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Forum   Subject
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Finding my way - part 2 by Meghan @ Today at 07:58 AM

Every morning I wake up with tightness in my chest, panicking a bit. Every morning I lie in bed blaming myself and wondering what I can do to fix things. It feels awful, and I don't know how to stop it.
Midlife Crisis
You know what guys? I have a question. We work so damn hard and moving forward, growing and dealing this insane hand that was literally dumped in our laps by our MLCer. Yet we remember the good times before they went MLC and we still mourn it and y
Midlife Crisis
WEll.... Had yet another argument with boyfriend. You know what I really think? And this is because I've learned so much from these boards and MLC, that when he starts being a jerk, I can detach and really be objective! I think my boyfriend really
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: 1 step forward, 1000 steps back - part 3 by Barrybran @ Today at 07:40 AM

Originally Posted By: mduBut I'm not sure how to handle? Any thoughts? Take that timeline, screw it up, throw it out the window and if it comes back, burn it. One thing I've learned is that there is no timeline. Sure, it would be fantastic if everyth
Surviving the Big D
Jump to new posts Re: Taking a break from Retirement by SunFunOne @ Today at 07:37 AM

Thanks everyone. daybreak - nice for you to stop by. I've posted my cottages on FB & now all 3 cottages are booked for the first week of August. I've had a lot of interest & dates are bring asked about. Should have some more firmed up bookin
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Wife STILL in MLC but has now left #1 by Kimmerz @ Today at 07:35 AM

Hi Matt, I was just reading your post here. I feel for you because I understand it all too much! I guess the one thing I've noticed now 3 years post Bomb drop, separation, divorce and now EX getting re married, is that it takes a long time for our
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Finally found DB...New here by dawgy @ Today at 07:33 AM

Hey MLP I agree with you that setting that boundary is terrifing . I am doing the same on the advice of a counsellor and several resourses . To let the affair run its course , they always do apparently but they take time . My thought is if I can wait
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts 1 step forward, 1000 steps back - part 3 by mdu @ Today at 07:00 AM

Feeling terribly hopeless about things. We have so much working against us now with OW in the office, my various f ups, no opportunities to see each other since the kids don't have any sports right now. I reread my prior posts and previously we con
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts A is over, now what? by Heart14 @ Today at 06:50 AM

Previous thread in Newcomers: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...874#Post2470874 A little background since I'm new to this section. The last 6 months have been a complete rollercoaster ride. My H began acting very distant and stopped confid
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Maybell: Chapter Four by Maybell @ Today at 06:28 AM

I sent him an email this morning saying "Just so you know, I still want my space for a while too. But I would like us to be friendlier and more comfortable with each other, if that works for you too. I don't want to be so awkward anymore."
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Finally found DB...New here by MLP @ Today at 05:48 AM

KGirl - You are very wise. Are you sure you're only 28? The sexy pics were not things that made me uncomfortable before, but before I had never felt threatened by another woman. I think it's pretty normal for men to admire other women and thei
For Newcomers
What I did wrong in the relationship (in order of importance to her, as she has told me): 1. Five years of infidelity. 2. No support, respect, appreciation. Rarely stood up for her. Didn't feel like I had her back. 3. Lack of communication. Inabilit
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: "Speak Softly": The Amoeba Whisperer! by beatrice @ Today at 04:04 AM

GG MLCers are zero fun to be around. And yes, many of them resent our having fun, when they are supposed to be having fun. Some of them also want to hurt us (not all of them, but there is that element) On one level they do not want us around, a
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Have I any hope... (part 2) by bashy @ Today at 03:55 AM

Thanks Maybell. Much appreciated. WAW rang a few times yesterday to see how I was. Was nice of her. After initial row about OM we had a pleasant chat. She said she felt huge weight off shoulders knowing that I now no OM is real plus his name. That s
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Trying Again by topgunmb @ Today at 03:33 AM

So, a random moment tonight that gave me reason to pause and think. Around the end of last year/beginning of this year, I made the conscious decision to be more positive in the way I spoke about my W with others. I had so focused on everything that
For Newcomers
Thanks Riley, I understand the legal reasons I can't move out long-term. That is why I'm going to see if she'll agree to trade off time in the house. I have read Sandi's list...and I am trying to do those things. It's hard because I can't get away fr
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Dealing with WAW Part 3 by 25yearsmlc @ Today at 03:31 AM

Originally Posted By: pilotThanks for the thoughtful and insightful reply sandi. Sorry to hear you lost your long reply, but thank you for taking the time to rewrite one. I think I got the initial part of what not to do once we separated. It is th
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Eyes on the prize... by Georgiabelle @ Today at 03:24 AM

You are all of those things, Artsy! You are beautiful, kind, etcetera and I do think your h wants you to be happy even if he doesn't know what *that* is :-) I cannot relate to that in my current sitch. I get nothing like that...however, I wonder if
For Newcomers
Joe, For legal reasons, do NOT leave the house for an extended period of time. You need to follow Sandi's list right now, they are not rock solid rules so they should be treated like guidelines. Rules I can think of right now that would allow is: 1
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Dealing with WAW Part 3 by 25yearsmlc @ Today at 02:44 AM

Originally Posted By: pilotQuote: A boundary might be me saying "I only listen to someone calmly talking to me" so when someone yells at me, I leave the area. Putting a demand on them is me telling them they cannot yell at me; they MUST s
For Newcomers
I'm trying to keep my cool. She corners me and then I react. It gets loud sometimes. I'm hoping she will agree to trade off nights in the house. I can't hurt anything to do that at this point...and it might be easier on the kids to be in their home e
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Is DB Worth It? Part 3 by claire7 @ Today at 02:40 AM

You're totally right. Shoot. Although I did just recently send him a message saying that when things are work related, we will both do our best to help out. (I would not have offered to help if it was strictly a social thing. It is a work-related
For Newcomers
Yea, you def do not want to leave the house, but it does not look like she will leave either. And I know it is extremely hard to detach while you are in the same house. I had to S to get my sanity back. Take a short vacation to your friends place,
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: H's MLC #3 by Matt165 @ Today at 02:22 AM

Hi 2B, I really like what AJ said. It makes a lot of sense to me for sure. Another way of looking at it is it may not be a coincidence that the more detached YOU become, the LESS H likes it. The less you pursue, the more he is drawn back to you and t
For Newcomers
I know that. I try to focus on that. I'm in panic mode and can't get my crap straight. I had a friend offer me to come stay w/ them for a bit, but I can't just "move out." My hope is that I can get my W to crash w/ a friend some so maybe we
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