So after 2 nights of W heading to her room and no interaction, last night after I got home from work she starting chatting about different things as I had some supper. She was also asking for some time with the kids by herself, isn't a problem as I have a wall climbing course today and tomorrow. Didn't tell her about it, just said I was out. She also wanted to meet a girlfriend over the weekend and was asking me which night suited me. I answered that other than tonight, didn't matter to me.
She lingered a lot during this process, suggesting something for the kids she found out about and asked if I wanted to do it also. I said ok to this.
I seems the assertive, confident attitude that was around a few weeks ago seems to be missing this week. Being wary of anything and keeping my guard up just in case. Not sure if reality is giving her a kick at the moment but following through my own plans and keeping her out of the loop. Just over a week till she is due to move out, she even suggested a couple of nights ago that I could have the apartment and she could stay in the house... Maybe the apartment is not looking as comfortable as the house and family...
Anyway, feel good and feeling like I am disconnecting and able to just shrug and shake my head at the weirdness of being at home. So thankful for this board to write these observations down and find it helps move them from my head.
Last edited by Cadet; 02/19/1607:51 AM. Reason: Link
Just over a week till she is due to move out, she even suggested a couple of nights ago that I could have the apartment and she could stay in the house... Maybe the apartment is not looking as comfortable as the house and family...
I am not moving out Cadet, she is packing some things slowly. I did say no, that wouldn't be happening. I don't know if reality is hitting her or what, I have been withdrawing as much as possible. I know I am away from my kids a bit as I keep space from her but I will make it up to them and hopefully a short term pain is a longer term gain. I still see them of course and make the most of the time I have with them.
As its been a couple of days since I updated, figured it I was due a little journaling.
Friday night and Saturday morning I completed the ground course for the nearby climbing wall, was something I had planned to do as a family and as a couple but have completed it as something to do with my son. Have been trying to work out if it is something I should include her in but think I will wait and see what she does first. She will find out about it soon enough through our son I'm sure. During the course met some another family and have plans to meet them to climb together occasionally. Also did some shopping and got a few new clothes, training has been going well and was able to buy Medium shirts for the first time in awhile, felt really good.
W was curious as to where I was going but didn't say to her what I was doing. Saturday night, she went out for a couple of hours to meet a girlfriend. Was telling me who and where she would be... I didn't ask, nor was I around when she got home.
Sunday, we had a day all together as a family, could have been like any family day out in our past except I knew I couldn't show any affection towards her. D3 had an accident when she fell off the swing, W froze in shock which is normally not her character. She admitted this later and is still noticeable how distracted she is. Got home and she lay in bed with D, but stayed there even when D got up. Once the kids were in bed, she went to her room and closed the door.
I'm on a course at work this week so W needs to drop off the kids and pick them up, I get more training done as I use the bicycle everyday. Last night, again as the kids went to bed she went to her room and closed the door. Headed to the gym but when I got back W is sick with a gastro. This is where I find it difficult to know what to do as my natural instinct is to look after her but she has said she doesn't want to be with me. Trying to work out the balance between being the real me and letting her fend for herself and suck it up. This morning I had to leave early so she needed to get the kids to school/daycare even though she was in the bathroom when I left. I haven't contacted her today to see if she managed it. This is the life of a single parent, the life she says she wants, I feel she needs to experience it all to really understand, even though I looked after my D also during the night so she didn't.
The other part I struggle to understand is that she hasn't tried to talk about the things she wants to take or the joint belongings she wants to separate out, there has been no talk of her apartment or her leaving in over a week. She was so sure she wanted this a few weeks ago, I expected her to be more assertive in her plans, rather than shutting herself away most nights and not dealing with it. I have been the one that has set some things out as to what will be happening when she leaves.
Also found it a bit of strange timing that I heard from both my brothers in law this past week, haven't heard from either of them since before Christmas.
Anyways, will keep moving forward with me and look after my kids as best I can.
How does a W get so twisted and cruel.... I have made some mistakes in this relationship but the things that are being said to me and said about me are just unreal.
Now I know she will twist anything to suit herself and her own agenda, found out today that because I have suggested she get her own car if she needs one, (as we only have one), she is telling people that I saying I'm entitled to it.... Also says that I have an extravagant expensive lifestyle, I haven't bought anything for myself in ages. The last thing we bought was her piano....
What the hell happens to these ones we love so dearly???
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
It is hard, but it is part of the process of her trying to make a case against you. I've heard lots of people whose spouses said awful things about them. Things that aren't true, like that they never loved them. It's b.s. And it can turn around again. So try really hard not to let it sink in.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
