just looking for others that are going through divorce or recently divorced. mine will be final in 30 days. just wanting to hear how others are doing. feeling alone with this right now.
Not much I can add, other than that my situation is practically a mirror of yours.
And many others. See how many “fill in the blanks” similarities there are in Jack Three Beans story reposted by AmyC. They both had a lot of experience and insights to share and well worth your time to read.
Originally Posted by AmyC
Jack's Story
Once upon a time, Jack was complacent in his marriage and home life. He did the bare minimum, as did his wife. As parents they were “there" but not really there for their two wonderful boys. Jack lost himself from the troubles, cares and boredom of the world in video games. Jack's wife lost herself in the attention of Jack's friend.
That was a year and a half ago, more or less. My story is much like anyone else's. We could make a form and leave blank spaces here for all of the new people.
A year plus into this I can identify here now. It is uncomfortable. Where did she go?
Originally Posted by AmyC
Now Jack, doesn't know if he wants her in his life. The things that he used to be able to swallow stick in his throat. He sometimes see the friend he used to have, but mostly it is just this person sitting across from him, this stranger who looks like someone he used to know.
Even when you may feel like you have nothing to say, simply thank you for stopping by. For me, when we do this it says someone understands, someone cares, you are not alone. I started in Lamentations, feeling alone, feeling like my faults were the sum of things, and feeling like OM's power loomed large.
Hey G....
Been keeping up a bit with your sitch...
I'm not here much anymore, although I do stop by occasionally to read.
Anytime my old friend's names are dropped, I do perk up a bit and pay attention to what's being said and interpreted.
I think if you were to read any situation from the past, you will find so many similarities in them.
So much of MLC is textbook, and so many of the stories resonate when you are in the heat of the battle.
I do see some things though, within you, that resemble Jack. The understanding, the softness, some of the interactions.
He came into DB softly, yet wielding a big stick. He owned his faults and acted on them to change and become a better version of himself. He was very vocal about his role in the breakdown of his marriage.
Most of his threads have been purged by now, which is a shame. He did have a way of telling his story.
He was also a walkaway, from his first marriage. And I think a lot of that allowed him to find empathy in his situation.
To him, the confusion that the WAS displays is the difference in those two paths.
Jack was also the first person that would tell you that there were people here, posters, that were more deserved of reconciliation of their marriage, yet he was lucky. Lucky that his wife's MLC was shorter than others, and he was able to outlast it.
And he DBed with the best of them, right up to the point where he was done....
AmyC was a fireball of MLC, a hailstorm within herself. She was the one in MLC that destroyed her marriage, and her husband DBed her without knowing what that meant, and when she hit her rock bottom, she tried to regain what had been lost, up until she realized that she was not going to sell her soul, just to be married to her husband....
Her reflection on that, and her openness of what MLC looked like was what made her special.
Jack would have been a fan of you though....
Encouraging you to burn every ounce of fuel to outlast her MLC, to find a way through this while causing minimal damage. To find one more day within yourself. He would ask if she was worth it, the waiting for her to figure herself out before a bell was rung that could not be un-rung..
He would tell you that your spouse carried your marriage at times on her back, and that maybe it's just your time to carry the marriage for while.
Originally Posted by J3B
"Today is not the day I quit, maybe I will tomorrow, but let's see what tomorrow brings"
He would also tell you to use your anger as a shield, not as a sword with your interactions....
And that there is nothing that you can say or do to change this, yet everything that you say or do will change this....
LOL, yea....when that makes sense, you will be on your way....
For me ?
I liken your story to another friend here.... TSqaured2
