I didn't mention the wedding pictures to the woman that I've been seeing. But these little things don't go over well at all. I suppose that could be part of why they keep happening. I don't think my ex has any interest in reconciliation or ever will. I think its just guilt or nostalgia. They'll never amount to anything and they're not at all consistent. And she still talks about needing to finish the divorce soon.
I didn't mention the wedding pictures to the woman that I've been seeing. But these little things don't go over well at all. I suppose that could be part of why they keep happening. I don't think my ex has any interest in reconciliation or ever will. I think its just guilt or nostalgia. They'll never amount to anything and they're not at all consistent. And she still talks about needing to finish the divorce soon.
I don't know. She pulled back the divorce. Does she know you're seeing someone? Could be that.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
I find myself saying this rather often… but trying to analyse why WS/WAS do dumb sh*t is a one-way ticket to the crazy house.
It’s impossible to understand things which don’t make sense 🤷♂️
What IS important, is to work out what YOU want and focus on that.
It could be that she sees you with another woman, and is worried her old monkey-branch is feeling a bit less secure. Figures she’ll go hang your wedding photos and see what happens, so she can determine if it’s still nice and solid while she does more dumb sh*t.
You need to put yourself in the shoes of your new partner. How would you feel if your partner’s ex still had access to the house and was re-hanging wedding photos on the wall? It’s creepy AF.
That would be a huge red flag to me, and I’d be running out the door. You really need to protect your new partner from this BS.
And if reconciliation is still possible in your mind, you shouldn’t be with a new person.
Successful reconciliation is incredibly rare… but the few that are successful, tends to be because the LBS makes it exceedingly difficult for the WAS/WS to return. Letting her touch stuff in your house sends a signal that you’re weak as sh*t.
Personally, I’d say nothing to her about it, but I’d pull the wedding photos down and place them in storage. And I also have a long hard think about my new partner’s feelings and put some things in place to make sure this stuff doesn’t happen again.
She knows who I'm seeing. She checks my social media and there are hints. We also have teenagers who always check my whereabouts if at all possible. I agree that some of it is that.
K,
Partner is probably too strong a word. I date one person at a time, but I make no commitments. I also have no intention of reconciliation. And the wedding pictures were put away the next day without much comment beyond a why. You're right about putting some things in place. I just wasn't expecting it. She filed for divorce immediately, got engaged immediately, and pretty much disappeared without looking back. But I wasn't seeing anyone in particular before.
There are good podcasts out there on midlife transition for women. This is a classic case that happens all the time. A woman leaves a good man only to regret it later. It’s sad for all people involved. Bet you the first round in Vegas that she ramps up the PA hints she’s having doubts. Next time maybe she’ll wash the floors.
Basically you get the boyfriend experience, without actually having to be a boyfriend?
Well the other side of this is she gets the GF experience without being the GF.
That works great if she doesn’t want to be the girlfriend.
I’m A fan of whatever works for both parties. It’s takes a lot of honesty, transparency, and quite frankly, bluntness of both sides. Often times one side will say they are cool when they are really not.
But as long as spiral and his girl are happy.
I don’t know that I could date a separated man with an ex that won’t give him a divorce and comes in and hangs up their wedding pictures. And knowing the guy won’t commit, I would think he’s certainly holding that door open.
That’s just me. Everyone is different, there is no right and no wrong. Spiral and his gal seem to really enjoying their situation
At the risk of being repetitive, the cleaning/dishes/laundry is odd enough but the hanging of wedding pictures is just bizarro crazy. And neither of you nor your W mention it? Isn't that a major elephant in the room? I get some things are better left unsaid, but this seems like an item to address.
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
