As long as you and the kids can be happy there. I understand why everyone is pushing you for certain things but I don't agree with it. Absolutely, 100% protect yourself and the kids, but I don't buy this full custody stuff. If you wife starts to come round and you can stand up for yourself, awesome! If not, revert back to what everyone is suggesting with the lawyer route.
Me: 31, W: 29 T: 4 M: 2 Kids: 3 (SS: 7, SD: 4, D: 3) Separated, still living together: Nov 2013 Separate bedrooms: Feb 2014 W working away; kids with me: Nov 2014
Thanks Barry. I don't think that one parent should ever try to take the kids away from the other unless there was abuse or some other major problem. Whatever problems my W and I have they need to be separate from our kids. They need both of us.
If my W won't be reasonable and share the kids 50/50 then I'll have no choice but to continue with my L. We'll see what tomorrow brings :-)
Me-40,W-37 D7, D5, S3 Separated Oct 3/2013 T 11 YRS M 7 YRS
I can't imagine wanting to R with my H if he stole my children like that . . . I would fight like hell without a single thought about whether it would be an impediment to R.
I still find it hard to believe that in Canada, a court would not immediately rectify this situation.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
Honestly, there are parts of the story that are still shady. Particularly the bogus charges and taking your kids so far away with out telling you.
I mean she kidnaped your kids. There is no other way to put it. And if canada is ok with kidnapping children for no reason, I never want to move there!
You really haven't explained that, but it is your business not to.
Something simply doesn't add up.
Eric, Mach, and I have all asked him this same question and no answer.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
Gabby, mel, in Canada one parent can take the kids away to another province and it is allowed. I agree, it's ridiculous. If she had taken them out of the country then she would have been charged with kidnapping. Also, since she moved in with her parents (ie a place where she had support) then it is also viewed differently. If she had shacked up with some guy she just met or was living somewhere without support then it would have made it very likely the kids would have been brought back.
As far as the charge she made against me apparently that happens all the time in my province. Many women when they decide they want out of the marriage will make a false claim against their H about feeling threatened. This gives them total control of the situation because what happens is the police will charge the H without so much as doing an investigation. At that point the W is free to do what she wants when she leaves. It's a scary situation to be sure. I wish I could say that things were better in my country when it comes to family law but unfortunately it's very grim.
Me-40,W-37 D7, D5, S3 Separated Oct 3/2013 T 11 YRS M 7 YRS
I don't know, I'm like four or five of the others here. Long time posters like myself. Something just doesn't add up TO ME.
A lot of your answers are framed:
Well, in Canada... Well, usually... Apparently...
Generalities and assumptions, IMO.
I guess my point is that this is your life and your situation.
Me? If my ex kidnapped my kids, moved them four hours away, has me arrested on false charges, and dictated when and where I got to see MY kids, I wouldn't give two rat's arses what USUALLY happens, chit would get real, really fast.
I'd fight like h*ll to clear my name unequivocally and see my kids.
But that's just me.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
I had a ton of guilt for the situation. I didn't blame my W for what happened. I should have given her at least half the blame for the situation but I didn't. I realized I had been a giant a***ole and had been for a long time. Forget the excuses for why I was the way I was. I wasn't angry at my W, I'm still not, I was angry at myself for letting things go the way they did.
Should I have fought to have my kids brought back much sooner? Yes. Easy to say now. For the first 3 or 4 months I was 99% sure that I would get a chance to work things out with my W. I felt like fighting for my kids would be hurting my W, yes, that was a stupid way to look at things, but that's where my head was at.
Nothing I can do about the past now. I have a L that is still going ahead with filing for D. I sent my message to my W last night so we'll see if we can sort things out on our own. If not, the L is still full steam ahead with things unless something changes and my W agrees to 50/50.
Me-40,W-37 D7, D5, S3 Separated Oct 3/2013 T 11 YRS M 7 YRS
I had a ton of guilt for the situation. I didn't blame my W for what happened. I should have given her at least half the blame for the situation but I didn't. I realized I had been a giant a***ole and had been for a long time. Forget the excuses for why I was the way I was. I wasn't angry at my W, I'm still not, I was angry at myself for letting things go the way they did.
We live life...and we learn... This way of talking to yourself its dangerous... Accept who you are and what you did... Its who you are and thats all, not your job to judge yourself.
Look I gained weight while M and now I am exercising.... I dont tell myself what an ass that I didnt work out, its just at that time I didnt feel like it because I was busy with other stuff...stuff that at that point was important to me...thats all...life keeps going and today I go for a 80 miles bike trip...
The things you did were strictly necessary at that point...
When the student its ready, the teacher will appear... Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
