I have been doing my 180's for almost two months and nearly a day doesn't pass that my W brings up the past or that this is just an act on my part. I don't argue with her or convince her otherwise and simply keep doing what I am doing.
Is is frustrating? You bet. But I like the changes I have made for myself and even if W does leave I will be a much better SIW than I was previously.
W has flat out said that she is waiting at least six months of my 180's before she beleives that I am for real. Question is will I be patient enough to keep doing what I am doing without W making a step in the same direction?
Right now I say yes because I am not doing for her or to manipulate her to say. I just keep doing things one day at a time.
Are the changes your making for you or the convince your W to stay in the M?
So if you have never heard that saying and do not understand what it means, I'll use myself as an example...
I say that I am forgetful, because it serves me. I can blame my memory for not doing something that I probably did not want to do. When the truth is, when I do want to do something, I am very capable of ensuring I both remember... but arrive on time...
Saying that we told you not to get a mediator serves you...
So how about this, then...
Go get a mediator... I think it would be very helpful for you...
Sad what kind of 180s are you doing that the wife notices that isn't doormat behavior?
Helping more with the kids getting them ready for school, taking/picking up S10 to hockey, picking up D6 from day are, cooking more of the weekday meals, doing more around the house, listening to my W about the finances, doing more with the kids w/out W. I am also listening more intently to my W without adding my two cents.
