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BL42 #2942588 01/20/23 02:21 PM
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Originally Posted by BL42
At the risk of being repetitive, the cleaning/dishes/laundry is odd enough but the hanging of wedding pictures is just bizarro crazy. And neither of you nor your W mention it? Isn't that a major elephant in the room? I get some things are better left unsaid, but this seems like an item to address.

Spiral, if you feel like the hanging of the wedding pictures crossed a boundary for you, you might want to address that. If it doesn’t bother you, and if you really don’t care if she did it again , then you can chose to not address it.

Ginger1 #2942589 01/20/23 02:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Ginger1
I don’t know that I could date a separated man with an ex that won’t give him a divorce and comes in and hangs up their wedding pictures. And knowing the guy won’t commit, I would think he’s certainly holding that door open.
I think you would be shocked what women will overlook for a 1% man.

LH19 #2942591 01/20/23 02:45 PM
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Originally Posted by LH19
Originally Posted by Ginger1
I don’t know that I could date a separated man with an ex that won’t give him a divorce and comes in and hangs up their wedding pictures. And knowing the guy won’t commit, I would think he’s certainly holding that door open.
I think you would be shocked what women will overlook for a 1% man.

Do you know Sprial offline? I think you have a man crush or something, assuming he is a 1% man

Ginger1 #2942592 01/20/23 03:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Ginger1
Originally Posted by BL42
At the risk of being repetitive, the cleaning/dishes/laundry is odd enough but the hanging of wedding pictures is just bizarro crazy. And neither of you nor your W mention it? Isn't that a major elephant in the room? I get some things are better left unsaid, but this seems like an item to address.

Spiral, if you feel like the hanging of the wedding pictures crossed a boundary for you, you might want to address that. If it doesn’t bother you, and if you really don’t care if she did it again , then you can chose to not address it.
Fair enough, that's his call. Put people will treat you the way you let them right? If this goes without being addressed what's next? Something to think about.

Also...the question no one asked which I'm interested in is where did she get the pictures to hang? Did she bring them with her, does Spiral have them right next to the bed in his nightstand, or did she go into into the attic and unpack a box to get them?


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
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Ginger1 #2942593 01/20/23 03:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Ginger1
Originally Posted by LH19
Originally Posted by Ginger1
I don’t know that I could date a separated man with an ex that won’t give him a divorce and comes in and hangs up their wedding pictures. And knowing the guy won’t commit, I would think he’s certainly holding that door open.
I think you would be shocked what women will overlook for a 1% man.

Do you know Sprial offline? I think you have a man crush or something, assuming he is a 1% man
I believe him. We have not connected yet.

Spiral #2942594 01/20/23 04:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Spiral
I also have no intention of reconciliation.
Originally Posted by Spiral
I could get someone else to check on the dog.
That sounds like a great idea.

Hanging the pictures on the wall is creepy AF.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Ginger1 #2942602 01/20/23 05:38 PM
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Wow some truly EPIC posts for this Friday…

Originally Posted by BL42
At the risk of being repetitive, the cleaning/dishes/laundry is odd enough but the hanging of wedding pictures is just bizarro crazy. And neither of you nor your W mention it? Isn't that a major elephant in the room? I get some things are better left unsaid, but this seems like an item to address.

Ya think???? And then let’s not forget but add back in she recently withdrew and closed the petition for divorce. She is no longer actively pursuing D! They are fully, 100%, legally married. How can all of this not get at least mentioned if not discussed. Unless, of course, communication has been a problem in the marriage all along. How can this be ignored?

Originally Posted by LH19
Originally Posted by Ginger1
Basically you get the boyfriend experience, without actually having to be a boyfriend?
Well the other side of this is she gets the GF experience without being the GF.

Thing is: while Most guys who get the boyfriend experience without having to be a boyfriend are doing backflips while high fiving their buddies, most girls who get the girlfriend experience without being an actual girlfriend are crying to their friends and family in between asking the guy “where do you see this going.” The two not nearly comparable. Remember Mars and Venus?

Originally Posted by Ginger1
Originally Posted by LH19
I think you would be shocked what women will overlook for a 1% man.

Do you know Sprial offline? I think you have a man crush or something, assuming he is a 1% man

Gee, ya think? This is why while I sometimes will take Ginger to task, there are other times I totally love her - or at least love her comments. Of course it could also be in the definition being used for a 1% man


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Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
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Originally Posted by Ready2Change
Originally Posted by Spiral
I also have no intention of reconciliation.
Originally Posted by Spiral
I could get someone else to check on the dog.
That sounds like a great idea.

Hanging the pictures on the wall is creepy AF.
No. She's marking her territory.
Akin to peeing in the corner.


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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DonH #2942607 01/20/23 06:22 PM
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I'm not sure what LH's definition of a 1% man is. I just have a high income, high status job that it is pretty easy to verify with google. And it tends to grab the attention of women in the entertainment industry or who want to be part of the entertainment industry.

I also did mention the wedding pictures to my ex and ask why she did it. She said she thought it looked empty without them. Shortly after it happened, I put the pictures back in a drawer (not in my bedroom), where they have been almost from the start. But I left it at that.

And G, I don't think it is modern dating. I think she's letting me get away with it and she shouldn't if she wants a commitment. But she never said that she did and I don't bring it up.

Spiral #2942609 01/20/23 06:27 PM
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So Spiral, your wife had to go looking for the wedding photos in order to put them up?

Are you ok with her doing that?

I'm trying to imagine what that would have been like in my sitch ... my exh did come in and take care of our dog when I went to Death Valley for a long weekend. It was different in that it was my apartment rather than our marital home. Had he snooped though? That would not have been welcome. Not that there's anything to hide, but it's a violation of privacy which should be honored, especially by the person who initiated the breakup, imho.


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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