I Have 90 Days To Save My Marriage

[roughenough]

So what happens at the 90 day mark?

[NASCARDaddy]

That is when the court will consider the divorce petition.

[NASCARDaddy]

And because, under the advice of council, I have decided not to contest the divorce that is when the court will finalize the divorce.

[sayitaintso]

Even if the divorce becomes final what does that really mean as far as you improving yourself, db-ing, and GAL'ing?

Will you stop all that at that point?

Did you consider yourself married solely because you had a marriage certificate?

The reality of it is that even if you are legally divorced you will not be emotionally divorced and you can continue to db as long as you want.

You decide when your marriage is over, not a set of court papers.

[NASCARDaddy]

No I will not stop once the divorce is final. I am just worried that it will become that much harder once the divorce is final to work things out.

[roughenough]

Nascar-

I just composed this message however it looks like sayitaintso touched on one of the subjects,

Are you saying that after 90 days the D will be final? If so, I would like to mention a couple things. First, you don’t have any control over the timeline. Well maybe, that’s if you contest it however it sounds like you made the right decision. So the timeline “is what it is”. So you should view it as one of those things you DON’T have control over. Do you get what I am saying? I am guessing you weren’t born yesterday you know the old cliché term, focus on the things YOU have control over.

Going back to the posts of mine and others on your thread. I would focus on yourself, avoid R talks with W. I think you’re getting the drift on the right things to do. Every sitch is different however just because you have a “deadline”???? So what! It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t stick to the DB basics, IMO. Who knows, you never know if W might start to come around in the final hour. To be brutally honest I don’t want to get your hopes up however I genuinely feel it’s more likely to happen if you chill out, leave her alone, let her process everything and stick to the basics.

[Cadet]

I do have one question that is related to board operations and not to my situation.

Is there any way that I can set it up to receive e-mail notification when there are new posts in threads that I am following?

OK I have been researching this question as I do not use this function but it DOES work.

I have just tested it and got my first e-mail from DB.

Let me see if I can explain it.

There are quite a few steps to set it all up.

1) At the top of your topic it says - New Reply - and then another box that says topic options.

There is a drop down menu and one of the choices is to "Add topic to your Watched Topics" - select that.

Then go to "MY STUFF" and click on "WATCH LISTS"
Then another page comes up and you must click on "Watched Topics"
and then "Edit Watched Topics"

Then you will get a choice of
E-Mail Notification
None
Immediately

Select Immediately
Then at the bottom hit
UPDATE WATCHED TOPICS.

That should set it up correctly,
it is working for me. Good Luck!

[tonibertha]

Thanks, Cadet!

[NASCARDaddy]

Thanks Cadet!

[NASCARDaddy]

Today W asked me to sign a waiver that would waive the 90 day waiting period on our divorce. What should I do?