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For Newcomers

Re: Divorce Busting & Divorce Settlement by LeftCoastLBH @ 23 seconds ago

Thank you for the reassurance I'm doing the right thing. I've repeatedly told my lawyer I don't want to put the screws to her, I just wants what's fair, but the STBX has been nothing but unreasonable since almost the BD. So it goes.

For Newcomers

Re: Wife said she was done! House sold, Moving forward by Maritimer @ 4 minutes 40 seconds ago

I moved into my own apartment on the weekend. Wife & kids went north for the weekend so I took advantage of them not being there to move. It would have been too hard for me to see my kids watching daddy move out. I never heard from them since S

For Newcomers

Re: No longer treading water, must either sink or swim by PatientMan @ 6 minutes 24 seconds ago

Are you giving her the letter because you think she honestly needs to read it or because you think you need to deliver it? If it isn't the former, DO NOT send it. -PM

Divorced, But Not Done

Re: Divorced-not done-But wondering ? by waitingformagic @ 12 minutes 49 seconds ago

JJAC... don't do it. Sorry, its not what you want to hear.

Midlife Crisis

Re: Behind Blue Eyes... by wishing, hoping @ 17 minutes 56 seconds ago

Great day in the morning. Ever have one of those days where you want to throw a brick through a plate glass window? Oh yes. Driving to work, I notice my tire is low. Great. Sigh. It's times like this Ben g married should come in handy!! Oh well, ro

Divorced, But Not Done

Re: Divorced-not done-But wondering ? by JJAC2005 @ 31 minutes 16 seconds ago

Ok, I just read/reread Sandi's list of dos and don'ts.... So, I only can realistically do this in my heart....this bunch will have to go to the girls at work....:) Damn it's tough learning to have to live and love detached

Midlife Crisis

Re: Slowing to a Crawl by Portia @ 32 minutes 35 seconds ago

Hi Linda! Always nice to have someone stop by! Originally Posted By: LindaMHaving no contact must be harder in some ways and easier in some ways than trying to remain detached while living in the same house as your MLCer. Are you able to block him

Midlife Crisis

Re: A Feral Cat, Puzzling by reachingHigher @ 32 minutes 57 seconds ago

One more thing, T^2, you were clear with me last fall to give the message to my H it won't be "the same, only D". My L said the same thing. He frowned at me when I suggested my H could still have visitation at the house. Would you norm

For Newcomers

Re: Divorce Busting & Divorce Settlement by gabbysmom23 @ 33 minutes 18 seconds ago

This is how divorce lawyers make their money. They go for the big guns on the spouse that doesn't want the divorce or just wants it over with. I absolutely DO NOT recommend giving her what she wants for the sake of reconciliation. This is your fut

Midlife Crisis

Re: A Feral Cat, Puzzling by waitingformagic @ 33 minutes 52 seconds ago

ohhhh T^2 ..... these WAS are sooo confusing. So sorry, ((HUGS)), is all I have!

Surviving the Big D

Re: What are you getting/looking for in dates? by gabbysmom23 @ 37 minutes 40 seconds ago

I'm definitely do not need daily contact. But I need my contact to be clear. I really don't feel like sitting there wondering IF there will be a next date. I also most definitely expect contact the day after a date. I need some clarity these days

Midlife Crisis

Re: A Feral Cat, Puzzling by snodderly @ 38 minutes 58 seconds ago

T, I am so sorry to come here and read your posting. Do what you need to do for you, not as a wake up call for her. Someone will need to sit down w/her and advise her that things are going to drastically change if a divorce should go through, i.e.,

Midlife Crisis

Re: A Feral Cat, Puzzling by reachingHigher @ 44 minutes 51 seconds ago

Oh, T^2! No 2X4's from me! I'm so sorry about this new and painful revelation! I too clearly remember the back-and-forth thing from last fall! H's continued insistence upon D (signing over cars, having documents drawn, financial accounts....ev

For Newcomers

Re: Becoming Patient Man by PatientMan @ 49 minutes 13 seconds ago

Thank you for the support. Just struggling right now more than I have in a while (on the inside, nothing outside). I'm sure it's just cyclical. -PM

For Newcomers

Re: Divorce Busting & Divorce Settlement by danielf @ 52 minutes 13 seconds ago

I hope I'm not stealing this, but I need some guidance on this as well. State law says 30% of net for child support for 3 kids. We are splitting custody, and that translates in places I've read to 15% of each income, the difference being paid from hi

For Newcomers

Re: New to this ... by PatientMan @ 53 minutes 34 seconds ago

Originally Posted By: AnotherStanderOriginally Posted By: PatientManWell now you got me all excited. What's the last resort after the LRT? Well there's letting go and then there's letting go. Some people say they are letting go, but they are reall

For Newcomers

Re: Unlearning conflict avoidance 4 by sandi2 @ 57 minutes 3 seconds ago

Quote:This guy is extremely intelligent and interesting. He's warm, open, fun, and thoroughly engaging in social situations. I could go on. I can see why his very demanding W picked him. Thanks for telling us. Maybe it helped to be around people wh

For Newcomers

Re: Lost and confused part3 by lostforever @ Today at 11:38 AM

Im trying my best to not contact WAW but really want to. Just to keep line open . but i do not know what to do just yet. So I will wait till tomorrow. I guess I just feel lonely and just want to be and do things with her. But i guess now is not the

For Newcomers

Re: Still...mana mana, doo doo doo doo doo! Part 3 by Tallula @ Today at 11:37 AM

Thanks everyone!! It feels good to be where I am. After reading Kate's thread, I really started pondering what has been the greatest "shift" that has allowed me to find peace. I believe it is that I have no expecations. I don't do thing

For Newcomers

Re: New to this ... by PatientMan @ Today at 11:37 AM

Originally Posted By: steveh27Bad weekend - this is going nowhere. A friend mentioned to me that the W had friend-ed the OM on FB on 5/6, the day after her admitting EA to me ... and also "liked" the restaurant he works at a couple days ago

For Newcomers

Re: Trying to stay in it, keeps getting harder. #3 by Tallula @ Today at 11:31 AM

Tiny heartbeats...woo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So exciting!! You are going to have ups and downs. Expect them. There were days long stretches that I was just MAD I was pregnant. Not happy about having a baby...AT ALL! At first I beat myself up. "

For Newcomers

Re: Standoff is over by PatientMan @ Today at 11:29 AM

I met with my OM twice post BD (I knew him prior to that). I honestly don't know how you haven't approached your OM by now, but the other people's advice is probably good so I won't offer anything contradictory. My encounters were just to set the r

Midlife Crisis

Re: A Feral Cat, Puzzling by TSquared2 @ Today at 11:28 AM

Well folks, things have changed... Seems like she was making escape plans and biding her time. Can't go into the details, but what I glanced at was pretty clear, and very recent, very sneaky, and in her "mlc" handwriting style. I don't wa

For Newcomers

Re: Slowly getting there by PatientMan @ Today at 11:22 AM

Originally Posted By: jp787 Funny just before I came here just now I was trying to figure out how to see my strengths and talents. Guess what? Ha yup that's right I don't see any. That's bull [crap] and you know it. Set some time aside and start l

For Newcomers

Re: Keep on, keeping on! by reb9597 @ Today at 11:16 AM

labug, why aren't I done? The only thing that's hitting the uncomfortable meter is that I have a little anger in my decision. I am clearly reacting to hurt and frustration and would like to clear away anger and bitterness in my heart. I was doing m

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