And if I try to go out eveb to the store for wipes and sugar like I tried today, she also get extremely angry about having to wake up. So I wet paper towels and make due. It is just very frustrating to me because she wasnt always this bad. I hate seeing her act this way and I feel so bad for our kids. I can't afford a nanny for the kids while I'm at work(I think they need someone else besides her watching them currently )
I just wish she could see the damage she is causing the kids, let alone the MH(our carpets and walls are almost all ruined from crayons, syrup, etc.)
Any advice on that one? She will probably do it no matter what huh?
You answered your own question. Yes, WW is going to do whatever she feels like doing, including texting OM to her heart's content any time of day or night. Nothing you can say is going to convince her otherwise, and will likely just make her angry. Let it be.
Your main concern should be your kids. If WW is truly not paying attention to them while she is supposed to be responsible, then maybe it is time to look into some sort of daycare. I would start documenting what you have described, in terms of the condition of the house, the behavior and attitude of WW, etc. If you get to a point of filing for D, those kinds of details can weigh heavily in your favor on custody issues. Don't let WW know about the logs, but do make a backup and I would recommend emailing a copy at least once a week to your attorney, or at least a close friend/family member. With any luck, you never have to use them, but much better to be prepared.
Me 47 W 42 T 24 yrs M 18 yrs W living with OM BD1: 3/7/2015 (A with OM#1) BD2: 4/11/2015 (A with OM#2, W moves out) WW filed for D, papers received 9/18/2015. Meeting to determine child custody 9/29/2015.
Well my W continues to amaze me in her delusions and anger at me. She has to pick up our kids today between noon and one. I texted her at 10:30 to ask if she was awake. I got no response for an hour. I just called her as it is 11:30 to see if she was up. She gets mad at me and tells me I am controlling her and is just mad at me.
Is this normal? Should I just go as dark as possible at this point? Because she seems way hooked on OM and Im just the enemy.
Yeah it's par for the course I'm afraid. She will accuse you of being pressuring and controlling any time you question her or, frankly, any time she feels like it. Go as dark as possible because you will be the enemy for as long as the OM is in the picture.
Me:29 W:27 M: 4 years T: 5 years No children S: 7/7/15 EA: 7/7/15 BD/"I'm done": 7/15/15 MC: 7/7/15-8/21/15 (failed) PA: 8/29/15 W Files for D: 9/9/15 D will finalize in 60 days
Well my W continues to amaze me in her delusions and anger at me. She has to pick up our kids today between noon and one. I texted her at 10:30 to ask if she was awake. I got no response for an hour. I just called her as it is 11:30 to see if she was up. She gets mad at me and tells me I am controlling her and is just mad at me.
Is this normal? Should I just go as dark as possible at this point? Because she seems way hooked on OM and Im just the enemy.
I know where youre coming from. Buuuuuuuuuut. This comes off to me as questioning her capacity as a mother. Im pretty sure you wouldnt have any of it if her actions suggested to you that you cant take care of your kids...
Have to agree with Az on this one. She wasn't late yet, but you felt the need to remind her to pick up the kids. As a normal couple, this would be appreciated, or at least no big deal. But with how things currently are, it sounds like control. Next time, no reminders. Let her manage her time like a big girl. If she actually misses picking up the kids and you have to step in, then you take action to correct.
Me 47 W 42 T 24 yrs M 18 yrs W living with OM BD1: 3/7/2015 (A with OM#1) BD2: 4/11/2015 (A with OM#2, W moves out) WW filed for D, papers received 9/18/2015. Meeting to determine child custody 9/29/2015.
I never thought of it like that. I wasn't questioning her as a mom (at least not to her face) but I get how that would piss her off if she saw it that way. I do it most mornings when she has to take the kids to school. -_-
This whole sich jist blows me away. I am trying to do the right thing, but what's right seems to change minute by minute with her. because something tells me she would be pissed if I didnt wake her up tomorrow.
Thanks for the advice guys. I am trying to get it right, but it is so hard sometimes. Lol At least I am smiling still.
I never thought of it like that. I wasn't questioning her as a mom (at least not to her face) but I get how that would piss her off if she saw it that way. I do it most mornings when she has to take the kids to school. -_-
This whole sich jist blows me away. I am trying to do the right thing, but what's right seems to change minute by minute with her. because something tells me she would be pissed if I didnt wake her up tomorrow.
Thanks for the advice guys. I am trying to get it right, but it is so hard sometimes. Lol At least I am smiling still.
If you learn nothing while you are here, remember this:
Her perception is her reality
You may think you are being helpful, being a good dad, being a great husband. But if she thinks that you are being annoying, or judging her, or are actively undermining her ability to properly parent, then to HER, thats what youre doing. Your intentions and how you read the situation dont matter any more.
So, when you are dealing with a WW, theres no room for error on these, as she is always going to read you in that manner. Its not changing - you just are only looking at it from your perspective of her, not from her perspective of you.
I am trying to get it right, but it is so hard sometimes. Lol At least I am smiling still.