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Try to have some fun!!!


M - 40's
W - 30's
Two Sons
Living together
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 596
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What a fab day!

Free ticket to an exclusive cycling exhibition/event in London - went with a good friend. Free champagne all day , lots of freebies, and good conversations with interesting people and watched interviews with stars of the sport.

Did I think about W ? Yes, but less than I thought I would and mainly because London has always been our special place - where we fell in love, and a place we have travelled back to many times with happy memories.

But today was about me - a terrific GAL day. W started the day by offering me a lift to the railway station, later when home she asked a little about my day but was a little cool about it. Whatever - I feel more detached than at any time in the last 6 weeks.

Tomorrow is another GaL morning at the gym. Then the afternoon I'll be with my boys - maybe watch a movie


Last edited by isittoolate; 11/21/15 09:56 PM.

Me49 W45
T15 M13
S11 S8
BD 11/15/11 & 3/27/12
Moved out 4/9/12 Moved back 4/23/12
W working on US 5/20/12 Now Piecing!
May-Oct14 drifting
Dec 14 W agrees to more QT
BD Oct15 ILYBINILWY
W filed 1/25/16
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 596
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Oh Yes, forgot to say that this evening W says how she is missing S11 - he has been away one night at scout camp!

I thought to myself - you silly ***** - you want us to separate? how many nights will you be separated from your sons? 3-4 a week


Me49 W45
T15 M13
S11 S8
BD 11/15/11 & 3/27/12
Moved out 4/9/12 Moved back 4/23/12
W working on US 5/20/12 Now Piecing!
May-Oct14 drifting
Dec 14 W agrees to more QT
BD Oct15 ILYBINILWY
W filed 1/25/16
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,453
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My W says exactly the same thing about missing the children

I am not sure if she has her own plans

Being away from our children for 3/4 days is going to be hard on both of us

I dont know if either of us know how hard it will be

Day by day

Ghost


Me:48 W 41
M:18 T:26
2 D 18 & 4
2 S 17 & 13
Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation
D filed 06/17
Separate houses 10/17
D Final 29/12//17.
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Ah, but in her mind, the kids will want nothing to do with you and she will try and erase you from their life. Harsh? Yep, but it's what my W wants to do to me. She's not seeing straight but you're starting to see the oddities that are flying past you right now. Key here is not to react and drink a STFU smoothie.


M 45 W 52
SD22 S9 D8
BD 6 April 2015
Not living together 4 Dec 2015
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Thanks for checking in Huddy.

W is definitely acting cool with me, yesterday evening and today. It's possibly that she is just down, depressed.

Last night she went to bed at 9:45 saying she was v v tired ( she was up to 1am on Friday night. I know she hasn't been sleeping properly throughout this, and can hear her get up in the night.

I took her a cup of tea in bed this morning, just to repay the 2 she brought me this week. When she eventually got up she manned about having no energy or 'get up and go'. She's not communicating with me and appears down more than cold.

Her 4 weekends way with various friends and family are now over and her weekends until Xmas are at home. She is still going out, like on Friday night but maybe the reality of the sitch is hitting home a bit more.

It's up to her to split the family home and make us become part time mums and dads.


Me49 W45
T15 M13
S11 S8
BD 11/15/11 & 3/27/12
Moved out 4/9/12 Moved back 4/23/12
W working on US 5/20/12 Now Piecing!
May-Oct14 drifting
Dec 14 W agrees to more QT
BD Oct15 ILYBINILWY
W filed 1/25/16
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 596
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Posts: 596
Weekly Review of Goals:

Action for W goals:

To work towards being a more confident, self assured individual, and eliminating any remaining Nice Guy tendencies. To be more lighthearted and flirty, chatty with the opposite sex, Someone who W will respect and find attractive.

How: Taking more responsibility for organising childcare, being involved with my kids after school activities, volunteering for the scouts, loving and playing with my children more and continue with my fitness and GAL regime.
I will not take direspectful comments from W .
I will act 'As If' : I will act happy, contented, chilled, confident.
In fact it is getting easier because I am detaching more

Kids:
6. I will show love to our boys each and every day through word and deed...5
7.I will bring fun and laughter into the house and lighten the mood...3
8.I will do more to organise childcare...4
9.I will ring the kids before bed every night I am working away...5
10.I will kiss the kids goodnight and hug them and say ILY when I am at home...5

GAL:
11. I will reignite my passion for running and enter a few races ...4

13. I will contact old friends and meet up with them – one every two weeks....3

Personal

19. I will do spontaneous act of kindness to friend, neighbour or stranger as opportunities arise....3
20. I will assert myself physically through open body language, stand tall, eye contact, face W, listen, don't interrupt, validate....3
21. I will chat more to strangers to become more extrovert, engaging, and friendly... 5
22. I will read Hold on to Your NUTS a second time



ACHIEVED GOALS!


12. I will start salsa dancing lessons – one or two per week...5
14. I will take care of myself with regard to sleep and reduce my sleeping pills...5 (NB I havent used sleeping pills for 15 days)
15. I will maintain my present weight and not lose anymore....5
16. I will shave each and every day ...5
17. I might get some Botox? (If W can have it so can I!)..5
21. I will look to update my wardrobe...5
22. I will read NMMNG, and Hold on to your NUTS...5

Last edited by isittoolate; 11/22/15 03:52 PM.

Me49 W45
T15 M13
S11 S8
BD 11/15/11 & 3/27/12
Moved out 4/9/12 Moved back 4/23/12
W working on US 5/20/12 Now Piecing!
May-Oct14 drifting
Dec 14 W agrees to more QT
BD Oct15 ILYBINILWY
W filed 1/25/16
Joined: Oct 2015
Posts: 331
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Posts: 331
Great that you are finding time for you. Enjoy and banish those thoughts that creep in.


Me:48
W:45
S:15
M:17
T: 25
Separated: Oct 2015
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Posts: 596
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I'm working away next week Mon-Fri and am looking forward to it as it will create space for 5 days from W.

Monday I intend to drive back for my salsa lesson - 4 hour round trip for one hour lesson - now that's dedication!

Then Thursday I am going to a soccer game in Liverpool.
Friday I've got drinks and possibly dancing with the running club. There iare more females than males in the running club so should be goodI intend to come home late.

I'll miss the boys but will try to FaceTime them. Contact with W will be strictly limited but polite and courteous and engaging when necessary.


Me49 W45
T15 M13
S11 S8
BD 11/15/11 & 3/27/12
Moved out 4/9/12 Moved back 4/23/12
W working on US 5/20/12 Now Piecing!
May-Oct14 drifting
Dec 14 W agrees to more QT
BD Oct15 ILYBINILWY
W filed 1/25/16
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 596
I
Member
OP Offline
Member
I
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 596
Hi Vanilla

I don't know whether you still read my thread but I managed to give W both a shoulder rub followed by a foot massage whilst watching one of our favourite programmes on TV.

No expectations and I will be away for the next 5 days. Let's see what happens when I get back.

We also settled the arrangements for Xmas Day and Boxing Day so that should ease any sort of tension in that area.


Last edited by isittoolate; 11/22/15 10:17 PM.

Me49 W45
T15 M13
S11 S8
BD 11/15/11 & 3/27/12
Moved out 4/9/12 Moved back 4/23/12
W working on US 5/20/12 Now Piecing!
May-Oct14 drifting
Dec 14 W agrees to more QT
BD Oct15 ILYBINILWY
W filed 1/25/16
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