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Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: switching threads, switching gears..... by Ggrass @ 6 minutes 58 seconds ago

Yeah, mine too I suspect. He most certainly did not say not true. So mediation was a dead flop! No out come. More round and round. If you can work out my ramble on my thread.
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: switching threads, switching gears..... by watto14 @ 11 minutes 38 seconds ago

No gg bleach is not fun at all! thankfully the blisters have come down today. yes definitely watching actions, he seems to be making more of an effort, but just watching right now, and of ccourse he's still with the ow...
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Maybell IX by claire7 @ 31 minutes 26 seconds ago

Or... (more optimistically), is that something that a MC could help us understand about each other and help us each move a tiny bit closer to the other? Like, if my H had seen my "ignoring" him as refueling, and came over to bring me a g
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Maybell IX by claire7 @ 35 minutes 7 seconds ago

This conversation about introvertedness and its effects on a R is really interesting to me. In my case, I'm the introvert. I'm not "antisocial", but I most definitely need alone time to recharge. My job as an educator requires me to be &
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: How to Proceed by getrite @ 37 minutes 49 seconds ago

That has already started. Truth is, I'm not so sure that I want to work it out at this moment. I feel so good about me right now. This whole thing has made me see her character and I don't like it. I'm tired of being beat down.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: The gift of time . . . by Elsa @ 47 minutes 17 seconds ago

Well, I wasn't necessarily thinking of it in terms of changing H's behavior, but possibly my own -- how I can I stop the conversation before H feels like he needs to withdraw? -- but you're right, that's a big topic to tackle for the first session.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Maybell IX by Elsa @ 49 minutes 22 seconds ago

I think it's good that you're considering the positives that you may have overlooked before. I find that it's easy to dwell on the negatives but when I make a conscious effort to look for positives, I almost always find some (and I feel better in the
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Doing all right by job @ 49 minutes 38 seconds ago

Bright, Bea's post is spot on. It's understandable that you would be hurt and disappointed that your son wasn't invited, but like Bea pointed out, your son is old enough to speak to your h about this. Allow him to make the decision as to whether or
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Maybell IX by Maybell @ Today at 06:03 AM

Thanks, Ggrass. There was. I don't know what I was hoping for. Partly the kids just wore me out. The wine place I went to is really cool and exactly the sort of thing I would have expected him to be excited about a few years ago. But he just picked
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Maybell IX by Ggrass @ Today at 05:51 AM

Oh maybell, that tough. There was some good. Not that I'm any version of a judge. None.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: This is terrifying - I hope you understand by Maybell @ Today at 05:32 AM

Nitty, that was awesome. I'm putting that all around me for inspiration. Shakespr, I hear you. But Nitty is right on.
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Maybell IX by Maybell @ Today at 05:26 AM

Maybe I overreacted. Maybe I failed to see the good points. He was nice to me. He was helpful. He was more supportive of me with the kids than he was before. He didn't help with the dishes but he did spend time with the boys in the yard. He didn't
Midlife Crisis
Shining you have asked one of the big questions. UR gave you fabulous and insightful advice. What you are asking is still a 'fixer' question. The MLCer upbringing, one way or another, failed to give our spouses or ex spouses, the flexibility and r
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: switching threads, switching gears..... by Ggrass @ Today at 04:43 AM

Ouch bleach ain't fun! Maybe he's easing his guilty feelings. Just watch his actions. Nothing you hear right?
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: May your eyeliner, by Ggrass @ Today at 04:29 AM

Well I wasn't true to you can't cry in mascara! He however laughed and joked played the confused victim. Wanted to play straight swaps. Mmmm well when I said come up with options, he said I have none I have no idea what the agenda was. He talked o
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: Doing all right by beatrice @ Today at 04:19 AM

Bright - I do understand how you feel, but just two points (not quite a 2 x 4) The first is, how does your son feel about it? and the second - if you look at 'pursuer' behaviour, this is typical - you are fighting his battle and feeling hurt on his
Midlife Crisis
Jump to new posts Re: The Waiting One (and tired of it) by Atsbaby @ Today at 04:06 AM

Son of a biscuit! Clark just came over, woke me up to have sex! I'm not sure how to approach this. He said he will deny that we had sex. (I wasn't fully awake, but I think I'm going to regret this one). I'm betting he was with ow, feels guilty, and
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: The gift of time . . . by ganb8te @ Today at 03:43 AM

I second Joe's comment. Elsa, you and I both know that finding a way for our H to not shut down and withdraw would be MASSIVE. Easy does it for this first meeting with the MC. Preventing stonewalling can be a longer term goal for us. Good luck. I'm s
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Living with WAW who will not leave by Casey @ Today at 03:38 AM

Talked with W's GF today; she said that the landlord was asking for an answer on whether or not she takes the apartment. I guess this is finally starting to get real for W. GF said W asked her for advice on what to do because she is so confused with
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Really hurting by amacin @ Today at 02:39 AM

So H stopped by unannounced today and got really mad when he saw that our neighbour was over watching a movie. He refused to even hug our daughter because she was sitting with the neighbour. (The neighbour is male and JUST a friend)(and he's been our
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Old dog seeks new trick 3 by Old Dog @ Today at 02:04 AM

Thanks u-turn. I find my spirits are up and down like a ... rollercoaster. Has anyone used this analogy before? :-) Gradually pulling up that climb again.
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Jump to new posts Re: switching threads, switching gears..... by watto14 @ Today at 01:57 AM

Have had a couple of rough days, fatigue is kicking in. The twins broke the lock on the cleaning products cupboard last night and decided to clean the toilet, one of the twins ended up with bleach burns on his bottom, after a cool bath and a phone ca
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Me 17 months on - detached and dating by hotwheelsaust @ Today at 01:55 AM

Thanks Wonka, you wrote exactly how it is. It is great to start and carve a new life, making changes to me and my house along the way. It is wonderful, really wonderful. There are moments that I miss the marriage, the routine, the family unit. I re
For Newcomers
Jump to new posts Re: Inside my chrysalis by Old Dog @ Today at 01:45 AM

Originally Posted By: Ss06 Touche! I could totally have done that! Sheesh. How do I not see that in the moment?! Originally Posted By: Joe1981 I challenge you to notice 3 positive things about him each time you see him. And at least one every ti
Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
Some very interesting developments in my sitch! Yesterday, I had some people over for a labor day BBQ. Had a blast but drank WAY too much. At the end of the evening I texted H to find out when he was coming over in the AM (today is D4’s first day
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