I really appreciate the support in my time of frustration.
I am definitely frustrated and discouraged. I feel like after 9 years patience is running out. I had a joke of a marriage which ended very young. All I heard for the first few years was "you'll remarry, you'll find someone new, you'll have more kids, be patient and don't worry"
Well, never happened. And The freakshow that has been presented upon me as options have only given me really good stories to tell over drinks, or to tell when a friend is down and I think they need a laugh.
Ok, I am done now. I don't even want listen to myself anymore. I really appreciate everyone for listening.
I'm going to the gym tonight (well, every night) then D9 goes with her dad and I'm going to go home and clean out my downstairs closets. I imagine that should be a nice distraction.
I am truly exhausted. I also have no carbs in my life right now. Maybe I'm hangry.
Last edited by job; 01/10/1703:20 PM. Reason: Added the link to the previous thread
I'm so sorry you've had such bad luck with partners! I obviously don't have the best history, either, but I wanted to share that the same month I finally decided that I was happy alone, that at the age of 53 (and since you have a 9 year old D I assume you are nowhere near that age) I didn't need or even want a partner, that I looked forward to a happy future that included lots of hobbies and passions that are my own, GAL with girlfriends, and an increasing number of cats - a person turned up that has been the best potential partner for me so far in my life.
Without going into a lot of detail, I am convinced that there was an intervention that put him in my path. I resisted for months and wanted only friendship, but it became overwhelmingly clear that we are extraordinarily well suited for each other. I have been able to pursue sides of myself that I could not with any partner before, and the dynamic between us is different than either of us have experienced before.
So don't despair - but focus on yourself and your own life, pursue your passions and see if you attract the right man.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
Take heart G, at least you're not a 58 year old vegetarian Seventh Day Adventist guy trying to find a relationship with someone from his own faith group lol. I've got a harum of 35 year old single Filipino SDA women who like to hang out with me but I think they see me more as a cute pet who has a car lol. Hang in there...at least you're not me ha ha!
I'm so sorry you've had such bad luck with partners! I obviously don't have the best history, either, but I wanted to share that the same month I finally decided that I was happy alone, that at the age of 53 (and since you have a 9 year old D I assume you are nowhere near that age) I didn't need or even want a partner, that I looked forward to a happy future that included lots of hobbies and passions that are my own, GAL with girlfriends, and an increasing number of cats - a person turned up that has been the best potential partner for me so far in my life.
Without going into a lot of detail, I am convinced that there was an intervention that put him in my path. I resisted for months and wanted only friendship, but it became overwhelmingly clear that we are extraordinarily well suited for each other. I have been able to pursue sides of myself that I could not with any partner before, and the dynamic between us is different than either of us have experienced before.
So don't despair - but focus on yourself and your own life, pursue your passions and see if you attract the right man.
Thanks Painter. Your new relationship sounds incredible and I've been following along with you and you have made some very brave moves to go about and live your own life.
I am 36 years old. My ex left when I was 27. So, I haven't quite got to the point where I have been prepared to live the rest of my life without a partner. Although I did go through the essential processes of being a lone for some time, discovering who I am, do things that interest me, ect. I have a very full life I joined a gym that is like a family and I go 5 days a week. We hang out, we just signed up to do a race. I've vacationed with friends. I took my D9 to Disney, just the two of us and it was amazing. She said her favorite part of that trip was spending all that time with me having fun.I am back in school for over a year now bridging my RN to BSN. I will be done this year There was probably a time of about 2 years where I wanted nothing to do with dating. This two years came at a time I was comfortable with myself, not just trying to survive the horror.
So, as depressed as I sound, I live. I go forward. I don't think there has been one point in this process that I laid in bed depressed. Not even from bomb drop. I had an infant. So, I've got that going for me. I'm just going to keep putting one foot in front of another and hope what is meant for me will find me. Just like you!
Hey G, I saw this on someone's FB page and thought I'd share it.
10 Reasons Why It’s Harder For Strong Women To Find Love
1. They do not settle. Strong women have high standards and even if they like someone who is not treating them the way they deserve, they will still walk away. They don’t compromise their standards for someone else and they know what kind of person they deserve to be with. 2. They’re not afraid of speaking up. They’re not afraid to tell someone what they did wrong or call someone out on their lies. This is why they’re often labeled ‘intimidating’ because they can stand up for themselves and will not hold back. 3. They don’t ‘need’ a man. They crave love and affection but they will never need a man to complete them. Love will always be a choice to them; not something they’re looking for out of fear of being alone or getting old. They’re content with their own lives and love is a sweet addition not a necessity. 4. They know how to move on. They’ve learned how to move on when they have to. They will never be the ones to beg someone to stay with them or beg for a second chance. They’re confident that they will be fine and that they will find someone better. 5. They don’t allow themselves to be options. Strong women will not tolerate being treated like an option or being part of a bunch of women someone is dating. They appreciate commitment and honesty and anything other than that is a deal breaker for them. 6. They don’t play by the ‘rules.’ In life or in love, don’t expect strong women to follow any dating practices you’re used to or play it safe. They will surprise you by how daring and bold they are and they will never shy away from anything they truly want. 7. They know how to handle rejection. They’re not afraid of the word ‘no,’ they’ve heard it before and they will continue to hear it but that doesn’t stop them from trying, strong women face more rejections because they actually go out and ask for what they want instead of waiting for things to come to them and the more risks they take, the more rejections they’ll face, but these rejections only make them stronger. 8. They ask the hard questions. They will ask the questions men like to evade, they will ask where they stand and where things are going, they will ask to meet your family and friends and be involved in your life. Strong women are passionate and curious in all aspects of their lives and dating is no exception. 9. They’ve been heartbroken before. Even though they act like they’re unbreakable, they’ve fallen in love and gotten heartbroken before, heartbreak only made them wiser but not indifferent. They still have a lot of love to give, they just need to know who is worthy of it and who is just playing with their hearts. 10. They don’t look for validation from others. Strong women look for validation from their success, their work, their friendships and how they lead their lives. They know that the right person will find them when the time is right and they don’t let their relationship status define their worth or define them.
