Hmmmm, funny but true. Women sometimes just want our men to listen to us complain (validate?) and not to try to fix everything. Even when the nail is snagging all of our sweaters
I don't think men like us to try to fix them either though. Thanks Kaffe!
Hijack away all...we are all in this together, and besides...it's not MY database... lol!
So, I had myself a very satisfying weekend, doing my stuff...garden, bike repair, etc...can't complain.
As for W, I just don't know, sometimes here, sometimes not...not worrying about it too much...just a little
I touch base with her letting her know I'm available, then back off...
She did something nice for me, I had mentioned a LONG time ago about needing some new/old bike shorts in a smaller size than my current pair (yay me! 32-inch waist achieved)...out of the blue she bought them at a thrift store, and a real quality brand...I was surprised she remembered and thought of it, and she was concerned that they hadn't been washed yet for Monday's commute (guess she doesn't want me in public in baggy bike shorts?? lol). Of course I thanked her excitedly, but didn't go into how surprised I was and all, don't want to stir up any guilt (she seemed more her usual self that day).
But she seems to have withdrawn/depressed again, very thoughtful it appears, so back to "T, aloof, yet available" in my dim dance cycle. There are other things she is processing that I know about like her friends situation, work changes, getting hired on from volunteer, etc...yet I reckon our sitch and what is she going to do, what/how can she come to terms with whatever decision she makes, etc., is in her mind. So just sitting quietly...
Found out there are some good, tactical reasons to wait a bit before filing for D....and L (informal chat, not a "real" consultation) has seen a lot of this MLC stuff (he does executive Ds and this sort of thing is rather common) and said to definitely try to wait it out some more from his experience....soooo, there ya go.
KD, that vid is hilarious!!!!!! I spewed my coffee a bit and burst out with a laugh and now my co-workers are looking at me weirdly...
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
So glad to hear that your W actually remembered that you needed some new bike shorts, T^2, and then located and bought some for you. A real step in the right direction, don't cha think, in many ways? My H seems withdrawn and depressed also, but it's a relief after his weekend of lashing out. Last night when I said good night he stepped 2 or 3 steps back from me and had a sort of wild eyed look, as if he was afraid I might touch him. So I decided to keep strictly away this morning, but got a "good morning" and one of those dead one-armed hugs from him. Improvement!
"It's not about the nail" is going to be my new motto
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
I was a nice, very nice surprise. I enjoy it for that, and that she thought of me.
I am not reading too much into it right now, I used to do that with every little "sign"...guess I learned that that sets me up for expectations, and I need to keep my PMA, so really trying to leave it in God's hands...the vets say you WILL know when it's a real reconnect, and things change for the better. So we will see... T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
LindaM, I like the idea of making it a motto...... I am certain that every time I think about trying to "fix" something for my W, it will come to mind.....
May be hard to not have a quick smile or grin when that happens.... Gotta work on being able to not let that show.
KD, if you have a minute and could take a quick skim of my story I would greatly appreciate it. labug has been commenting and suggested that you may have additional insight...
T^2, apologies for the hijack!
Me-48,W-51 M-22,T-24 S- 18,16,9 Feb-Jul '11 Away from Home, after initial B date Aug-Dec '11 Back at Home on couch Dec '11-now Same bedroom, room mates only Dec '14 W files initial D paperwork
lol!