Me and Midlife Wife and Midlife II

[Jack_Three_Beans]

CT,

He asked me on the phone tonight if I was mad at him for doing it. I told him I wasn't. [censored].

Were you actually?

[Jack_Three_Beans]

The reason I ask,

Is I think I would have been, despite the circumstances.

If you were, don't lie to him. You can be mad and still kind and compassionate.

sort of like how you treat an MLC wife. ; )

[CT1118]

Anyway, other than telling your S you weren't mad...did you try to explain how you did feel about his behavior? That it isn't right to bite other people or anything like that?

I did. Told him I did not like that behavior, but I understand what it feels like to be upset, and I was still excited to see him the next night.

[CT1118]

3Beans - no I was not mad, I just didn't like it. I have been mad over this with him in the past for sure, but at the time of the phone call, I was just...I think I was just feeling like I wanted to speak with him in person.

Two days later from that incident, I think that it made me realize - I may not always be there for him when he wants me, and it won't be by choice, but he is getting older and you know - I'm realizing that.

[ericmsant2]

Hi CT

my son turns 5 tomorrow.

Ahhh…5…great age. Enjoy it, they grow up so darn fast.

Two days later from that incident, I think that it made me realize - I may not always be there for him when he wants me, and it won't be by choice, but he is getting older and you know - I'm realizing that.

Believe it or not……it is not the amount of time you will spend with him as much as the TYPE of time you spend with him. At 5, you are his hero. He will watch and mimic you. Keep working on YOU and HE will benefit.
Any plans for this weekend?
Peace,
Eric

[CT1118]

Just came back from son's Bday party. Had it at a local kids gym type place. Spouse did a great job setting everything up. My apartment is now filled with kids toys.

So, Eric, had a great weekend thus far, georgeous weather, fun times with son. Spent morning reading for school and on my guitar. Wrote two papers last night. Imagine I will be building toys for some of the rest of the day. 😀

[CT1118]

PS!mhope that vacation is treating you right.

[CT1118]

Was having a great day and now having a "f___ her" night. My son brought up her OM to me. Told me he was confused about liking the OM. I know what explains it, I know I am detached, I know I did a great job of responding to my son. And here comes the "however/but response" however, as detached as I am, I am not emotionless. Roller coasters is not a good description for the MLC spouse, i tend to like roller coasters. Riding a tsunami in a refrigerator is better. I am fine, I just feel like saying da*n it tonight. Apparently I cannot say it [censored] (but I can say s**ks).

[job]

CT,

Feel those feelings, get them out there and then let them go. Yes, when you are punched in the gut w/something as innocent as your son talking to you about the OM and whether to like him or not, it's difficult. I'm sure you handled it well and your son felt safe talking to you about it. You did the right thing coming here to express how you felt.

I hope that you feel better today.

[ericmsant2]

CT

As much as it [censored]....DB101 - Change how you look at things.

Instead of FOCUSING on OM....

FOCUS on the fact that YOUR son Trust YOU enough to being up the conversation.

You are in a very tough spot. Be very careful with what and how you communicate with your son about OM. KEEP..let me repeat KEEP YOUR hurt out of the oonversation. I am not suggesting that you tell your son that OM is a wonderful human being. I am saying that do not tell YOUR son that OM is piece of chit.

Breath brother....breath.