Romeo & Juliet see me as the final roadblock to their happiness. <Insert nasty gagging sound here. > So, I'll get out of the way of their "happiness". But I'll be damned if the kids & I are going to suffer because he doesn't pay the rent.
you crack me up! Okay, he's lying cheating and insane. He's not playgni by any any any fair rules. Do not try to reason with him. Do not show him the cards in your hand. He is only looking out for himself. He will manipulate this anyway he can to get the most. I truly believe he's lying about giving you any money at all. Sincerely. Talk to a lawyer before you move out. I think he needs to move out. I think you have a right to that house. You are the one living there with his 3 kids. He has another place. Why did he come back? He must have spoken to a lawyer who told him too. Seriousely. He's jsut tricking you. He's such a snake. I can't stand this man. I have no, 000000 that's 00000 respect for him. He cares only about himself and he is insane. Please talk to a lawyer, get him out, get as much money as you can and support.
He is so good at lying. He has absolutely no problem doing so. He is only looking out for numero uno.
I can't wait for you to meet someone new. Your life is going to be soooo much better. You're going to look back on him and wonder what you ever saw in him.
Honey, he's fcuking crazy. And I'm so sorry about that. And for your kids. Getting them away from the crazy man in the house will do them a world of good, but please tell me again why you can't go live with your family? Why incur this debt that you cannot pay and surely he will not help with, because he is absolutely batsh!t? Please call in all your favors and get some financial help or stay with relatives for a short period. Get OUT of this man's way while he heads pell-mell into self-distruction.
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Is 43:18-19
If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab 2:3
NM, I typed out a very short post to you after catching up on your sitch yesterday. I deleted it, but I will retype it. Won't take me that long...
FU-K HIM!
There. That about sums it up, and just so you don't misunderstand, that is not advice for you, lol.
Seriously NM, I hate that he's being this way but commend you for taking the high road. Eventually it will pay off for you and your kids that you are not stooping to his level of petty, childish behavior. I know it's hard, but please stay strong and realize that no matter what, you have a place here, and people that really care about you to lean on. Do it whenever necessary.
PLEASE listen to Ellie and see a lawyer before you move out -- you may be giving up more than you know by moving out.
Now, quit caving into him -- he is toxic right now, just stay away from his bed. And, document the things he is doing. He should not be having the kids lie for him -- this is a no brainer that may be important if custody becomes an issue.
Finally, try to step out of the victim role. YOU betrayed YOURSELF again by sleeping with him when you knew he was confused and not committed to you. It was a risk you took that didn't pay off. That hurts, but it was your choice. It doesn't sound like any more of those risks are worth taking right now. Now is a time to make sure that you and your kids will be OK. He has no interest in doing this. He will try to get away with as little as possible. And, in my experience, he will keep finding ways to reduce this "little" to "less" as time goes on.
I agree with Ellie that he probably moved back in so he could not be accused of abandonment. He is trying to position himself well for court. You should do the same.
Again, DON'T MOVE OUT without talking to a lawyer. If you have no money, contact a women's center, check out the many resources available through google, etc...
Figure out your rights and don't let SO bully you into giving them up.
If he won't move into the other room, you move there. The important thing is to put some distance there, forget about trying to be "the winner" in that battle.
WL; BI43; and GH all say FU SO... Ellie always with wise words to protect one's self... ..and OT comes out of the closet! I mean, nursery.
Thanks all of you for your input and thoughts. It means a lot to me.
Busy day today. D7 - back to school, 3rd grade! Yeah. Even better, D3's 1st day of pre-school. She loved it! And, it's a Christian Academy. I thoroughly expect her to come home one day and point out to her father exactly which commandments he's breaking! LOL
And, I really don't feel like talking about SO today. Simply cut & paste yesterday's interactions here, as it's pretty much more of the same. Yelling one minute; almost normal the next. Waking me up when he got home last night. Why, you may ask? To tell me how early he got home; then to start asking questions about moving. I feigned deep sleep. That worked.
I didn't really have to deal with him too much today. Had a doctor appt (normal thing, no worries), so I was gone most of the day while he watched D1 and picked up D3 (let him get used to it). He's just left for a meeting with a client and won't be back until 8-9.
Tomorrow, I'll get back on the phone to lawyers as the one's I called yesterday have not called back. None of them. Nice. Legal Aid won't help me - they "don't do Family Court issues" in my county, so they referred me to the Public Defenders office -- who may or may not be able to help, according to their case loads. The system is something, I'll tell you. I feel bad for people who don't have the tenacity (like moi) to get the answers they need.
I will also look into calling the NY hospital (damn - I was THERE today! why didn't I think of it.) - as well as FL for copies of paternity paperwork they may be able to provide me. That will circumvent the tests, and avoid hassles & delays from the child support office. They told me if I could bring them to their office it would make things go quicker. So, I'll see what I can do.
And, no, he didn't do a damned thing about moving into the other bedroom. Worked in his garage instead. I hadn't ever really given it thought to ME moving over there. That would mean moving all the furniture out of the master bedroom. (He had other furniture from the spare room that he taken when he moved out. That's all still downstairs in the basement.) The thing that bothers me is the spare room is clear across the other side of the house, away from the baby's room. Right now, she's directly across the hall from the master bedroom. Yeah - I know what you'll tell me. Buy another baby monitor.
As for documenting things; well, I have here as a journal. I also FWD all the emails/texts he sends me to another email account I set up for that purpose. Started that at least 1.5 years ago.
All in all, I actually feel good. Probably has a lot to do with the kids being back at school! Job prospects are looking good, too. Calls to make tomorrow on them, as well.
And, SO has his dental procedure tomorrow. That means he'll only have vicodin for a few more days. Wonder what the withdrawal from that is going to be like.
New York - I'm still working on getting all that info.
Nothing's been signed yet or anything, we have to meet on the 20th to do all the rental paperwork, etc. He is going to be listed as the Guarantor on the lease, meaning he's responsible for payment, with me being listed as the tenant.
I know this is probably for the best, yet, it still stings. And I feel as though *I* didn't do enough and somehow failed my kids.
@ OT. 
