Thanks, I've been really, really hard on myself for the situation. I got very low for the first 2 or 3 months after my W left, dangerously so. My only thoughts at the time were that I screwed up horribly and had to do anything I could to get my W and kids back. I thought of them together and that I owed it to my kids to "fix" things with my W so that they could have their family back.
Honestly, I'm still dealing with guilt but I know I can't let it effect what I'm doing anymore.
Me-40,W-37 D7, D5, S3 Separated Oct 3/2013 T 11 YRS M 7 YRS
Other than thoughts believed and the images in your head, where is the proof of past or future?
Think about it bro
When the student its ready, the teacher will appear... Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
Also when I shift into defense, I am defending denial...
When the student its ready, the teacher will appear... Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Can you explain... what "screwed up horribbly means". What exactly did you do? Was op involved?
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Why do you think your W packed up, left a nice house, in a nice neighbor hood and took the kids 4 hours away?
Did u ever hit her?
Did you cheat on her?
Did u beat the kids?
Did you verbally insult her often?
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
I am a little confused also but not from Canada. I know in the states that if one spouse takes the kids from another - the courts can and usually will step in and unilaterally award full custody back to the spouse that could not gain access to the children. (Barring of course some sort of abuse from the spouse the children were taken from).
W-38 H-42 T-11 M-8 C-6,2,6 months BD-Oct 1 2013 DFiled-Jan 6 2014 Went Dark - April 4, 2014
Why do you think your W packed up, left a nice house, in a nice neighbor hood and took the kids 4 hours away?
Our life was incredibly stressful and I didn't help things with my attitude. I was constantly pushing for more, never seemed to really be happy or satisfied with the life we had. With the many stressful things we were dealing with (quick recap from the past 2 year, my Mom had major health problems that my W and I helped her with, we bought into a business, our son was born, we built a big house on an acreage that was a major project and didn't go well, I worked full time and played in a band, my W worked from home and cared for our kids when I was at work). WAY too much stress. We were both likely clinically depressed and although we talked a LOT, I did most of the talking and I don't think my W felt she could tell me her true feelings. She witnessed me being angry a lot, not towards her or our kids but just in general. I wasn't much fun to be around a lot of the time.
Did u ever hit her? Never, and I would never do that to any woman. I'm not a violent guy in any way.
Did you cheat on her? No, although she did see other women get far too friendly with me when I played shows. I didn't encourage that but I should have done more to discourage it for sure. I always assured her she was the only one for me and that the shows were just a show but it still bothered her I'm sure.
Did u beat the kids? Never. I don't even believe in spanking.
Did you verbally insult her often? No. The worst things I did was I once accused her of being lazy (very stupid thing to say and I apologized profusely). I also would be critical of how she did things at times. I thought I was helping or trying to fix things but I definitely didn't go about it in the right way.
We had a LOT to be happy about in our lives but I never really learned how to be happy. She tried to MAKE me happy by doing anything and everything for me but when she saw I often didn't seem to be appreciative of what she did or what we had she gave up. The last two years were definitely what pushed things over the edge.
Her parents didn't approve of me either. I was not their ideal SIL. I had long hair, played in bands, I made good money but not in a field they would really respect. I was pretty shy and insecure around them so they took that I didn't like them or didn't want them around. Also, when it came to our sex life I was pretty adventurous and my W was the total opposite. If my W told her mother about any of that (it's likely she did) then that would NOT have gone over well at all.
Me-40,W-37 D7, D5, S3 Separated Oct 3/2013 T 11 YRS M 7 YRS
