Wife in MLC, I think

[Ready2Change]

You will be moving down parallel paths.

1) Legal
2) DAD
3) Personal Growth
4) Busting the Divorce (I will assume you want to save your M until you say otherwise)
5) Work
6) etc....

I assume you have your copy of DR now. Read it as quickly as you can. You can re-read it slower to help clarify some of the concepts.

Let us know how we can help.

[LB55]

Yeah I have my copy of DR. Will work on reading it over the coming days. Haven't had much time yet. The past 6 days with Christmas, driving about 1200 miles back and forth, lawyer meetings, and spending 2 hours with my kids and giving them their Christmas gifts. My sister lives 300 miles from me, so I have been driving a lot.

I am staying squeaky clean. No phones, texts, driving by the house, etc. I am just talking with my lawyer and my sister. She took all of W Facebook posts yesterday...W deleted her Facebook today...lots of good stuff in there from the past 7 years that supports my position and shows her deceit. She is so smart!

We are coming back bold, strong, and respectfully. That will play better than slinging mud in my opinion. Nobody wants to hear that crap. Just get it settled. W must know I mean business. I believe she thinks I will roll over and give her what she wants. She has awakened a sleeping giant. Game on.

[joejoe1]

LB55,

I'm active duty military as well. I'm glad to see your are standing up for yourself and showing respect for yourself. You deserve better than how you are being treated. Your W is about to have a rude awakening literally. Keep up the hardwork.

Onward and Forward

[LB55]

Well her I sit in the airport waiting for my flight to my duty station. Haven't seen my W since nov 19th. I am starting to recognize things about my M that I was blind to while in it. My sister has pointed out some things too, and perhaps it wasn't as happy and rosy as I thought it was. I don't hate my W, I am not even angry with her, just frustrated that she won't be direct and tell me what is going on. Instead she wastes tons on money on a L to ask me via my L if it is ok to hire a plumber to fix the shower drain. I don't care, but why waste everyone's time and our money, just text me and I am fine with it. Oh well.

She did have the kids call me on Tuesday per the new temp agreement, but she had her friend over that is pushing for D, and her kids, so of course mine were distracted and didn't have much to say. On speakerphone and walnut int to go play, so I talked for a few mins to each, and let them go have their fun. I just want them to know I haven't abandoned them, and when this is all done I will still be there.

Have a lot of work to do in the next couple weeks, working on my response to her declaration, getting proof of things she lied about, going to see my counselor, getting medical tests done to prove I am not a drunk, statements from those who know us well but aren't aware of her shenanigans yet, and get a nice little packet together to show the court some truths about all the lies she used to get a restraining order. Trying to be proactive, would not be expected by her and her L.

I hope she is enjoying her $900 security system to watch the mice and birds. Also her $800 curtains so nobody can see in on what she is doing. Lord knows I haven't gone anywhere near there, but the bank statements and kids talking about helping put the up make it easy to use put 2and 2 together.

She is not going to be happy when the mid month paycheck doesn't show up. Changed my bank accounts and mailing addresses among other things, she doesn't get those nice benefits anymore. I will give her the proper amount for child support, and that is it. I don't want my credit ruined, so I will ensure the mortgages get paid. All the bills are in her name anyway.

Once I have my hearing on the 1st of Feb I will start looking for a place to live. Don't want to start that process prematurely, as I would love nothing more than for the court to say she can move out. Probably won't happen, realistically. I do need to know if I need rooms for the kids at my new place, hard to argue for them to spend nights at my place if I have a studio apt.

Trying to find some meet ups that I can join once I get moved to work on GAL.

[Ready2Change]

I do need to know if I need rooms for the kids at my new place,

Yes, I found a three beedroom rental. One room for me, one for the two boys and one for my daughter.

[joejoe1]

LB55,

Wow, you are showing a lot of strength. You are doing good, keep up the great work. I love how you have made your children your #1 priority.

Onward and forward

[LB55]

Thanks Joe, I am trying to keep trucking forward.

I have 3 weeks to get all my paperwork, arguments, and proof together for this hearing. Funny that they call it a "hearing" when no verbal testimony is allowed per the court order. Put together our financials today, definitely shows a disturbing trend in her spending and habits. Also shows her 'needs' statement to be a laugher. Said her internet bill is $210/month. $59.99 and has been for years. Needs $750/month for food for her, kids covered by childcare, when I was living at home our monthly food bill was $442(I know that sounds cheap, we didn't buy much packaged processed food and it makes a difference). For 4 of us! She needs $780/month for utilities that total $187/month on average. Rude awakening coming.

Lots of proof in those bank statements about her false testimony. That is the angle we are taking, just poke a few holes in her stories, provide an email here or a statement there, and provide that uncomfortable doubt in the judge's mind about what is true in the rest of the 40ish pages. Judges don't have a desire to read 40ish pages of sob story with no facts, so we are coming in with a nice bold statement and easy to prove facts that poke holes in her hot air balloon. It will return to earth all on its own once it has enough holes in it. Trying to show her instability from every angle.

I have a call with the kids tonight, hopefully their friends aren't over this time so they will be less distracted. Nothing I can do about it if they are.

[joejoe1]

LB55,

Great work and preparation. Yes her ballon is about to lose a lot of air. Reality knocks the life out of most fantasies. She's shooting for the moon. Looks like she might miss those clouds on the way down.

Keep up the hard work.

Onward and forward

[LB55]

Well just got off the phone with the kids, they have never really been phone talkers so it is always kind of me talking and them going 'yeah' or something. Always good to hear their voice though.

I keep asking them what they have been doing on the holiday break from school, and baud nothing to say but cryptic 'we have been really busy' and 'we had new friends come over and hang out' statements, but didn't care to elaborate, probably because W has them under her thumb making them play the 'I have a secret' game too.

So frustrating. Oh well, got to keep my head in the game and keep chugging on my homework for the L over the weekend. The more I can do for her the better it is for me and my bank account.

[LB55]

I have a question for the board...

Given that I am not communicating with W in accordance with the temp restraining order that she requested and was granted ex parte, should I inform her that her credit card will no longer work and that she will no longer be receiving my pay check into the joint account starting with my pay on the 15th? Should I just let her figure it out? That is the course i intend to take. Seems like a jerk move though and don't want to appear as trying to be selfish or hoarding money to the court. I am trying to figure out what is a jerk move and what is no longer being Mr Nice Guy. She would still have access to the joint checking account and there is money in there so it isn't like she wont be able to eat or get gas.