In the UK - need help (pt15)

[Huddy]

I have a van to cart stuff about for the next three weeks. Where I work (a company of 2000+ people) the Directors have been very good to me. One of them has given me the van, free fuel for as long as I like until the job is done. Paid time off to see to legal matters etc., I feel I am incredibly lucky....my W, however does not.

I offered, since I have the van, to move any rubbish/junk that she has to the tip on Sunday. It's stuff that needs to go for the move, so I'm not being over helpful, just want to avoid any legal nasties after we've left. So, W says 'Why have they given you a van?', 'Why are they letting you have time off?', 'I don't understand why they're being so good to you'. Because they genuinely care about me and saw me at my worst in April/May, when I was basically a walking skeleton who couldn't really function.

So, W can't understand why I am being helped and not her. I suppose, one day, she might look at her situation and realise that people don't see hurt, unless it is being directed at somebody who doesn't deserve it.

[NDY]

Amen brother, amen.

[ATPeace]

Hi huddy

I just thought I would check in on you

You have been a great friend to me over the past 5 minths that I have been here

I hear what everyone is saying to you and bring this to my sitch about it being about you and the kids

My W has saved a nice little nest egg of money must be close to £10,000 so this when she leaves will keep the fog at bay for some time

Take care my friend

Ghost

[Huddy]

Ghost

£10k won't last long, especially in south east England. Don't panic, it's not over yet.

[NDY]

And if the money was amasses during the M half of it belongs to you G. Know your rights.

[ATPeace]

NDY I hear what your saying however I have some assets that my W says she is not interested in so I would almost certainly just say you keep this money and I will keep mine if this works then great huddy thank you I know where there is love ther is hope

[NDY]

I'm going to pick this up on your thread G.

[Huddy]

The decent to the bottom continues!

Our fixed line phone provider has been in contact to tell us that the new owners of our house want to take over the phone line on moving day. Not a problem, it's in my W's name, so I can't deal with it (in the UK we have strict data protection laws). I then pass this information on to W and tell her that if she doesn't move the line, they will cancel the contract and fees will have to be paid. The look of disbelief from W that she would have to deal with this was unbelieveable.

Fast forward five minutes and W appears at the bathroom door. 'How do you mean I will have to pay fees?' H - 'Well, it's in your name, so you're technically liable' W - 'No way. You'll have to pay half' H - 'Sorry, not for me. It's in your name' W - 'It's a joint contract. I hardly use the interent' H - 'Sorry, but I'm not doing that. I'm not paying form something that isn't in my control'. At this point W resorts to nastiness 'You're being pathetic (said in sarcastic voice) you will be paying, you have a pathetic face'. I retort with 'Sorry, I won't and there's nothing you can do about it and my face is the same one that I've had for 43 years'. Final comment form W 'Yeah, it's a really funny face'.

This is the same woman, not 40 minutes previously had noticed I was home earlier than usual (she welcomed me in the door with 'I wasn't expecting you home yet' - didn't know she'd noticed what time I was getting in).

Would welcome views on the handling of that situation. I thought I played it OK, but willing to be told if I have made a mess of it!

[NDY]

My tuppence worth is you did good. It sounds like you didn't get phased and didn't rise to her bait.

My ex to this day struggles with the concept that if its in her name it's her responsibility. She still wants me to contact companies about accounts in her name. And this is a professional woman who deals with data protection every day. Sheesh.

Anyway next time she insults you rather than answer back I'd just look at her knowingly and say "hmmmmmmm". Then leave the room.

[Painter]

Ghost, no verbal agreements about assets! And check if they are really both to be divided.

H's ex made agreements with him, then turned around and used the legal system to fleece him a second time, because their agreement was overruled by law. There was nothing illegal about their original agreement, but it was only as good as her word, because the law only acknowledged one side and not the other.

This goes for everyone on this board: Don't make any financial agreements without talking to attorney!