Sunny 1) What is your goal of the conversation? 2) Are you having the conversation, so that you can try to manipulate, persuade, control or guilt her? 3) Are you skimping on your ability to make a choice and putting the pressure on her to make on? 4) Does this conversation align with YOUR goals (note – not HERS – YOURS!) 5) Deep down inside are you afraid of the answer you will receive? 6) Do you really need an answer from her? 7) Is the conversation worthwhile – will it add to your stress or reduce it? Sunny – we cannot control or change someone. We can only control and change ourselves. Life is short buddy….try and spend it happy. God Bless, Eric
Didn't mean to ignore you eric but in my church your spouse has to cheat or leave - I can't do it so I had to sit and wait now that she has had an affair I can part.
If someone decides there is no goodness in you they won't be able to see it. I'll take a BLT over a MLC anyday !!!
i also established boundaries - I told her that if she wants to date and have sex she has to leave the house. And I told her her family can not stay in the house for the cousins wedding
If someone decides there is no goodness in you they won't be able to see it. I'll take a BLT over a MLC anyday !!!
Keep to your boundaries and do not waiver. If you do, she will know that you are bluffing.
Hang in there!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
She told me she will date and f$ck anyone she wants she said boundries what am i a child she has no problem sleeping around and stsying here what do i do. We had words last night I didn't do so well lost all the D B ing I did since Oct in one night questioned about the kit cell phone check books she told me that since we were living here we May as well be comfortable. She left her phone open with the messages right there that talked about the affair and berated me for looking at them I told her ur my wife I have a right to oh big mistake she is seeing her lawyer tomorrow texted the guy over 300 times in a week and over 60 phone calls she tells me she did it because she was lonely like I'm not pfffft
If someone decides there is no goodness in you they won't be able to see it. I'll take a BLT over a MLC anyday !!!
Sunny, I know you are spinning from what she's said and done, but you need to put your foot on the floor and stop spinning. She's baiting you so that you'll do or say something that she can use against you. She's hoping you'll get so angry and leave...don't do it.
If she's staying in the house, there's nothing you can do, but ensure that you and your son are okay. There's nothing you can do about her being there. However, you do not need to be footing her spending sprees, etc.
Contact your lawyer asap and see what your options are and do not discuss them with her.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I am seeing lawyer but she is like you can't keep me locked up so do I back pedal now and let her go out ??? She said if I can't go out u can't either so do I stay and watch my son and let her run Wish I hadn't said I saw the messages what a mess I created should have come here first but can't go back now
If someone decides there is no goodness in you they won't be able to see it. I'll take a BLT over a MLC anyday !!!
You don't have any control over your wife and if she wants to go out, she's going to do it. Step back and cease trying to tell her what to do because it's only going to make things worse. You only have control over you and your son.
Let her go, but document everything because you may need that documentation down the road.
However, I would not back down about the inlaws...they should still stay in a hotel.
If you need to go out, get a babysitter and do not rely on her.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Make a list of the questions you need answers to for Friday. Well, if she thinks she's in love w/the man, there's nothing you can do but let her go and sit on the curb w/a bag of popcorn and watch the parade go by. I'm so sorry that things are going badly for you. On another note, if they get enough of each other, the affair may just die a natural death for them.
Hang in there. I know it's scary and you are disgusted, but take it one day at a time.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
