Thanks you guys for the support, it really is helpful. I don't know why I let a stupid letter mind eff me. Kept me up late last night before I could sleep. detach woman!!!! Have a great weekend everyone
Me - 42 exH - 56 Married 10.5 years Together 17 bomb dropped 1/6/14 signed papers 2/4/14 H moved out 2/22/14 D final 4/4/14 Dropped the rope 5/17/14 2 cats, 2 dogs
I had to email H about the bills due (his health insurance) and he responded that he would like to come by tomorrow and visit with the pets. I have not responded yet, was going to wait a few hours. I need to mentally prepare for this. I guess my actions should be confident, don't ask questions, smile, be friendly, let him control the conversation. I know it's not a date but I have not had any contact with him for almost 2 weeks and it was only 5 minutes then. I know it is too early in my sitch so NO EXPECTATIONS. I will re-read some of the material here to prepare. Any advice would be appreciated.
Me - 42 exH - 56 Married 10.5 years Together 17 bomb dropped 1/6/14 signed papers 2/4/14 H moved out 2/22/14 D final 4/4/14 Dropped the rope 5/17/14 2 cats, 2 dogs
Yes! Relax, be confident and have no expectations. Good luck:-)
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Well he came and visited with the animals a bit. I had put on a movie (Anchorman 2) just before he arrived and he sat and watched the whole movie. We barely spoke, then he said "I'm gonna go" and left. I had no expectations so it's ok, I'm not sad. It's just still so weird. He was cold and seemed down. Back to going dark again until the next payment is due. I am going to assume after the divorce is final and he's removed from my health insurance that I won't hear from him again. Is it considered pursuing if I email him with a happy birthday message in late April? He forgot my birthday but I don't think anyone else will know to wish him one and if he's depressed I thought it would be a nice thing to do.
Me - 42 exH - 56 Married 10.5 years Together 17 bomb dropped 1/6/14 signed papers 2/4/14 H moved out 2/22/14 D final 4/4/14 Dropped the rope 5/17/14 2 cats, 2 dogs
If you are the type of person that recognizes birthdays and other special events, then I don't see any problem w/it, but do it w/o expecting him to acknowledge your greetings. Keep the greetings very simple and brief, i.e., just as you would send a long distance friend.
Don't assume anything when it comes to your h. He may be one of those individuals that can't actually cut the apron string and continue to pop in periodically, even after you remove him from your insurance. Anything is possible w/a crisis person.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
thank you job, that was actually my plan, just to say a simple happy birthday to acknowledge it. He's doing quite the good job of cutting the strings. I consider him a "vanisher" more than a boomerang type, no contact at all until I sent him the email about the check. that's why i think once i'm not emailing him about that anymore (every 2 weeks I request one) i don't think he'll contact me. I have developed a thick skin though and not expecting anything and not really feeling that bad about it (at the moment) knowing that this will take years if anything. He didn't ask one thing about me, not one, and looked straight forward when talking while i was facing him trying to look him in the eye, don't think he noticed. That was what I expected though so I was prepared for this. oh well... it is what it is. I am counting my blessings and staying positive. You're right I should assume nothing.
Me - 42 exH - 56 Married 10.5 years Together 17 bomb dropped 1/6/14 signed papers 2/4/14 H moved out 2/22/14 D final 4/4/14 Dropped the rope 5/17/14 2 cats, 2 dogs
I think you are doing incredibly well for such a short period of time. You sound awesome! Fluff your furry people and give yourself a hug.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Yes you are doing well I agree with job a simple birthday wish is nice
The more you can continue practicing letting go the better for you
I had a lot of interactions with XH right after bomb and I think it prolonged my grief work try to take care of yourself and lots of rest and good care therapy and exercise cry when you need to time passes quickly and this time is very valuable for your transformation Peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
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Me - 42 exH - 56 Married 10.5 years Together 17 bomb dropped 1/6/14 signed papers 2/4/14 H moved out 2/22/14 D final 4/4/14 Dropped the rope 5/17/14 2 cats, 2 dogs
