I am titanium

[Raine]

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall;
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again.

But the King could.


Previously on Rebuilding Raine:
1st - Completely heartbroken by husband's MLC
2nd - Rinse, repeat, replay
3rd - Here we go loopty loo. Here we go loopty li.
4th - Crazy little thing called MLC
5th - Back home, for all the wrong reasons
6th - One month down, zero casualties

[SemperFi00]

Love the title Raine!

[RosaLinda]

so Ms. Raine, inquiring minds want to know.....did he shave or not this morning?

Just had to carry this over from "no casualties" -- you crack me up Raine AJ, I keep thinking I'm a crab boat fisherman on the Bering Sea. Luckily I have you and others to shout at me from the shoreline of the stagnant lake, "Quit playing with your dinghy!" Bad girl!

[Raine]

Linda, I'm not sure if he did. Last night at dinner, s#2 was rubbing his face and he said, "Daddy needs to shave again, huh." I think it may be staying off. Which is great with me if he stays off the OW too. I'd much prefer they get the patchy nastiness.

Glad you like the title Semper! I'm digging that song big time right now.

[Takevowsserious]

"Cut me down, but it's you who'll have further to fall..."

I love that song too, listened to it a lot last summer when I needed a pick me up.

There's a lot going on here already... Crabs, dinghies, lighthouses - I feel like we're on Deadliest Catch! Or maybe Wicked Tuna?

Go on with your bad self

[TSquared2]

There's a lot going on here already... Crabs, dinghies, lighthouses - I feel like we're on Deadliest Catch! Or maybe Wicked Tuna?

omg, lmao... Where is Mr. Freud when you need him?

[Raine]

Wicked tuna....lmao. That is so going to be my next thread title.

T2: ...nope, not even gonna touch that one.

[Raine]

You shoot me down, but I won't fall

I just saw the detonator, and I pressed it. And the world has changed.

I went to grab something to eat with the kids. It was near H's work. As I'm waiting in the drive through, I swear I see his car come into the parking lot and leave in my side mirror. After I get the food for the kids, I head over to the place I wanted to pick something up for me, and his car is there. I was right. And I feel panic. I don't want to go walking into somewhere he is, and have him be in there with her. I call him. He comes out from a sandwich shop, with his sandwich, and has this look on his face. Hard to describe it. This kind of cold, smirky look. I told him I had just tried to call him when I saw his car. He said he never saw the call. I told him I got scared when I saw his car and thought I should call him He said "why," and I just said I dunno. I was shaking. I asked him if he would stay with the kids while I run in and grab what I wanted. He said yes. I leave and he starts texting. There is no doubt now.

I come back and he gets in his car. He doesn't leave. Neither do I. He starts texting madly to someone. So do I...to someone else. Kelly Clarkson's "Stronger" comes on. How ironic.

Finally you can tell he is just exasperated that I won't leave. I go over and he rolls down his window. He says, "I'm here having lunch with ow1. That's why. She's still in there."

I seriously cannot remember everything I said or he said. The whole time he maintained "I'm just having lunch with her." Like that is supposed to be okay. Does he not remember that he told me this is the one he had sex with? That this is the only one he knows that I know about? That this is now the third time he has been caught with her?

Here is what I do remember saying. This may sound like I was yelling, but it was pretty calm and even toned. We were in a parking lot with me talking through the passenger window:

"Stop f'ing around with her and everyone else. You're f'ing married. Get an f'ing divorce."

I told him to get out of the house. That he needs to leave the house. He wanted to know when. I said now, today. He said he didn't have anywhere to go. I said go to ow1's place. I'm sure she has a nice place.

I told him I love him enough to let him go, and to go to her. That's who he wants to be with, then go with her already.

I told him I'm ready to move on. I'm ready to divorce.

I told him to stop lying several times. He kept saying that he was just having lunch with her, and denying anything else I said at him. I know I said something to him about her being one of many f buddies. I called her one of his f buddies. He denied all that and I told him to quit lying and asked if he wanted me to go in there and blow the whole thing up with her. He said no.

He said some things, which are fuzzy to me, and I said, "do you really want to talk about this now?" He said no, and then he said he was going to go back in and have lunch. He got out of his car and went in.

To me the decision was made. It may not be that he was going to her, but he was walking away from me and the family.

And so I waited. I had S8 move into the front seat. I didn't tell him why, or say anything about it, but this is going to send S8 spinning to have his dad move out again. At some point he is going to need closure on that.

About 20 minutes later they came out. H waved at S8, they got in the car, and went back to work.

So I know I'm not thinking straight. I can't even think straight right now to remember all I said even. It's gone.

Does he want to get caught? He likely saw my car and then he just goes to a place around the block, next to my favorite place and he has to assume that's the reason I came over this way? He could have gone way far away to go have lunch with her. Why didn't he just take off back to work with his sandwich like he was there alone, and come back and get her after I left?

Anyway. That's it. I'm all ears. H is at work and who knows when he will be coming back here.

[Takevowsserious]

Hey girl ~

At the mall currently trying to pick up my flattened PMA off the ground. Should I pick you up something from American Eagle too?

I'm so very sorry you had to see them together and that he acted like it was no big deal.

But that's what they do.

I actually believe that the more indignant they get about something, the guiltier they are.

I really don't know what to say Raine. I don't know why he goes out in public with her where he knows he could be spotted by anyone, including you.

You drew the line in the sand, so I think what you do now matters. He may think you are just angry and don't really mean what you said, don't really want him to leave.

Do you want him to really leave?

I'm behind you 100%, no matter what you decide.

I just want you to do what is best for you and not worry about him. He certainly didn't seem to be worried about you - or your kids.

But maybe reading your story swells my anger up, and I'm not the best person to listen to.

Here for you girl

[Raine]

Yeah I blew up fast with no thought behind it. I have no idea what I want. I have no idea how to react to anything he may do or say. I want both. I want to take it all back and I want him out of my life. Both at the same time.