Also, strangely my In-Laws (as my wife doesn't talk to me and i cant talk to her) just now, on April 11th asked "how were you planning on filing your taxes together" I explained that this will be difficult as her and i cannot be in the same room. I the offered to do it on the phone with my Mother in Law and file online, she never replied to that option and is now asking me to forward my W2's to my father in law so he can file for a deadline extension. Why is it they only want to do things on their terms? i told them im not sending digital copies of my W2s to anyone, and that we can do it the way i suggested or she can file herself (if she does this she will owe, so i know why they are trying to avoid this option)
Has anyone else experienced needlessly difficult and illogical behavior like this before with their WWS?
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
Has anyone else experienced needlessly difficult and illogical behavior like this before with their WWS?
Yeah, that is pretty much their MO. 95% difficult and illogical behavior, with 5% of cogent behavior. Some are even higher percentage in the first category. It goes with the territory.
I did get some advice from a guy that wrote an "avoid divorce" book. And I kept trying to keep it at the forefront of my mind. He said to give your W space as she goes through this and know that this is trying to figure out her own happiness. That is not a bad thing in and of itself because she might find that the truth that her happiness is her own responsibility and his little to do with you.
Just like DBing is to show the LBS that their happiness is their own responsibility. Relying on another for your own happiness is not healthy.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I am definitely doing my own thing. GAL'ing for sure. Where i did not find DB resources until recently (after i filed D) i am now reluctant to continue with the D for now. Im much more keen on just stepping back and going dark, as we arent living together. I feel however, if I put a hold on the divorce at this point it is only going to provoke a bad response. Not that i entirely care about her response, the sole reason i want to wait on the D is to give some time for both of us and let the TRO blow over.
I wish i had found DB way back in September.....things could have been so much different.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
I won't try to tell you what to do, but I agree with you to either cancel or place a hold on the D. Unless you get to the point that is what you want, but so far it doesn't sound like it is.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I think it will probably make them (W and In Laws) angry if i put a hold on it, but at this point i dont much care. I am just concerned with what I am comfortable with. I dont feel so thought the S has elapsed enough time, if she decides to contest my motion to put on hold, that will be a good indicator as to her mood, as we cannot speak.
I told her Mother that "her finances are no longer my responsibility, she should probably just file her own taxes alone" after i offered 3 different options to get our taxes done, and none of the 3 were acceptable (at least that was my assumption as i never got a response) I was asked to send my W2 to my FIL who said he "isnt comfortable speaking with me" due to the TRO. Which is BS. just an avoidance tactic. No way im sending my W2 to someone who wont even talk to me. lol.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
Dropping off motion to place on hold tomorrow. Time to put on her big girl pants and pull her head out of the sand and deal with the mess she made.
No skin off my back how long the D takes if it goes all the way. Im just glad we're finally getting warm weather in NE so i can go enjoy the outdoors with my Boy!
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
Man, did yesterday ever set my emotions on a roller coaster. On top of that the little guy was very sic last night, he was in fever dreams asking for mama and dada to be together again. Broke my damn heart.....
I even had some pretty vivid and painful dreams, and im not one to typically remember my dreams at all.
I swear sometimes Her and I share some emotional connection despite the distance and the fact we havent spoken in 3 months. Sometimes i just get gut feelings something is in turmoil on her end, like i can feel when she is particularly upset or conflicted. Who knows.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
OK, hang in there my friend. I like the attitude you have on the D. Also, file your taxes on your own. Make her deal with her own taxes. That is the consequences of moving out and getting a bogus TRO. It isn't you punishing her, it is you doing what you need to do based on the situation.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Thanks Steve, I will do just that! My plan is to be the rock in the tide. I will let all the waves she wants to send my way crash over me, immovable. As far as the taxes are concerned, not my problem. I offered solutions, im not bending over backwards to accommodate her disorganized last min needs.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
