Thread #2 - Separating

[KevinIn]

I can relate. You know, sometimes it isn't the people who change but their mask that falls off...

With mine, i think she kept refusing to think through important things in life (e.g. religion, parenting style, etc.) and addressing other things (e.g. when she disagreed with me but wouldnt talk about it), and she assummed they would all work themselves out without her putting in the effort. The pressure built up and she eventually snapped. This changed her.

I can see your point too - maybe she always has been a slightly depressed and unhappy person who doesnt want to take responsibility.

Either way, i dont see her changing into someone i want to be with anymore. Maybe that will change, but she has a lot of work to do first.

[Dawgs]

Either way, i dont see her changing into someone i want to be with anymore. Maybe that will change, but she has a lot of work to do first.

Same here. She won't seek help even after I asked...her response was "I have the paperwork to say I'm OK." Mind you, the military docs want people back ASAP.

[KevinIn]

The way she was during our conversation last night will definitely make it easy for me to keep detaching.

[Dawgs]

The way she was during our conversation last night will definitely make it easy for me to keep detaching.

Yep. Mine now - and for the past year or so - is friendly only when things go her way in any form, whether it be seemingly agreeing that we are better off divorced (none of which I did, but in her mind I am) or just not talking about things. However, she isn't the person I dated and married. I've come to realize that now. Her loss...not mine.

[KevinIn]

So today she emailed our tenant to move out. He's not happy about that. She's successfully making more and more people not like her. At least she has OM.

[Gordie]

With mine, i think she kept refusing to think through important things in life (e.g. religion, parenting style, etc.) and addressing other things (e.g. when she disagreed with me but wouldnt talk about it), and she assummed they would all work themselves out without her putting in the effort. The pressure built up and she eventually snapped. This changed her.

I don't understand. What do you mean?

[KevinIn]

With mine, i think she kept refusing to think through important things in life (e.g. religion, parenting style, etc.) and addressing other things (e.g. when she disagreed with me but wouldnt talk about it), and she assummed they would all work themselves out without her putting in the effort. The pressure built up and she eventually snapped. This changed her.

I don't understand. What do you mean?

Just that the pressure from how she was approaching life was too much, so she snapped.

[Dawgs]

Just that the pressure from how she was approaching life was too much, so she snapped.

Maybe it pulled her mask off?

[KevinIn]

Venting:

Went out with a coworker last night who is separating from her 8 year relationship and had a great time. Misery loves company.

Then this morning when i said hi to my kids on the phone, my wife took the phone and was being an angry b!tćh to me because i talked to the tenant in our condo without her input. She's mad that im doing things without her input.

For the most part, i restrained from saying what i really wanted to say, but i did slip up slightly and say "theres been a lot of decisions behind my back lately."

Now im in a bad mood. Does she not understand that if she wasnt leaving and that she tried working on our relationship that we would have talked through all communications with the tenant? That we would talk through everything? She created this mess, not me. Seems like anything i say or do is wrong in her eyes. Im starting to relate to the people on this forum who just give up and file themselves. Forget being amicable - shes a jerk who doesnt deserve my kindness. But, our kids do so i wont.

Now im just mad at her, which is not how i wanted spend my morning. Especially after having a fun night that had me feeling good. At least im not sad i guess.

I need to put angry wife out of my mind.

[Dawgs]

She's mad that im doing things without her input.

Good grief. I hear the same thing. It's almost like we aren't entitled to a life without them even though that's what they want.

Forget being amicable - shes a jerk who doesnt deserve my kindness. But, our kids do so i wont.

I so agree with this. I want nothing to do with mine and would, well, lets just say be not so nice. But, I have to remember the kids...

I need to put angry wife out of my mind.

Take your new-found date out again.