13 years and 2 kids pt. 3.

[Hurt213]

Journaling.

So today I picked up the kids from daycare, and we played and had fun. I started my christmas vacation today, so tomorrow I can attend daycare Christmas Church ceremony with D4 and S1. Looking forward to it.

WW texted me and wanted to know if are buying presents for eachother from the kids and asked How I was doing, I didnt answer. Something about her really annoys me today. Later she sent me a Snapchat of her being at a girlfriends House. I guess she wanted Me to see that she wasnt at OMs House.. I didnt respond..

Woke up half an hour ago from noise in the kitchen. Sounded like something was being wrapped. Then I realised that she was wrapping the presents for OM that she hid under S1s bed. I wanted to freak her out alittle so I just went silently into the kitchen, tossed the baby alarm on the table, Said “hello”, while I looked at her. She looked Real anxious, mumbled hello, and then I just went back to bed.

Just another Day in paradise

[ballast]

So today I picked up the kids from daycare, and we played and had fun. I started my christmas vacation today, so tomorrow I can attend daycare Christmas Church ceremony with D4 and S1. Looking forward to it.

There is your LOVE and light through your tunnel. Discard the rest of your post.

-B

[neffer]

So today I picked up the kids from daycare, and we played and had fun. I started my christmas vacation today, so tomorrow I can attend daycare Christmas Church ceremony with D4 and S1. Looking forward to it.

There is your LOVE and light through your tunnel. Discard the rest of your post.

-B

This^^^

[Joe2017]

There are three things that got me through my worst days.

1. My kid
2. My family
3. My true friends

Focus on those.

If there is anything I wish I could have done during the first stages of D was to completely detach. Everyone here was telling me to detach. It sounds so easy but it's not. Still you MUST work on it. And once you finally "drop the rope" you will feel like you have your balls back. It's seriously amazing.

Keep working. Keep DBing. It will save you.

[Hurt213]

Journaling:

So yesterday, I went to church with D4 and S1, and had a good time. Afterwards I had to go do the last Christmas shopping, so I wanted to drop off kids in the daycare so I could be as quick about it as possible. S1 just ran in and had a ball, however D4 began to shake and cry, and I tried to tell her, that I wouldn't be long. She agreed to everything I said, and said it was okay that I had to go, however her body language told me a completely different story, and I am really focused on her well being presently, because im sure she is reacting to our situation at home.

I then decided that of course I couldn't leave her there, so she came along. We went to get the presents, and then of all people, we ran into WWs mother in town. D4 was really happy to see her, and well it was fine I guess. I kept it formal and short, but she told me, that WW had been visiting her earlier this week, and she was very very sad looking, and there was no joy in her at all. I told her, that we had to get going, without commenting on what she had said, and wished her a merry christmas. We then drove home, picked up S1 from daycare, and I cleaned the house while the kids played.

Later Voldemort arrived home, and D4 told her, that today we are going to make christmas cookies, and make different types of christmas candy. WW then told her, that she was of course going to be part of that.... I need help setting a boundary regarding her just jumping in on my activities - I know the kids like it, but she doesn't even ask, and yea I feel disrespected.

Later she said, that if I changed my mind, we could write both our names on the gifts for the kids, I just replied "no thank you".

When S1 and D4 were sleeping, I dressed up, and went to a friends house were he had a little social gathering. WW said "Oh, you look so nice", I didn't answer.

Today We sorted presents, and she tries to engage me in conversation, so I have been leaving the room whenever she is present, just to not give her the satisfaction of cake eating. She then came to me, and said that she would love it, if I would attend christmas with her family as well, and if she could join us for church. I said, "no thank you".

She then began packing her bags, because as I already journaled, she is going on a spa sleep over with OM apparently after christmas eve, when I have the kids. It just shocks me, that she is able to run around inviting for christmas and still knowing that she is going with him in less than a week from now - disgusting behavior.

So me and the kids are ready for christmas, and its going to be a lot of fun. She can do whatever the heck she wants, and I am just going to really enjoy this time I have left with the kids 24/7 before we are dividing their time between us.

