Thank you Linda Nope, no physical touching attempts yet. Letting her drive there, as suggested by many here and IC. Son is still waiting about, the politics in DC and within agencies is at all time weird...Maybe THIS fire, he's sick of desert fires, short deploys and hates the sand-fleas and sleeping on lava rock...
My back is better, finally got in to see my chiro, all day today I didn't need any Ibuprofin (yay!), so I should be back to my usual work-outs, biking and activities by this weekend, which will help with my stress/anxiety...T2 does NOT do well with no physical activity...lol.
FY- Tonight I am doing as you suggested, available here at home but "away", doing my own things...Yesterday I had to get out of my own way because I could tell I was anxious (not all because of sitch and her change, but regular old work and life reasons mostly), and had a decent probability of not being able to hold myself. Like when I feel an strong urge to say or do something, Snodderly's "voice" appears in my brain saying "Sit quietly, the answers will come".
rH -- Ms Fabulous- :0 Yeah, the vibes clue me in, BUT, I have been wrong in the change direction before, so a bit gun shy. I hadn't thought of that regarding the jewelry box, my first impression was how they say here to "put your R, M and feelings for your spouse in a box"...maybe she did do that symbolically in RL (!) ...I wouldn't be surprised, she is that way sometimes, always has been. As I said above, letting her drive the physical, and since i can be a bit slow with subtle, and being pretty unassuming, maybe she with have to hit me on the head or something before I "get" it!
I do wish she would remember to put those notes and things away, but I have learned and trained myself to ignore/look "past" them 98% of the time. The telling her she looked good and how I delivered it SO reminded me of when I was "chasing" her before we were M, and I was saying something to her, backing away to get back to work (trying to impress her with my wit and charm I'm sure) and when I had finished talking, i turned around to go through the door, except I was off by about 5-6 ft and turned right into the wall...(oh poor ego...lol) i just stood there, looking between the wall, and the door I wanted to go through, like "Who moved that door?"... W laughed, hard, and that laugh, the first time I had heard her real, from the belly laugh, was it for me...I fell hard in love with her at that moment. I'm such a goof sometimes, lol.
uRw - Thank you, I get that any noise can be "distracting", and we don't want the feral cat getting shy and running back into the weeds... I just hope she gets there before I have moved on/forward too far.. there is an urge in me to get going with MY life. Though I live maybe 80% as if she weren't coming back, there is that remainder that is a compromise to trying, until the ending in D, or not. Hence my asking AJ to clarify his posts earlier
Off to water, back to triple digits here, good news is that my experimental heat tolerant lettuces patch is holding up. So there's something...lol
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
Yesterday I had to get out of my own way because I could tell I was anxious, and had a decent probability of not being able to hold myself.
So impressed that you are able to see that in yourself and take the steps to avoid saying or doing something you might regret.
Since i can be a bit slow with subtle, and being pretty unassuming, maybe she with have to hit me on the head or something before I "get" it!
Um, do not sell yourself short, T. You get it, you are in tune to her, you understand.
W laughed, hard, and that laugh, the first time I had heard her real, from the belly laugh, was it for me...I fell hard in love with her at that moment.
I love that story, T.
I just hope she gets there before I have moved on/forward too far.. there is an urge in me to get going with MY life. Though I live maybe 80% as if she weren't coming back, there is that remainder that is a compromise to trying, until the ending in D, or not.
I so get what you are saying here. This is such hard stuff. Here's the thing in all this. You do the best you can each day. You live your life, you grow, you change. You allow your love to try to figure herself out. Try to remember, it is best not to get ahead of yourself. I cannot tell you what may happen. But I can tell you this, you will not regret what you have done and you will know, without a single doubt, when you can do no more. Until that day, you just keep going.
T2 I screwed up and tried spooning my W last night and got rejected. I think it was like 4 am . My d recently stopped sleeping in our bed and apparently I can't sleep the night and behave
Well it was at 4 am she shrugged my arm off got up went to the bathroom . When she came back she asked me to move over. So I did and rolled over and let the sitch rest. This morning she was quiet but she just finishing her "friend" and she off the map sometimes with it. This afternoon she back to being civil. So hard living under same roof just as friends or roommates . I get to excited when she stops acting childish. She definitely has been more friendly then usual last 2 weeks and stop hiding phone like teenager . Guess she not ready for me to touch her at all
That doesn't sound like too bad a reaction, at least she didn't go ballistic or anything... How can you NOT repeat what you did for now? Was it really unconscious/half-asleep, or did you know what you were trying for? Honestly...?
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
Well, I had a post going, but my computer decided it needed to close all my windows and reboot since I applied updates earlier today, and the postpone reboot function got tired of me postponing...rather insistent bAstard.
Not up for re-typing, so I will try again later or tomorrow...lots of stuff to do...hope everyone is having a great weekend!!
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
Well T2 it was 4 am and from what I remember it started out as a sleeping thing and I remember waking up and realizing what I was doing. She didn't go ballistic but withdrew a little. Yeah I can keep my hands to myself til the cows come home. She still blames her emotional swings on me. I don't know how u do it bro. I have good days and very bad days
T2, your story about falling hard in love with your W after that laughing together when you walked into the wall was so touching. So sweet! I fell in love with my H thru a laugh too. We worked together when we were in school. A bunch of us went out for hot dogs at lunch, and I threw away my roll because I was on some crazy diet. His eyes bugged out so much, then he and I started laughing and my heart melted. I thought he fell in love with me the day his old VW bug got stuck at the drive thru at McDonalds. I didn't know how to drve a stick, so I pushed while he popped the clutch. He was impressed Hopefully some day our spouses will remember those happy days. Or maybe we'll get the chance to make new happy days.�
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
T2 since the spooning incident I have noticed my W has put my D to bed in our bedroom since. Now I feel like a heel. It is amazingly hard to let them come to you. My W is stubborn on top of everything
Nope, no physical touching attempts yet. Letting her drive there, as suggested by many here and IC. Son is still waiting about, the politics in DC and within agencies is at all time weird...Maybe THIS fire, he's sick of desert fires, short deploys and hates the sand-fleas and sleeping on lava rock...