My H definately piecing but me...

[74Kim]

I am very much looking forward to what is to come for us. I know I cant get too excited, but H is actually willing and looking forward to seeing a Dr.

His brother gave him some support and H started acting great (for the moment). He went to see the Dr with me and liked her and agreed to continue to go by himself. YEAH!
He has been totally acting like he did after he told me about the A. Actually trying to work it out. I can see hope in his eyes and that is so reassuring. He is strong and the strength that I have for us will pull us through this. I do have strong hope and faith again. I guess I never lost it, but it faded awhile. I know its a long haul, but I know we are gonna make it.

Although I am sure next week I'll be crying again. But I am happy for the moment!
Kim

[cat03]

on the book I read about depression it does say that the more contact w/family and friends the person has the better, that way they dont' isolate themselves and think they are alone in this world.

BTDT, hang in there Kim, hope the dr makes a difference.

[74Kim]

I am at a dead end. I do not know where to go from here. I havent given up, I just am lost. I feel numb from all the disappointment. We just keep going around in circles. Not making any progress. He was gone all day Friday for no apparent reason. I can not continue to be walked on. Everyting I have done and said has been done before. It is falling on deaf ears.

I am at a fork in the road. The way I see it I have 2 options.
The first being, I go back to work, putting 4 of my babies in daycare. I would completely hate it.
The second, Contine living with a man that is selfish and can not do anything for us except provide a paycheck and hope one day he will come around. I will hate that too.

So which life would be worse?

Kim

[kasiopeia]

Kim,
It sounds like you are having a bad day.The roller coaster effect is here.It is wierd ,but my H had days that he seemed to not care also,even though he said " i'll do anything if you stay and work on M".I don't know how to explain those moods,one day i had a mood, then he would have one,then things would be good for awhile.This is why it is so difficult.
-I always thought to myself this is why GOD,speaks so against adultery in the Bible,he knows the terrible effects it causes.Then i would pick myself back up and remember " Jesus tells us to forgive".
-Only you know what you feel and what you will put up with.Situations are different for us all.I'm still praying for you,K

[74Kim]

I have to honestly say that I have forgiven him for he act of adultry. I do truely believe that the A is over. But it is his actions now that are killing me. I think I may read more in the MLC and the infedility forum, because I do believe that he falls in those categories.

Kim

[always_14]

Kim...God Bless you if he DOES fall into the MLC categories....it's a wild ride!!!

Read the resources thread first...all of it. Some are testimony from LBS's, some from actual MLCers (former)....they really help a lot.

When I first joined these boards, I thought that mine was a case of infidelity and marital troubles that I could fix. When it continued to get crazier...I popped over to the MLC thread and almost wept at what I read....it described my H to the T. It helped so much just knowing that this was something real and others experienced....

So, take a read. He may not be MLC, but at least you are educating yourself.

[74Kim]

A-14-

Thanks for the tip. I have started reading the resources and he does fit the mold. so for the time being I am heading over that way.

Kim

[cat03]

Hugs kim, I too didnt' realize until the whole ordeal was over that my H was in a MLC. Keeping you in my prayers, not that this sitch is one he didn't choose, but being the sole provider for the whole family is prob making him want to wander into la-la land.

[74Kim]

You are correct. I know that the provider thing is the brunt of the problems. He is in a job that is failing and he cant get out of it because it pays the bills plus extras. The stress it causes is overwhelming. Plus he has nothing to fall back on. He is waiting on this railroad job but who knows if it will happen. If it does happen I think he will have an easier time to pull out of this. Not that it will be easy but a little better.

[cat03]

btdt, each time my H gets a job both of us always think "this one is so much better than the other one" and it just turns out to be awful. I do credit my H's new job/training with him pulling from depression and MLC.