday at 09:31 PM

I love how you vets don't "deny me the dignity of my own struggle," but - DANG! - this is HARD to figure out! Quote:When I came to understand the extent of Ms. Wonka's affair with the OW, I very firmly told her that the OW cannot come ne
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: KGirl con't #3 by KGirl @ Yesterday at 09:15 PM

claire, I struggle with the line between insecure/jealous/suspicious overreacting and reasonable concerns. Before BD I always felt like everything I thought was justified. At BD I thought I must have been crazy/overreacting on everything and theref
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: Loot and lawyers ... by Wonka @ Yesterday at 09:13 PM

I'll give you an example of a boundary setting. When I came to understand the extent of Ms. Wonka's affair with the OW, I very firmly told her that the OW cannot come near the house or inside our house. I was quite angry when I said this to Ms. Won
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: I am moving home - offIcially!! by mleigh4 @ Yesterday at 09:12 PM

I am confused by how nice my H is being. I have heard of the "nice" MLC'ers, so maybe it is just that? My H has never responded to my telling him I am moving home next month, which is fine I guess. I keep expecting some kind of reaction.
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: she is not OW - just my BFF - NOT! by scooby @ Yesterday at 09:11 PM

Well I survived most of another day! Hoping all is well with everyone! On my other post there is no way to reply to posts - what does that mean?
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: Loot and lawyers ... by Wonka @ Yesterday at 09:07 PM

Train, The draft is a good start. I'd re-work it and use less "I"s. And don't weaken it with "of course" or use other hedging statements. You'll need to state your boundaries from a position of power and courage. One last thi
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: KGirl con't #3 by claire7 @ Yesterday at 09:04 PM

^^^ wow. My H has a few close (single, of course) female friends, one of whom had an affair with a married man. Yep, I was insecure and jealous and suspicious. And he was offended and defensive and didn't get it AT. ALL. I thought I was lame-o an
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Upwards - Moving Fowards, Tiny Positive Steps by hope456 @ Yesterday at 08:55 PM

I've been there...after a pattern of positive interactions like you've had. It's hard to stay strong and confident and put together all the time when going through something so tough. Don't beat yourself up too much. ((((Upwards))))
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: She moved home but still in love with OM! by MrBond @ Yesterday at 08:54 PM

"She is cake eating." That may be true, but certainly not abusive.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: She moved home but still in love with OM! by HollyAnn @ Yesterday at 08:51 PM

She is cake eating.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: KGirl con't #3 by KGirl @ Yesterday at 08:46 PM

I ended up with those same conclusions. It's really only to make me feel better since it's not enforceable. He has more to lose from it than I do (because not paying the mortgage in full will hurt him as well as me, whereas the equity issue can only
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: separated filed walking on II by bluesgal @ Yesterday at 08:41 PM

Keep your head up Paul-you are strong!
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Newbie - Husband wants out - tuned me out by hope76 @ Yesterday at 08:41 PM

So tonight I noticed that when I got home from the gym he closed up shop and came in the house. I cooked dinner and we had some pleasant business conversations. I just noticed that he wasnt as 'cold' as he has been. He is currently at the counte
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: I think I belong here #3 by Matt165 @ Yesterday at 08:36 PM

I'm with you Livenow! How can they say they "love" you but not the right "kind" of love? How can they really think they "never" loved you really, after 20 years of marriage and having 2 kids together (on purpose). Don't
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: Loot and lawyers ... by Train @ Yesterday at 08:36 PM

The more I'm thinking about it, the more I'm thinking I'll just stick to almost precisely what Starsky had stated. I have already told H that I will not live in an open marriage; he can't have me *and* OW. So no need to rehash that. I've also alread
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: She moved home but still in love with OM! by MrBond @ Yesterday at 08:01 PM

"She is being extremely disrespectful by carrying on the way she is and rubbing his nose in her A; under the roof of the marital home. And that IS abusive." That's funny. It's being disrespectful, but not abusive. Comments like that are no
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: I think I belong here #3 by LiveNow @ Yesterday at 07:59 PM

Originally Posted By: praying_in_GAHe said he just has no desire to be intimate with me. He lost his love for me and his desire for me. I told him I feel like that has something to do with the having all of those new girls as school and he agreed it
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: Loot and lawyers ... by Wonka @ Yesterday at 07:59 PM

Train, KISS: Keep It Short and Simple Okay...what would be your boundaries and how would you present it to H?
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Crimson....waiting for goodness to happen. by lostinscared @ Yesterday at 07:45 PM

I find it a bit ironic that I have to go outside the scriptures to adequately explain some of this, but this is one of the best pictures I can paint: A farmer and his son had a beloved stallion who helped the family earn a living. One day, the horse
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Wife in MLC and getting ready to go! by Matt165 @ Yesterday at 07:45 PM

Thanks T! Lots of homework. I've seen AmyC's and that was very eye opening! Will be busy.
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