Too little too late?

[CRW]

Something is changing in her, not sure what, but something is changing, I can hear it in her voice.

[CRW]

She asked me to take S15 to the dentist for her. Progress.

[sandi2]

For example, in my previous thread, I mentioned a text where in response to me saying I had confused feelings about our direction going forward she responded with something along the lines of there was no hope of reconnecting love between us. Most people here took that as a death blow to our marriage. However, my coach pointed out that I never mentioned love to her, she brought that up on her own, meaning the thought is still in her head.

Well, upon reading this post, and another one that bothered me a little bit, I re-read your first thread and down to the current page. I did not see that message above indicated. I did, however, see YOU as the one ready to throw in the towell and seem to think the M had had it. It was the people on this thread that kept your nose above water, and frankly, I have not seen anything posted on your threads that directly went against the book.

As for the board giving different advice than your coach..............IDK. Perhaps you gave them a different version, told them something you haven't mentioned on the board. Again, IDK. All we have is what you say here. I find it pretty strange that a coach would tell you that sometimes begging and pleading works (unless, of course, it was a case of abuse or some other exception). I have experienced, and I am not saying you did this.......but I have seen people in your shoes misunderstand.....even hear things incorrectly. I don't know how many times I have read someone's post who got confused about something in the DR book and say it didn't match with what we were saying. I would look back at the book, and find they were missing key points.

If your W is willing to save the MR, then fine, write letters, pour your heart out, build a great friendship, date, and pursue to your heart's content. But if she has a wayward heart, has another man in her head, and she is not willing to work on saving the M...........you had better look in the DR book at what Michele says for the those who have a spouse that refuses to end an A.

[J5K]

I agree with Sandi!

[CRW]

Sandi,

I didn't mean to offend. And yeah, my coach has a clearer picture of the situation than I have portrayed here.

My main point was that not one size fits all.

And you are right, I have greatly valued the input from those on the boards here. I was asked about coaching and responded with an example. I should not have said 'most here'. My point was that my coach pointed something out that really helped me.

She is definitely not ready to work on the marriage. No way. I put the chances at 5% for success, but I will take that 5%.

[CRW]

And if I offended anyone else here, please accept my apologies.

[CRW]

Again, I feel terrible about this.

You guys have kept me going in a big way through this. I did not mean to make it sound like I didn't value your opinions, I truly do.

I hope that I can still get feedback and guidance from those here.

[sandi2]

You'll still get feedback. All is well.

[J5K]

CRW,

We are all good people on this forum. I also would love to have my M back but not at the expense of me being a doormat again. If there is no mutual respect for me, the M and the concern to keep the family together by the WW then goodbye to her. I received some bad new with respect to my D today. Somehow I am already over it. Excited about finding a new place for me and my boys. Now I just need to focus on fighting for them and their best interest.

I will continue to support! I hope you have a great night!

[CRW]

Thanks guys, that means a lot.

Well, yesterday was interesting. I've been letting her initiate all contact, which she did via communication about insurance. We discussed that. Then later she texted suggesting a babysitter for me to use if I needed one, which was weird because she knows I use my parents for that.

Then last night was really weird. I had the kids. Usually I have to run S15 to her place to get him some clothes after school. Typically he just takes the bus to her place and I pick him up there. However, WW told him to just go to my place, and that she would bring his stuff over later. She did, around 9:30. She basically welcomed herself right in. She wanted to give the littles kisses. We made some small talk, and she was overly affectionate to my dog, which she normally isn't. Overall it was really weird, because she has never done this before. I am sure there was a purpose to her coming over, but I'm not sure what it was.