WH - I don't think these people are capable of that thing called 'co-operation' or working together! Their way is the right way. He reminds me so much of my xh. Just out of interest, was your h a really nice man before all of this? My xh was a total sweetheart.
And AJ is right, we 'leave them' and this type of MLCer doesn't seem to like that. Never mind that they walked out on us, when we take the necessary steps to protect ourselves from their madness they do not like it.
In their mind (I have come to believe) we are still there as a punch bag. And you know, although much speculation about MLC leads nowhere, in this case I think they are still deeply emotionally attached to us. My xh can also do occasional nice and reasonable, then turn on a dime.
I think they truly have a personality disorder, and much of the time, when I am not worried about his next craziness, I feel so sorry for him. None of this turned out how he hoped.
They really do believe they know better than the judge! It is funny as well as sad and weird.
This is hard, but you are fine, and he is not.
Thanks, Bea.
As far as whether H was a sweetheart, I thought he was at the time. It felt like he couldn't say no to anyone and he had to be moving all the time. I thought he was very ambitious and had to stay busy. Truth is he had to (and still has to) keep his mind occupied so the feelings "stay away". He needs constant distractions which is why he enjoys drama.
But I never imagined he would do what he did and continues to do. Most people who know him and us were shocked when we split and how. A good friend of mine who knew H when he was younger says she never thought he would be this way.
I do agree H is emotionally attached to me. My mom can't believe how much he contacts me. Especially since he didn't want to be married to me and can't say anything good about me. And I think there is something wrong with him. Dementia runs in his family. His maternal grandfather had it and his mom has it as well. I think his maternal grandmother had it too. I have researched the symptoms of early onset dementia in men because my SIL told me that their grandfather started acting really odd when he was in his 40s and 50s. Not that it makes a difference in what I do, but it helps to understand that it is not about me.
And yes, one minute H is spewing next day he is kind and wanting my opinion on something. I often wonder if he even knows what is going on half the time? And yet again, it really doesn't matter.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
