MB You are 100% correct. I was trying to be very careful because I felt for you in this situation. I wanted him to be there as he has no reason to not be.
When I heard he had not responded though I knew things would be bad if you saw him.
I am not saying you are thinking wrong or shouldn't have contacted him. I guess I was saying the things more to try and protect you and your heart. With him being in such a self absorbed place I know he would hurt you more than help after not responding the first time
I am so sorry about your son. I am sending some prayers to you.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
I am so sorry. You have every right to be very angry and overwhelmed with emotion right now. DBing has to take a back seat to taking care of yourself and your son. It is truly sad and hurtful that your WAH wouldn't want to know how your son is or to see if you need any help. Truly it is appalling. I can't imagine how scared and hurt you must be. Please know we are thinking of you and praying for a quick recovery for your son. ((Hugs))
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
Hi MB, just wanted to say I am glad to see you posting.
It just seems like when I come to the forums lately, things just seem more and more hopeless to me.
I understand that completely. I felt the same way a few weeks ago and you posted on my thread wondering how I was doing. Sure some times your heart aches for the people here, it's part of the process we are all going through. There is so much positive going on here too, sometimes it's little things, they are there though. Helping other people through the hard times is what we all want to do and it helps us get a better grasp on our own sitch.
I am happy to hear your S is stable, that has to be a huge weight off of your shoulders. It is unfortunate that H did not respond however it is not the end of anything. It's not over until you say it's over MB. Until you feel you have done all you can for yourself.
Please keep posting, I do not speak for everyone, I am sure we all love you being here. I know that I do. You always make me smile and I try my best to give it back.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
Hi everyone! Just wanted to let everyone know that my son is stable for the time being, but is still in the hospital. Having more lab work in the AM to reevaluate a potential problem that I brought to the Dr's attention yesterday. If the lab work improves, they will probably discharge him. So glad! I'm so ready to sleep in my own bed instead of this chair. I just don't want to take him home until I know he's safe to go!
It seems that the bus driver is going to try to play innocent and blame this whole thing on my son. Guess it isn't enough that she ran him down, now she wants to rewrite history and make it HIS fault! Unfortunately for her, I have photographic proof of who is telling the truth. I just wish people could be honest for once!!!
Still having a hard time understanding WHY H doesn't check on S. Makes no sense to me at all! I have assumed that H is very mad at me for talking to OW about him and giving her the answers that she was looking for. Seems like he'd be mad at her for coming to me, but that didn't happen. I keep forgetting that ONE BASIC RULE, Everything is about him! Sheesh, you'd think I'd have that part figured out by Now!
Well, I hope everyone has a great weekend. I'm looking forward to some normalcy around here for all of us. I hope you guys have a great weekend! .
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
Hi mb. I'm glad your son is doing well. And I pray he is given the green light to go home soon.
As for H I know it's hard, however you can't dwell on it. This shows his true character. Mad at you or not to me it is totally unacceptable to ignore a sick or injured child in the hospital. I find it disgusting. No matter how angry or done with W I may be. If I get a text that a a child is in the hospital I will find out what happened. If it is serious like in your case where I am needed for the child I am there. To hell with work and anything else.
Please don't try to mind read. It will drive you insane. I see his apparent dismissal of your texts and calls to inform him is like I said a sign of his character.
This is a tough time and myself and everyone here are here to help you as much as we can. Stay strong MB and hope to hear from you soon
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Tyler, as always thanks for your kind words. I know I can always count on you to stop by and try to make me feel better. Things around here have just been so stressful lately. Having a hard time trying to keep it together sometimes. I find myself wishing that H was around for me to lean on, but I know that's not going to happen. I just keep thinking that it sure would be nice though. I get so tired of always having to be the strong one for everyone.
Okay, enough whining about me. How's everything going with you? I'll hop over and read your thread when I get a minute. Haven't really had time to keep up with anyone on here. Hoping things slow down around here though. Would be nice to be able to catch my breath. I hope all is well with you these days.
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
Well, my son got to go home on Saturday afternoon. Sure was good to get him back home, but I do believe they let him out just a bit early. I can't really say that he's doing well, but he's okay. He's pale and extremely tired all the time. Has lots of nausea and pain. He stays downstairs for the most part because it's too hard for him to get upstairs and he says the couch recliner is more comfortable right now than his bed. I know someday this will be a distant memory, and I am ready for that!
It's been almost a week since the accident and we have yet to hear from the school. Not one single person ever called to check on him after their bus driver ran him over. It amazes me how so many people just don't care these days. It infuriates me that they have such little regard for my son. For his life. It's just sad how they have behaved. The bus driver was right back behind the wheel of that bus the very next morning after running my kid over. She didn't get suspended or even have to miss one day! I WILL talk to the school about her, but at this point I am just way to angry to be able to do ta that without getting myself into trouble.
