I need you to drill this 'NO CAKE' idea into my head!!
I'm so impressed that you are getting him to take notice... and it makes me want to do it too
Way to go Jenna!!!
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
Do it, Pur! What do you have to lose, ya know? Spark his curiosity and in the process, cultivate your strength.
M & H 25 T 9 D 7 S 4 Bomb 11/11 Confused about feelings for me. Bomb 12/11 ILYBNILWY, moved out 2-1-12 We're exclusive & dating each other. 3-4-12 H moved back in. 3-31-12 I deserve better. I'm done
It's coming up on 2 weeks since we last ML. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in...
It's very difficult! I'm relieved that the new boundaries make it hard for that opportunity to even arise. Before it was too easy, with him coming into the house and lingering.
It's a physical ache that I feel for him I want to kiss and hold him. I know he feels the same way about me. I hope not letting him eat his cake anymore will cause him to snap out of it even further. The last time we really talked (yesterday morning when he came to get the kids), he brought up our amazing chemistry and said we didn't tap into it as much as we should have while we were together. He's realizing more and more how different things would be simply because of MY changes. He just has to make his own now. I'm still living my life as though he's not coming back.
M & H 25 T 9 D 7 S 4 Bomb 11/11 Confused about feelings for me. Bomb 12/11 ILYBNILWY, moved out 2-1-12 We're exclusive & dating each other. 3-4-12 H moved back in. 3-31-12 I deserve better. I'm done
It's coming up on 2 weeks since we last ML. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in...
It's very difficult! I'm relieved that the new boundaries make it hard for that opportunity to even arise. Before it was too easy, with him coming into the house and lingering.
It's a physical ache that I feel for him I want to kiss and hold him. I know he feels the same way about me. I hope not letting him eat his cake anymore will cause him to snap out of it even further. The last time we really talked (yesterday morning when he came to get the kids), he brought up our amazing chemistry and said we didn't tap into it as much as we should have while we were together. He's realizing more and more how different things would be simply because of MY changes. He just has to make his own now. I'm still living my life as though he's not coming back.
I'm so ... proud of you if I can say that about a stranger. You're doing fantastic! And that chemistry is not going *anywhere*!! This distance you're creating is feeding that chemistry and making it even more pronounced. It's just what the DR ordered. Good for you chiquita!!!
I stayed upstairs while he dropped off S after dropping off D at school about a half hour ago. We talked, but I stayed out of sight (I'm in my pajamas a look a mess!). He wanted me to come down and talk, but I said no. We chatted about the kids and school. Man, we even have a blast just chatting about math homework. He mentioned what he made the kids for dinner and I let it slip that I miss his cooking. He said, "I'd be happy to cook for you sometime." He brought up my changes and said that I'm turning out to be so amazing. He also brought me donuts. We used to have fun picking out donuts for each other as a treat sometimes.
It's so much to take in, you know? I have to let these conversations roll off my back.
He'll be back to pick up S in a couple of hours, after class. I need to shower and get started on homework and studying.
M & H 25 T 9 D 7 S 4 Bomb 11/11 Confused about feelings for me. Bomb 12/11 ILYBNILWY, moved out 2-1-12 We're exclusive & dating each other. 3-4-12 H moved back in. 3-31-12 I deserve better. I'm done
I can only imagine the temptation you're facing...it would.be so easy to slip back into ML with him...but I'm super proud that you are sticking to your boundaries!! You know.that it will have the greatest impact in the long run.
I would give anything to hear my H say that he misses me- he!!, id even settle.for.him wanting to fool around.with me at this.point!! I'm with you on the physical ache....even a kiss right now.I think could.send me.over the.edge!
(Please excuse all the typos- I'm on my kindle :/)
You are.doing an amazing.job keeping.your head focused and.not.crossing those boundaries!!!!
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
The temptation is very hard to resist! But I remember very well how I feel after giving into it, and I'd rather take the ache and face that we may never be together again than to feel that way again. I know I'm worth more than that. Even if he isn't consciously realizing it, he's using me and we're manipulating each other. When it happens it doesn't feel like I'm taking steps backwards, it feels like I'm ting off running in the wrong direction. I will NOT make that mistake again. It feels right, but it isn't. Doing what feels natural does NOT work.
It really sounded like a date invite, the way he worded cooking for me, didn't it? If we decided to try again I would absolutely want us to start off as dating. How fun and exciting! Getting to know each other all over again. BUT, at this point, it would not be exclusive and I know that, and there's no way I could date him if we weren't exclusive and working on rebuilding our R. So, his words can't affect me anymore. Not if they aren't backed by true growth on his end.
M & H 25 T 9 D 7 S 4 Bomb 11/11 Confused about feelings for me. Bomb 12/11 ILYBNILWY, moved out 2-1-12 We're exclusive & dating each other. 3-4-12 H moved back in. 3-31-12 I deserve better. I'm done
And Pur, he has to have the opportunity to miss you first. I was so very against 'H' not being around as much, but once he saw that he wasn't welcome to come and go as he pleased, he started realizing what he was really throwing away by leaving me.
M & H 25 T 9 D 7 S 4 Bomb 11/11 Confused about feelings for me. Bomb 12/11 ILYBNILWY, moved out 2-1-12 We're exclusive & dating each other. 3-4-12 H moved back in. 3-31-12 I deserve better. I'm done
Well, I did it. Followed your lead.... He is no longer going to eat cake at my house.
It didn't come about the way I had hoped (read tonight's post for the nasty details), but I made it clear that he has to consider himself a guest in this house because he's made it clear that he doesn't want *this* life.... he actually said he was "fine with that." No emotion, no negotiating.
I don't have any expectations that this will cause some kind of reflection in him, he appears to be getting exactly what he wants.... this suxx!
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
I want to kiss and hold him. I know he feels the same way about me. I hope not letting him eat his cake anymore will cause him to snap out of it even further. The last time we really talked (yesterday morning when he came to get the kids), he brought up our amazing chemistry and said we didn't tap into it as much as we should have while we were together. He's realizing more and more how different things would be simply because of MY changes. He just has to make his own now. I'm still living my life as though he's not coming back.