Maybe she is right Wonka, I am just too angry and damaged for my wife. Maybe I am not worthy of being married to. I swear, I cant do anything right, whether it's text, gmail or actual converation, or anything. I just come across WRONG and only make things worse and worse.
I am a mad bull in a china shop breaking things and relationships.
I feel that I am hopeless. Despondant and angry at the same time is an awful feeling.
Maybe she is right Wonka, I am just too angry and damaged for my wife. Maybe I am not worthy of being married to. I swear, I cant do anything right, whether it's text, gmail or actual converation, or anything. I just come across WRONG and only make things worse and worse.
I am a mad bull in a china shop breaking things and relationships.
I feel that I am hopeless. Despondant and angry at the same time is an awful feeling.
We all get these thoughts Jan, and it's hard to deal with a WAS, but I will say that if you and S were great at one stage, there is ALWAYS the possibility you can be again.. Keep in your mind that WAS have their own little thing that is going on in their head and it wouldn't matter how you put things, they will see it how they want to see it.. If it is going to happen, then it will, but it's just a matter of when..
Keep up the GAL and PMA..
Last edited by LoveMyW; 12/23/1401:12 AM.
Me:35 W:31 S6 + S9 T: 10 years M: 7 years BD: 7/2014 S: 8/2014 W has new BF: 12/2014 Still fighting the good fight!!..
We were great - for 19 years and two beautiful happy little kids came from it. Everyone said we were the greatest couple they knew. We had our bad and stressed moments,over the years, but I swear to God it was real. I know my WAW knows it. But, it's in the hands of God, there is nothing else I can do but accept this horror show reality.
To find your thread, you need to go to the Newcomers forum and scroll down the list until you locate your own thread. Then you can hit the 'reply' push button to compose your posts/responses.
I'm going to top replying here. Will do in your other thread.
Even a better way is to go to
MY STUFF (at the top) POSTS (scroll down) TOPICS Created (upper right hand part of page)
I sent your email suggestion (I modified a little bit) but overall your sugestion was very good. Here is the response I recevied from my WAW regarding Spring Break. Should I revist the Disney Trip or just let that dog lay.
WAW Wife Email to me -
I'm not frustrated with you. I understand where you're coming from. From my perspective, I think that I'm actually helping out by taking care of a full week with the kids so you don't have to take off work. But I know how hard it will be to be away from them. If it's easier, I can plan to leave on a Sunday and then come back on Friday. That gives you the buffer of the weekend on each side to make things a bit easier.
The goal is to have positive exchanges with W. I'd keep my mouth shut about the Disney trip...focus on the present moment. She may or may not change her mind about the trip.
I am going to make a suggested response here then the next time you can draft your responses here for feedback. I think you've learned about how to keep those responses short and more collaborative which will elicit a more positive reaction from W.
Suggested response:
W,
Thank you for getting back to me on this. I now can see clearly that you were trying to help out and I do appreciate your effort to make this schedule work for everyone. It'd be great if you can come back on Friday so I can spend some time with the kids as well. Your suggestion was a good one and I think this schedule is something that we both are comfortable with. Are we in agreement with this plan?
I am just too angry and damaged for my wife. Maybe I am not worthy of being married to. I swear, I cant do anything right, whether it's text, gmail or actual converation, or anything. I just come across WRONG and only make things worse and worse.
I am a mad bull in a china shop breaking things and relationships.
I feel that I am hopeless. Despondant and angry at the same time is an awful feeling.
First word, starts with a "B", ends with a U-L-L
Second word....rhymes with "zit"
NAJ....
You have to stop pushing for a "fix" here...
You are trying to fix her, instead of just being yourself and doing things, because they are right for YOU...
You are still looking towards her, for YOUR answers in life. She doesn't need or want that right now. It could change down the road, yet for now, it isn't something that can help her. Therefore, she has zero interest in it.
Slow down man...
It didn't break overnight, and it won't work out over night...
Back away a bit, work on detaching from her a bit, and find out what works for you, not the situation...
The goal is to have positive exchanges with W. I'd keep my mouth shut about the Disney trip...focus on the present moment. She may or may not change her mind about the trip.
I am going to make a suggested response here then the next time you can draft your responses here for feedback. I think you've learned about how to keep those responses short and more collaborative which will elicit a more positive reaction from W.
Suggested response:
W,
Thank you for getting back to me on this. I now can see clearly that you were trying to help out and I do appreciate your effort to make this schedule work for everyone. It'd be great if you can come back on Friday so I can spend some time with the kids as well. Your suggestion was a good one and I think this schedule is something that we both are comfortable with. Are we in agreement with this plan?