After getting out of the hospital on SaturdayI went over to H's house. I just couldn't let go of the fact that he ignored my calls and text message to him. When he opened the door he let me in but just stood there quietly. Didn't seem mad or annoyed, just stood there and looked at me. I simply asked "What's the deal?" Of course, he tried to act like he didn't know what I was talking about, so I asked why he didn't answer the phone calls or text message. He told me that he didn't hear the phone ring and didn't see the message until he was getting ready to go to bed. I asked how he could possibly not care enough about my son to call and check on him to make sure he was okay. He said he didn't need to check on him becuause he KNEW that he was okay. I asked how. He could possibly know that. He said because he went by my house and I was there. He said if my son was in the hospital, I wouldn't have been at home. Not exactly what I wanted to hear, but I guess he felt like he checked on him in his own way without having to contact me. I told him that sometimes I need to know that if I call him about something important, that he will answer the phone and be there for me. He said he just can't be what I want him to be. Not even sure what exactly that means. I asked what he thinks I want, but he didn't answer. Not really sure what to think at this point I guess. Anyway, it was an interesting conversation. He did ask me about my son. I had already decided that I wasn't going to tell him if he asked, but I did it anyway. I assured him that he didn't see MY vehicle at my apartment because I hadn't been there. Whatever. He is definitely irritated at me for talking to ow. I did point out that SHE contacted ME, but he said I should have just told her to go away when she knocked at my door. I told him that I talked to her because I was curious about why he likes her so much. Somehow, I got the impression that it's not paradise with them right now. He told me about some medical issues he had been experiencing. I asked if he was okay and told him how sorry I am to hear he hasn't been feeling well. He just seemed withdrawn and sad like he has been this whole time. After talking for a while, I was about to leave and asked him if he would give me a hug. Usually he doesn't want me to touch him, but he actually said yes. So he gave me a long hug, then I left. I was just as confused by him as I left as I was when I got there. I know I am not a mindreader, but it sure would be nice just to get a glimpse into what he's actually thinking and doing!
Our anniversary is this week. Other than Saturday when I went over there for about 30 minutes, we have been NC for almost 6 weeks. I had wanted to go over there on our Anniversary to see him but don't want to do anything to make our situation any worse than it already is. So, I'm just not sure what the right thing is.
Well, if anyone has any words of wisdom for me, I'm always glad to hear them. Hopefully someone out there will have the perfect advice for me. . I hope everyone is doing well these days.
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
Mb- I'm so sorry to hear about your son that is ridiculous that the school still has that person driving! I have no advice about the H because he sounds just as confusing as mine and I had to give up on trying to figure mine out. Just know we are all here for you and Hopefully someone will come give you some great advice <3
Hi everyone! I should be sleeping, but can't seem to do much of that these days. I went to see a new IC yesterday. I really liked her a lot. She talked to me and actually seemed to have some insight into who I am just by listening to me. That's something my other IC never seemed to have. I am hopeful that this one might actually be able to help me. Maybe she can help me get unstuck! In just the first visit she already asked me a couple of questions that made me question my past and how it affected my current choices in my life. She gave me some homework for this week. Not really sure I'm looking forward to it, but I will get it done regardless.
I haven't been posting much on here lately, but I do think about the people on this forum. I think about the process that we all must go through. I guess I've been making some progress (even if only a little bit) in the area of detaching. I don't drive by every day anymore and I am trying hard to get back to not checking phone records. I don't cry every day anymore. I do still have some incredibly sad and lonely days, but they aren't every day any more. I just feel sad letting go since I know I'm the only one holding on. I can't help but think that when I let go of the rope, there won't be anyone holding it anymore. Then what? It just feels like it will be over. I know that I can't change it, I can only embrace it and move on. But, It really is hard because it's not what I want. It's not what I want now, or ever. I just can't imagine their not being a future with my H, but then again, I couldn't imagine a day when I wouldn't cry because of the heartbreak. I guess when the time is right, I will be okay with it. I just don't have any other choice right now.
our anniversary is coming up. I wonder what it will be like this year. I expect that he won't reach out and try to contact me. I had been planning on breaking my NC on that day and going over there. One of my dear friends keeps telling me not to go over there on that day though. She said that it will just make him feel worse about himself if he forgot that day. Do any of you have any thoughts on that? Not sure what I would do or say if I went over there, I just really wanted to.
Well, I guess I'm going to try to sleep now. I hope everyone has a great day today!!
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
