I think it's more of the situation I have a problem with. I don't know if we will be together when he goes to college. We are living in limbo. Like strangers, roommates, co-parents. I'm longing for a healthy loving relationship. It's hard to talk about the future when the today is so questionable. Just ranting I guess. Frustrated. I'm too good of a person to be dealing with this.
Me 45 W 40 Step Son16 D 3 1/2 M 7 yrs Sept 1st yrs together 10 Living together 06/18/18 ILYBNILWY 8/21/18 W looking for housing.
Just trying to "Classify" the type of guy you believe you are.
Most guys fall into one of the two categories. Most guys that show up here are "Nice guys". I am now a "Nice guy" with the good attributes of the "bad boys" that women find attractive and dropped the "Nice guy" behaviours that turn women off.
Being in law enforcement, You may be the exception. You may be assertive ect. Most "Nice guys" need guidance to be more assertive.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
I'm no exception. Most Law Enforcement knows the risks of bringing the job home and are totally different when home. I'm probably the nice guy. Going to have to figure out how to be the bad boy without neglecting my family? Or at least my children.
This weekend I was so busy my W asked me both days what was for dinner. I said I didn't know and kept working. She ended up cooking and asked for advice on a few dishes. Normally I cook every day. I felt awful for not cooking for the kids. But for some reason, I felt as if I needed her to do it. I know that's not bad boy behavior but...
I've always been the rock, but the W spent more than we make and I became the slump when the OT dried up.
Me 45 W 40 Step Son16 D 3 1/2 M 7 yrs Sept 1st yrs together 10 Living together 06/18/18 ILYBNILWY 8/21/18 W looking for housing.
Hard time sleeping last night. Prayed a lot. Had the overwhelming desire to confront W with a question. I wanted to tell/ask her how long she intended for me to pay to be a fulltime dad? I did not.
I don't know where that question was coming from. I am tired AF this morning. I got an email this morning from Michelle about the last resort technique. It's expensive but I'm thinking of getting it. I have had zero time to read the book. Hoping I can at least listen to the program at work, in the car and when working in the yard.
I don't know. I'm still working on projects to stay busy. I don't know where the urge to confront wife came from.
Me 45 W 40 Step Son16 D 3 1/2 M 7 yrs Sept 1st yrs together 10 Living together 06/18/18 ILYBNILWY 8/21/18 W looking for housing.
The urge to confront for me was constant. However, in the instances where I caved in it always ended poorly. And I regretted it afterward. And it did more harm than good.
So remember the after effect. Always ask "If I do this will it do more harm than good?" "Will I regret it later?"
Hang in there Stryk, it gets easier as you get better at it.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
