For Scorp7...since your thread is locked.

[Scorp7]

I thought I'd answered that in my last post...

I took my W for granted! In the worst ways possible. She is a pleaser and for her to try to do everything to please me and for me to react as though she wasn't enough that would be horrible for her.

[Scorp7]

Uh, yeah, I guess it did. Not sure what the deal is here. If the idea is that I'm not telling everything then I guess I'm done here. Pretty sad that I seek help and then be accused of lying or withholding info. Good stuff. Very thankful for those that have helped out, it was very much appreciated.

[Scorp7]

BTW, just so I can understand, what exactly was my W going to do??? Her only real support is her parents and they live 4 hours away. Where else was she going to go??? Was she going to leave the kids behind??? As far as the charges go, she did her homework and she needed to be sure that I couldn't easily have the kids brought back. Happens all the time here.

[AKHope]

Hi Scorp-

Don't bail on this place. Trust me when I say that there are VERY few here that don't have their hearts in the right place. I include myself when I say that WE have all been down the road you are starting so we're just trying to get a complete picture with every possible detail in order to give you the benefit of our experiences.

Do with it what you will. It's just offered with the best intentions.

So it appears you are just north of me in AB.

Hopefully, this post hits the thread while it's still relevant.

Last one didn't make it befor ethe lock.

-CD

[Scorp7]

I don't think I deserved it but I do think I understand it.

Our kids are everything to my W, just as they are to me. Once she decided she couldn't be happy with me any longer she got her plan together as far as what she felt she needed to do to try to be sure she wouldn't lose the kids.

I don't agree with what she did but for her I know she would do anything to make sure she would always have the kids with her, even if it meant doing something awful to me.

[cat04]

Scorp,

I realize that you feel attacked.

What I hope you try to understand is that people are really trying to understand the entire scope of the situation.

And when we first come here, often we choose not to divulge things based on embarrassment or what not.

There really is no malicious intent on the posters part.

I do hope you continue to post...

[ericmsant2]

Scorp7

I am not trying to attack you and I’m sorry you are taking it that way. As Cat said, I am trying to gain a better understanding of you sitch, you and your W. As many people have said, it seems odd (although not impossible) that your W kidnapped the kids based on what you have written…so I keep probing to see if there is something else that was going on.

So you have admitted…..

I took my W for granted! In the worst ways possible. She is a pleaser and for her to try to do everything to please me and for me to react as though she wasn't enough that would be horrible for her.

Lord know I get this ^^^ many of us did the same thing or were married to people that were similar.

Now…taking her for “granted” could mean a lot of different things…

So to gain a better understanding I have a few more questions…

I was constantly pushing for more, never seemed to really be happy or satisfied with the life we had.

Pushing for more of what? Money, material things, sex, all of the above? What exactly were you pushing for?

I wasn't much fun to be around a lot of the time.

Did you sit and mope, did you watch porn, did you ignore her and the kids – why were you not fun to be around? What did you do that makes you say this?

she did see other women get far too friendly with me when I played shows. I didn't encourage that but I should have done more to discourage it for sure. I always assured her she was the only one for me and that the shows were just a show but it still bothered her I'm sure.

Honestly, did you flirt with the other women to feed your own insecurity? How friendly did these women get? Did she see someone make out with you? Go down on you? I am trying to figure out how bad was it? This may explain what your W may really be feeling. Did she feel used? You mention below that you were more adventurous in your sex life than you W. Did you push her to do things she didn’t want to do? Were you more concerned about you getting off than her? Once again, how bad was it? From where I sit, I could see that sex, flirt, etc. could have played a huge part is how she feels and why she did what she did.

You also mentioned that if her parent found out about your sex life that it would not have gone over well with them. To me, that is a red flag. I am not judging you, hell personally, I can be quite freaky but I am trying to understand if maybe….just maybe…your W felt used sexually. Could that be the case?

I am trying to help you scorp7…

[Scorp7]

Pushing for more of what? Money, material things, sex, all of the above? What exactly were you pushing for?

All of the above. My insecurity led me to not feeling ok with a lot of things in our life so my response was to fix things, ask for more etc. Not cool, and it's one of the things I'm still carrying around the guilt about. I had everything I could have ever wanted and more but I just didn't know how to be happy.

Did you sit and mope, did you watch porn, did you ignore her and the kids – why were you not fun to be around? What did you do that makes you say this?

At times, again, all of the above. In the last year it got worse where I let myself slip into a pretty deep depression. I isolated myself and my family from everything. We did have lots of good times in 2013 but by then the bad overshadowed the good from my W's perspective.

Honestly, did you flirt with the other women to feed your own insecurity? How friendly did these women get? Did she see someone make out with you? Go down on you? I am trying to figure out how bad was it? This may explain what your W may really be feeling. Did she feel used? You mention below that you were more adventurous in your sex life than you W. Did you push her to do things she didn’t want to do? Were you more concerned about you getting off than her? Once again, how bad was it? From where I sit, I could see that sex, flirt, etc. could have played a huge part is how she feels and why she did what she did.

I never did anything physical with those women but I did sign an occasional body part and let them talk to me longer than they should have. It was rare but it happened. I also kept a friendship with an ex that I was involved with for a long time before my W and I were together and I think that bothered her too.

I also did push her to do things sexually that she wasn't really in to or wasn't comfortable with. She would say she did them to make me feel good or to make me happy which I'm sure she really resented.

You also mentioned that if her parent found out about your sex life that it would not have gone over well with them. To me, that is a red flag. I am not judging you, hell personally, I can be quite freaky but I am trying to understand if maybe….just maybe…your W felt used sexually. Could that be the case?

I made a BIG mistake in asking my W to try a threesome with another woman. That was about 3 years or so ago. We didn't end up going through with it but I have to think that even the suggestion hurt my W. Yet another thing I feel like a giant a** about now.

I fully admit, I was a horrible H way to often in our M. We were together for 4 years before we M and I don't think I was a great boyfriend then either. Too insecure, too controlling. It's the past, I wish I could change it, I can't. I sure can learn from it though and I'd never make the same mistakes again.

[Barrybran]

We did have lots of good times in 2013 but by then the bad overshadowed the good from my W's perspective.

Is this what your wife told you or are you mindreading?

[Scorp7]

In her words "there were some good times but there were a hell of a lot of bad times.".