When you feel the need to beg and plead, come here and get it out. Only show your husband the new you. The new Tamjakr that is confident and who can be happy without him. You will be ok.
Me-40's W- 40's Married 22, Together 29 BD#1- 6/15 W needs space BD#2- OM confirmed PA 1/8/16 Still both home, but not for long
Actually my biggest fear is that he is gone forever and won't want to come back. I do not want to start over at 46 yrs old.
Tamjakr-I saw this above about starting over at age 46. I am a few years older at 49, and like you, I don't want to start over either. It's a big fear
BUT...there are plenty of great people out there and it will stink for a while but don't let that fear cloud what you are thinking.....
_________________________ Me-48 Spouse-WAW 52 Married for 10 years D7 ILYBNILWY 7/15 Suspect EA/PA 12/15 No confirmation/denial She files 1/2016 Working towards the Big D ...still in progress....
Hi Tamjkar, hopefully you can see from your text reach-out, that it is detrimental to do that just now. Your H is 'turned away' from the M just now. That may or may not always be the case - but for now it is.
Please don't beat yourself up too much about this, but do learn the lesson and avoid doing this again. We all make mistakes when DBing, but the main thing is not to keep making them.
Your time would be best spent focusing on yourself. Can I suggest you have a look at the Codependent No More book? I'm reading it at the moment, and many on this forum have found it helpful.
Now - step away from that phone and no-one gets hurt!! Xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Step away from the phone!! Love it, that's gonna be my new mantra! I have the book and have read it. My friend is borrowing it. I'm gonna get it back and reread.
T-20 yrs M- 7yrs Me-46 XH- 44 S15, S21 1yr separation and divorce, my decision-07 1yr separation, my decision-2012 His PA started Aug 2016 I moved out Sept/16 He's been with OW ever since
Well after texting and speaking to my x last nt and this morning it sounds like he is gone for good. He doesn't want to get back together. He said he will always love me and care about me but that's it. It's horrible but I guess I have to drop the rope and move on. I'm devastated but it's out of my control. These past months have been awful and my days don't seem to be getting any better no matter how hard I try.
T-20 yrs M- 7yrs Me-46 XH- 44 S15, S21 1yr separation and divorce, my decision-07 1yr separation, my decision-2012 His PA started Aug 2016 I moved out Sept/16 He's been with OW ever since
Well after texting and speaking to my x last nt and this morning it sounds like he is gone for good. He doesn't want to get back together. He said he will always love me and care about me but that's it. It's horrible but I guess I have to drop the rope and move on. I'm devastated but it's out of my control. These past months have been awful and my days don't seem to be getting any better no matter how hard I try.
I, too, have heard those words. My H has been out of the house for 4 mos. Last night he called to let me know I would be getting D papers today. I'm devastated, not detached. He sounded sad but almost firm in his stance. But, he kept saying its a process, we have x amount of months minimum. Almost like he wants to be firm, but isn't? I don't want to give up.
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
I feel for you, it's awful. I don't want to give up either. He was kissing me 2 wow ago! But it's only hurting me cuz he is happy with his ow. Is he with anyone?
T-20 yrs M- 7yrs Me-46 XH- 44 S15, S21 1yr separation and divorce, my decision-07 1yr separation, my decision-2012 His PA started Aug 2016 I moved out Sept/16 He's been with OW ever since
He says not right now. Who knows what will happen in 5 or 10 yrs. I'm like what?! Forget it!
T-20 yrs M- 7yrs Me-46 XH- 44 S15, S21 1yr separation and divorce, my decision-07 1yr separation, my decision-2012 His PA started Aug 2016 I moved out Sept/16 He's been with OW ever since
