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Joined: Jun 2008
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The issue with the child support doesn't make sense. Once you enter money into the equation there's going to be much more stress. IMHO.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 322
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Not filing makes it seem like we're together, though, which we aren't. And it needs to be filed if I am to get public assistance, which I honestly will need to be able to survive on my own until I'm on my feet.


M & H 25
T 9
D 7
S 4
Bomb 11/11 Confused about feelings for me.
Bomb 12/11 ILYBNILWY, moved out
2-1-12 We're exclusive & dating each other.
3-4-12 H moved back in.
3-31-12 I deserve better. I'm done
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 322
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Posts: 322
We're filing ourselves, so there won't be court involved. He'll be giving me money directly, which is what he's been doing since he left.


M & H 25
T 9
D 7
S 4
Bomb 11/11 Confused about feelings for me.
Bomb 12/11 ILYBNILWY, moved out
2-1-12 We're exclusive & dating each other.
3-4-12 H moved back in.
3-31-12 I deserve better. I'm done
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 322
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Posts: 322
So, I'm feeling like we should start counseling soon. If he cares about the future of our R, he should agree, right? He said last week he wouldn't be against it. But we're only dating right now. I still feel compelled to have us start ASAP.


M & H 25
T 9
D 7
S 4
Bomb 11/11 Confused about feelings for me.
Bomb 12/11 ILYBNILWY, moved out
2-1-12 We're exclusive & dating each other.
3-4-12 H moved back in.
3-31-12 I deserve better. I'm done
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 322
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Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 322
I have many friends making me feel like a total idiot for deciding to date him frown That he hasn't changed enough and the fact that we aren't official but we are exclusive is his way of controlling me.


M & H 25
T 9
D 7
S 4
Bomb 11/11 Confused about feelings for me.
Bomb 12/11 ILYBNILWY, moved out
2-1-12 We're exclusive & dating each other.
3-4-12 H moved back in.
3-31-12 I deserve better. I'm done
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,119
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Friends and family can often give the worst M advise. If you play this out and don't betray the boundaries you have set you will be okay.

Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 322
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Posts: 322
I'm not sure what the boundaries should be for piecing.


M & H 25
T 9
D 7
S 4
Bomb 11/11 Confused about feelings for me.
Bomb 12/11 ILYBNILWY, moved out
2-1-12 We're exclusive & dating each other.
3-4-12 H moved back in.
3-31-12 I deserve better. I'm done
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
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Posts: 12,602
The counseling is a must. Right now he's relying on his emotional high. Once that wears off, he's going to leave again because he hasn't LEARNED anything about why he feels the way he does. With awareness comes stability. The C should be a dealbreaker for you.

Right now you're in the driver's seat. Get him to agree to it or else you're gone. Ask nicely, but firmly.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 322
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Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 322
I'll ask him today.

I'm scared that I'm truly done frown I don't feel happy about this dating deal. I started feeling iffy last night, and it's only gotten worse. I've grown so much that I see that I deserve better than what he has to offer me right now. I still don't trust him.


M & H 25
T 9
D 7
S 4
Bomb 11/11 Confused about feelings for me.
Bomb 12/11 ILYBNILWY, moved out
2-1-12 We're exclusive & dating each other.
3-4-12 H moved back in.
3-31-12 I deserve better. I'm done
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 345
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Posts: 345
Originally Posted By: Jenna333
I've grown so much that I see that I deserve better than what he has to offer me right now.


This thought has crossed my mind a few times. I feel like we're doing so much to look deep inside ourselves, better ourselves, and think about what WE want. And if/when the WAS/WAW "comes out of it" and decides to re-commit to the R, they will likely go back to their "old" selves. They didn't go through the "enlightening" process that we're going through. I feel like in the end we end up at different levels and have 2 choices: accept who they are and only apply our new things in the R, or we will have these "new" ideas of what we want from a R, but they may not agree or be willing to make the changes that they need to make (let's face it - they aren't perfect and need some learning, too). I guess I'm getting ahead of myself and will have to face it when time comes. Need to focus on TODAY.


Me:32 H:34 T:14.5 M:9.5 S:5 BD: 11/25/11


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