[LH19]

It just shocks me, that she is able to run around inviting for christmas and still knowing that she is going with him in less than a week from now - disgusting behavior.

Why is that shocking to you? She has been doing it for months.

How can we help you?

All your posts are about the terrible things shes doing to you and you responding with "thank you" or "no thank you".

What are your goals for 2019? What are your immediate plans to get out of this toxic situation?

You have to participate in your own rescue.

[ballast]

Hurt...

1. Taking care of your children, focusing on them and having a great Christmas with them, make that front and center for you. That is straight line love right there. Make as many wonderful memories as you can.

2. In laws...parents will always try to support their children even if they do not necessarily agree with their decisions. Work hard to prevent yourself from projecting your feelings about your WW onto your in-laws. They may be as hurt by what your WW is doing as you are. Keeping your sitch out conversation with them is important. Sounds like you did a great job with that interaction.

3. Keep on detaching. We can't understand how/what/why from WW, so just keep letting it roll off of you.

4. You sound more centered. Your "boat" ain't rocking way back and forth as it was just a short time ago. Keep going.

-B

[neffer]

Stand strong there Hurt. You survived Voldemort´s temp checks.

Enjoy your kids! You all deserve that.

Sending hugs (((((((Hurt)))))))

[Hurt213]

Journaling:

So, here I am, back journaling / aka enforcing self therapy.

Its been some time since my last entry, and I guess you could say, I have been soul searching and I have embraced and realized some processes that I have not been able to look at until now.

So I had the kids for christmas, and it was a wonderful day even though I had dreaded it, since someone vital and a big piece of Christmas for the last decade, was no longer present. I ended up taking the kids to church in the morning - It was a great sermon about giving, caring and forgiving - It really hit home on so many fronts, that I just sat there, with S1 on my lap, D4 next to me, and I was calmed by the words given, while I thought to my self that whatever comes my way, I can handle it after what I have experienced now. I left the church with a child holding each of my hands, and I felt light and happy.

We then had a great christmas with my extended family. My D4 didn't ask about mom one single time, and just had a really good time for all I could tell. Late in the evening I tugged the kids in the car, and we headed home.

The next day we went to a christmas dinner with my family once again, and in the evening we had to attend a birthday party. Kids were behaving wonderfully, and I had time to actually just engage in conversations and enjoy myself. It was really good.

Now, here I am sitting on the couch, journalling. Kids are playing on the floor with their presents, and I will wrap this up now, so I can go play with them. WW is off on her adventure with OM and I have found my peace with that. She even had the "courtesy / was gracious / disrespectful" enough to write me and ask to facetime the kids today while she is gone with him. I could say that I didn't respond and that I was furious, fact is, I am no longer. I just shake it off and wonder how one becomes so ignorant and careless about persons they once loved, if they ever did and then I responded truthfully "We aren't home presently, kids are fine." <-- Some of you might say, that I am accepting the affair, or that I am allowing her bad behavior / enabling it?

Fact is, that we aren't married, she decided to give up on me, on our institution as a family. I fought, I fought for so long and I took so much crap, as those of you who has been with me from the start can surely attest to. I am done - I have embraced that there is a new future for me, and I am really looking forward to it. It sickens me that she leaves to be with OM, but it isn't because of the fact that she wants a new life, it is because of the neglect she is showing towards the kids in this special time of year.

I don't want to be with her anymore. You might call it give up, I tell my self I am moving on. She has hurt me once too many times with behaviors that has been manipulative and lying only to get what she wanted at the time. I hope she becomes happy so that my children will have a stable and loving home with two compassionate grown ups, whenever they aren't at my house. I wish her well, despite what she has given me, and that really baffled me, when I sat there in the church, realizing that my old beloved companion was no more, and that it was okay, I had accepted that.

I can't tell you guys what the future holds for me. A new love? rekindling of an old love? time till tell, I can say though, that I am not afraid to walk my path, and even though the bridge collapsed momentarily, It is now back to a place, where it can hold me and my kids, onto new adventures - And I am really exited!

I wish you all a very very christmas, and I hope you all are well around the world. I will keep documenting my journey because all your comments and perspectives on well, me, are so much appreciated.

Thank you!

[Hurt213]

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