That's good, nothing like being the white sheep in a black sheep family!
So did you hear about the blonde with a degree in psychology?
She'll blow your mind as well!!!
Surely there are more jokes out there? And more people who can choose to retrain your habits.
So this man is found laying unconscious in the middle of the Beer Aisle at the local grocery store.
If we look back at what he told the paramedics it still makes Sense..
He and his wife were shopping together. They were in the Health and Beauty Aisle His wife was purchasing some very expensive cremes and face lotions.
He asked her "Why do you spend so much money on those expensive face creams"
She replied "these are beauty cremes and yes they are expensive but you do want me to look young and Beautiful, Don't you"
They continued to shop..rapidly filling up the wagon.
Then they got to the Beer Aisle, and the man picked up two Six packs of his favorite Lager.
His wife said " Why do you drink so much beer? It gets expensive!
To which he replied " Its a lot cheaper way to make you look young and beautiful"
The rest is history!!!
W 53 H 51, S 16, S 21 33 years M 28 DD 3 Feb 11, 2014 S21 and His Fiancée move in with us 8/14 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...965#Post2477965
Technically I got sounded out by the security guard! oh dear me!
He loved Oxs redneck joke above, and said "hey you should go out after work to the insert local bars name here! "
I did say its too bloody cold and I haven't got party clothes. I will not be seen out in a work uniform it's far to trendy, not!
I suspect he's on duty there, which I would think a good thing, as previously single it was nice to have security who looked out for single ladies. In case you get a limpet attached to your leg!
They other girls both married and not were going tonight. Boy I wish I had planned ahead, ladies are better in packs and there would have been live music. Damn.
So tonight's joke How did the blonde sway the judge?
She dropped her briefs!
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Runs into thread and sets up shots of coffee for all, and for those in night mode shots of your poison.
Mother Nature decided that I don't have enough fire wood, so she provided good karma In action. Nods yeap looking after moi.
Well ok technically she dumped about 10tonne so radiator pine tree across 3 fences.
So gal should include choping it all off and fixing the horse paddocks, while the tree is in place the paddock are secure.
The forecast Is very ordinary so the hounds have installed them selves on the couch, sons dog is doing his fave gal of polishing his family jewels. Thy really do need to be removed.
The bf has his chair and wanted a blankie, I guess he's spending his weekend in bed if he sore to loud I think I'll pinch him. The other 2 decided to help me light the fire with massive arm pit rubs, it takes about 5 x as long as they constantly insert a head under each arm pit pushing me and lifting me I loose balance while squatted, once I'm down they love all over me.
So today's joke
So a husband and wife are sitting on the couch watching a tv show about psychology and mixed emotions when he turned to his wife and said
"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time "
So she turned to him and said "You have the biggest manhood of all your friends"
Wanders out casual like
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Lines up moscatos for all. I bought a bottle of wine to share with my friend, she had her plans changed. So the bottle appears to have evaporated. the bf was not allowed.
Well I flopped round and have had a nice time, the dogs went out for a grand total of one whole pit stop.
The bf ended up his head drooling onto the floor from his arm chair, I didn't need to pinch him from snoring.
I practiced eyeliner Flicky things, shopped online at Priceline for more liquid eyeliners, it's like shoes there are soooooo many pretty colours and really why not I work hard and awesomeness is very hard work with out something nice to put on the shop window! There were lots of bargains in their online store foundations and stuff more than $5 cheaper. Awesome. My purple hair colour is also cheaper.
My cc is a little anxious. S16 also sent a text wanting money, I did a 180 on him and said no! His credit is bad he owes his bank too much $, mummy bank feels good like I did the right thing.
Ok so a joke,
How do you kill a circus clown?
Go for the juggler!
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Well it's sunny and warm, which makes a change from last weeks wind.
The bf has taken to his arm chair, the others are dead on the bed. S16 dog has been marking stuff really bad due to s being away, shame he marks his own breast bone while doing it. Typical blokes aim!
Should go out and fix my tree on/in fence feature, but still feeling meh and run down. So might have to resort to loud music no moscato as I drunk it and house cleaning! The rubbish that blew around in the wind wants picking up, so I might take the wheelie bin out for a date in the paddock
Foals might be a bit calmer to go spend time with them, the wind seem to steal their brain cells. Enabled a couple of mates on fb, with makeup and my cheap shop.
So a joke, which is what we all seem to crave
A red head tells her blonde sister "I slept with a Brazilian" To which the blonde replies " omg! You sl*#€! How Manys a Brazilian?"
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Now before you all start cheering and clapping, it was the sort of performance that ends neighbourly relationships!
S16 dog sung opera style all night while tied to his kennel. He's lucky not to have woken up dead, I tell you. He doesn't bark so much ass musically yodel cross between what a cat on heat might do and a dog!
Man the desire to choke him to death with bare hands the fact I didn't mean I must have extraordinary growth and tolerance levels.
My dog, seem to have a flat. Well he's blown a claw and its all puffed up, red and swollen looking.
See te fun never ends.
So a joke
Did you hear about the cannibal who made a bunch of businessmen into chilli?
He wanted seasoned professionals! Lol
So jokes are well and truely welcome, don't be shy guys.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
