A Feral Cat, Puzzling 2

[RosaLinda]

What great posts, T^2, you really lifted my spirits! I am so glad to hear you had a nice weekend with your sons, and that your W seems relaxed and happy. And I'm glad that her older friend who deals with the fallout D has on kids has her re-thinking things a bit.

Did she say why she wanted to read her old emails and list of things you feel that you have in common? Maybe wanting to check her current feelings against her former ones? Or something she wants to understand about herself before she starts with an IC?

Either way, I'm sure it is all due to your new happy attitude and the support you have shown her. It must be nice for her to be able to feel that you love her unconditionally. You are an inspiration to us all!

[Raine]

Happy to see where you are at T! That's so great to be in a place where you're going to feel happy no matter what happens. It sounds like W is leaning much more towards working on the marriage, which would be brilliant. I guess it's always a roller coaster right now, and sounds like you're prepared for anything. Thanks for being such an amazing inspiration for me.

[TSquared2]

Thanks folks!

Linda--She hasn't said why, so I can only speculate...maybe to see proof that she was happy and loved me before all this started, so maybe possible to feel that way again? That we do have lots in common, and complimentary differences (ie, I like to cook, she doesn't, me logical, her emotional, etc) and so a future R is more possible than she believed it to be?? I am sitting quietly, I trust the answers will come...

Raine--It is kinda a strange feeling being where I am, prepared and basically okay with whatever happens. Though I do still hope for R, and will do the work needed. All I can say is I am not complaining, the feeling is better than the devastation/worry/stress I had before in this journey.

I don't have too much exciting to post about me...I am in a "low-key", quiet mode...just doing my projects, thinking, spending time with kids, pondering, gardening, meditating, just whatever I feel like doing and what needs doing...and not worried about it at all.

Maybe this is a "vacation" or "recovery" of sorts...idk. But it is mine and my choice, just don't feel a need for "big stuff/projects/plans" right now...lol.

Let's see, W:
-put the new soap she bought that I said I really liked from the upstairs ("her") bathroom into "my" bathroom, a nice little surprise.
-communicated with me her change in work plans and such at the time they happened via text...this is new (again).
-sought me out a few times.
-still has the "softening" about her voice I mentioned before.
-is self-reporting (and at least when I am home I can back up) that she is avoiding getting on the computer except for mostly "work" things like looking for jobs, her EFT tapping videos, and some comedy on hulu.

Just reporting/journaling...

[RosaLinda]

I'm glad you and your W are in a time of calmness and serenity. You must be doing something right!

[SemperFi00]

Good news T^2 - glad to hear that you are in a good spot.

Stay strong!

[reachingHigher]

Just wanted you to know I'm always reading your posts, whether on this thread or not.

You are in a much more stable frame of mind than I am. My and my H's moods are fluctuating wildly now, although someone on the outside would never be able to tell. I don't really know why. Working some things out? I rarely get any clues from him.

I admire your steadfastness and wish I was the same. Maybe if I keep reading your posts some of that will wear off on me!

Always have you tucked in the corner of my mind,
rH

[TSquared2]

Thank you Linda, SF and rH,

I still have my short mood swings, but overall I am good, just in a "quiet" phase right now I guess. W is definitely working something out, very withdrawn and seems depressed again. I give her space and be neutral to upbeat in my interactions with her, regardless of what she throws my way. But she has been more "low energy" as Cadet might say, and the vibes in the house were more peaceful, but she is processing, so that might change again.

The kids always help me be my best "me"...

My oldest deployed to fight wildland fires yesterday, not sure where he is yet, but he will let me know when he can...probably SoCal. It always saddens me some when he goes, miss him. It affects W too, so I keep that in mind.

I have come too far to quit yet, gotta see how this plays out, but I have my moments of wanting to toss it in like we all do I suppose. My L said to try to wait it out, from what I described and his experience, she may be on the tail end of the worst part...but idk, just rolling with it...


T^2

[TSquared2]

And my IC seems to think the same as my L, just be more patient a little while longer...gee, now where have I heard that before...

T^2

[reachingHigher]

Good T^2, I remember the first lady L I saw said "give him 6 months. I've seen this before" and she was right.

Your kids are awesome I'm sure. I know what you mean about missing the oldest one as S19 is away for the summer and it seems so empty without him. But now S13 gets his two parents to himself for the summer

I have to also remind myself not to quit now! We've come too far!

Has EFT helped your W you think?

[TSquared2]

I think EFT is helping her, comparing to how she was before she started...it helped me too back a year or 2 ago.

Yes, the house is a bit quieter, something missing with S1 gone, and we all worry some as he does have a dangerous job, but he loves it with a passion, living his dream, so I am profoundly happy for him. What more could an honest man ask for his son?

It is funny, when a L, an IC and very experienced mlc forum vets all concur...guess I better listen and stay chill...lol.