Wow, Chris... You are gaining clarity... And you were able to communicate to her what was best for you... That's big... Her respecting your wishes, well that's good too... you deserve respect...
I think you made a very wise decision. I hope you see how that after you spoke with her and made it very clear, she just had to text and ask again. And, then she makes it about her and what she wants to do (add guilt). I hope she will respect your wishes and not show up.
This decision shows a lot of strength, Chris. If you continue to be independent of her control, you will be able to spot her manipulation and selfishness more easily.
I'll be thinking of you and your family. Grandmothers are a blessing to our lives.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Good job Chris. I remember early on, about a month after my W moved out it was birthday and my W asked if I wanted her to be there and I told her "no", that I just wanted to spend it with the girls. It was hard as h$ll to tell her but I felt much better after I made the decision. I also think you made the right call.
Sorry about your G-Ma! Mine died about 8 years ago, I was her favorite and she was mine. My youngest was about 6 months old when she died and unfortunately they never got to meet. It is something I will regret for the rest of my life.
Thank you all for the kind words, I appreciate it very much. It is crazy and wonderful how complete strangers will go out of their way to help someone they really know nothing about. I find this whole board/community exceptional.
I am doing good. It is still hard to process these last few days, as it was an unexpected passing. My W was actually very comforting throughout the whole process, and helped me get through some of the 'guilt' that comes along with grieving. I did communicated with her via text over the last few days, but it was more of just business like answers, and telling her I was thankful and appreciative she was able to open up and be there for me.
Now it has passed, and I am back to business as usual.
M:30 W:28 T:9 MR:2.5 NoKids Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16 Move back in: 1/17 BD: 8/15 She moved out: 9/1
No, we were going to go over them when we split up the wedding gifts. We were supposed to do that on 1/20; but that is that is the w/e my grandmother passed away. While I was on the phone with her on 1/18 when I found out, I told her, "so obviously I am not able to do the wedding stuff this weekend". She said do not worry about it.
I did call her on 1/22 and just talked to her for a bit (i know...but it was pretty professional). She was crying over the phone as I was talking about the weekend. As I was hanging up I said, "just contact me when you are able to do the wedding stuff and go over everything." She ended up texting me a couple times last night to tell me she was thinking about me all day, and that she was there for me...(yea...right...).
So, I assume the next time I will hear from her is when she is free to split up the wedding stuff; and go over the papers.
M:30 W:28 T:9 MR:2.5 NoKids Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16 Move back in: 1/17 BD: 8/15 She moved out: 9/1
Is there anything in particular that you really want from the wedding gifts? I ask because when W left, I told her she could take virtually anything she wanted. None of the 'stuff' really meant anything to me, so I wasn't going to fight over it.
I just think it would be easier to let her know what you wanted and let her take the rest, but I completely understand if you don't/can't do that.
It was much easier for me not to be around when she moved out and divided up our stuff. Less emotional turmoil.
M:23 T:26 Me:53, Wife: 60 S:18 D:16 filed 7/16 W moved out 4/28/17
When we got married we were still living in a small apartment, saving waiting to buy a house. While we lived in a smaller apartment, we kept a TON of our wedding gifts at my folks house (tons of crate and barrel boxes and stuff). She moved out after BD in August last year. The stuff is still in my parents basement. So, part of our dissolution efforts are to try and split up the wedding gifts as best as we could. I understand what you mean, however, there are alot of items I do want as I love to cook; and some other items.
I feel I am in a good place, and will not be emotionally attached to this 'gifts' when we try to divide them.
M:30 W:28 T:9 MR:2.5 NoKids Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16 Move back in: 1/17 BD: 8/15 She moved out: 9/1
