And honestly, I should not talk about this on here anymore considering certain friendships. I started out speaking of him on here when it was a great positive about my life and I was excited to share. It didn't end as I had hoped, but despite how I feel now, which has more to do about me, rather than him, TBH, I will never regret him coming into my life. It taught me a lot about love and relationships, and I view the experience with D8 involved for the first time to truly be a positive. We learned to let some love from the outside come into our tight little bond. It was actually quite awesome. I think D8 looks at a man and his kids coming into our life again as something not so scary anymore, but positive.
OK, I'm totally out of it here? Lost...but why are you talking to this guy at all? this is NG, right? He dicked you! He has shown you who he is and when people do that they are giving you a gift...don't go there again, the pain will just get worse. I think we each have to recognize that life is just not fair...that's the way it is and we can't tie every situation up in a neat little package with a pretty bow and wave bye bye with big smiles on our faces. There is no happy ending here...endings suuck and they are painful. Do not allow him back in your life...just don't!!!! Tell him you said what you needed to say and to "have a nice life"! Just end this or you won't heal. You are an amazing lady with so much to give someone, find someone worthy of you (when you're ready). You can do this...don't make me come down there ha ha!
WII, no need to panic. I'm jus clearing the air, so I can clear my head so I can be ok for future events I refuse to miss because they will be there. Just a little closure for me, has nothing to do with him. It may end bad, it may end neutral, it may end good. But I've been sitting on this, it clouds my head, and I want to clear it.
Signing off for now, don't want to keep explaining it. I probably shouldn't have mentioned anything. He's been mentioned more than I ever should have and it's about me.
Got some school work to do at work. And then maybe a little work at work.
You gotta do what you gotta do I understand your pain and the gap that loss leaves in your heart. To have that special feeling with someone else is just awesome...and the hurt when it ends it pretty deep too. Hang in there
Thanks WII, I knew you would get it. After all of this, I wonder if its even worth it. Maybe, maybe not, but I realize more that either way, my path remains the same. I'm moving on, I owe it to myself. He didn't call last night, maybe some other time, but it really doesn't matter anymore.
JKS, thanks. Today is actually a better day. A much better day indeed. I had some human kindness experiences over the past 2 days that reminded me that I am not unlucky, I don't deserve bad things and that there is goodness in people and I am right where I need to be. I lost my footing, which I haven't done in years, but its okay, I'm getting back on track.
Ginger, You sound so much better today. You are not unlucky, but life has tossed you a number of lemons over the last few years...but I see a woman who has picked herself up, not once, but several times and has gotten stronger each and every time.
You are right where you need to be at this time. Think positive and when you do, everything appears so much better. I think you are a wonderful mother and your daughter is a gift who needed to be cherished by one and all. I'm sorry your xh is the way he is, but he's the one that is missing out on your daughter's life and one day, when he's old and sitting in a rocking chair, he's going to want your daughter to come visit and help him out...that's when he'll come to realize just how much he's missed in her life.
Ginger, please do not ever doubt yourself. You are far wiser and stronger than you think.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Job, that really made me tear up. But happy tears! Happy tears feels so much better. I'm going to keep picking myself up, because the other option isn't an option.
some days, I think I am incredibly strong. Others, I feel like complete mush. I become incredibly mushy when it come to matters of the heart. What's up with that?
I had a good day yesterday and I was alone for most of it. I cleaned, did some of my paper, found out I got a 100% on last weeks paper, did a little shopping, then had dinner with a friend. And laughed and had a great time. The peace is slowly seeping in.....
And Job, congrats on the moderator position! You have helped so many and it is definitely well earned.
Ginger, You are a very sentimental lady who has a heart of gold. Your heart is tender and you want to share your love, kindness and compassion w/everyone. Don't be afraid to shed those tears, be it for happiness or sadness. Tears help us get thru many of life's challenges.
I'm glad you had a good day yesterday. Congratulations on the 100%! You worked hard for that grade and you should be very proud of it!
Peace will come...it just takes time.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I understand your pain and the gap that loss leaves in your heart. To have that special feeling with someone else is just awesome...and the hurt when it ends it pretty deep too. Hang in there 