He just left with the kids. We exchanged in the driveway, so he didn't come inside at all. He stared at me the whole time and commented on how gorgeous I am, lol.
He was over a half hour late getting here. He said his alarm didn't go off. I made it clear to him that he needs to get here on time. He has seats for the kids, at least.
Ugh. I'm choked up right now. I wish I could hang out with him and the kids I miss our family time so much. We've talked so much the past couple of days and I've seen him quite a bit, so it's hard to go back to only seeing him a few minutes each day. That's all it'll be now that he doesn't come into the house anymore and it's not like it's warm outside so we can stand around and chat. We shouldn't be anyway, I know. I just miss him so much, and I know he feels the same way about me.
I still have 2 hours before lunch with my BFF.
M & H 25 T 9 D 7 S 4 Bomb 11/11 Confused about feelings for me. Bomb 12/11 ILYBNILWY, moved out 2-1-12 We're exclusive & dating each other. 3-4-12 H moved back in. 3-31-12 I deserve better. I'm done
Ugh, I am emotional. Convince me that I should not suggest we all go to the kid museum together tomorrow! They were going to go today, but are going tomorrow instead. At this point there is no way my suggesting we spend time together would be seen as pursuing in a negative way to him. He'd be thrilled. Convince me as to WHY we need space.
I never know when it's going to hit me like this.
M & H 25 T 9 D 7 S 4 Bomb 11/11 Confused about feelings for me. Bomb 12/11 ILYBNILWY, moved out 2-1-12 We're exclusive & dating each other. 3-4-12 H moved back in. 3-31-12 I deserve better. I'm done
"The more time that passes by, the more he starts taking responsibility for his choices and actions."
Unless he actually seeks help or tries to figure out how to set things right rather than running away he is not taking responsibility. Taking responsibility is taking action.
"He took my wrist and sniffed it and said I smell amazing (lemon essential oil)."
I agree with Mr Bond Jenna. You just need to fine tune this a little bit and you will be better off. I think with a kick in the a$$ he will grow up. He sounds like what he is, a young guy needing to grow up.
Kind of weird.
IMHO, I would suggest to him that you deserve much more and that you totally agree with the breakup and that he does have alot to grow. And that you are not going to wait for him since he has shown no sign of actually doing so. Try being a little less 'nice' and throw in some attitude.
The thing is that you want him to want to do the work to make things better. But regardless of that, you keep getting yourself strong.
I agree with Mr Bond Jenna. You just need to fine tune this a little bit and you will be better off. I think with a kick in the a$$ he will grow up. He sounds like what he is, a young guy needing to grow up.
Ugh, I am emotional. Convince me that I should not suggest we all go to the kid museum together tomorrow! They were going to go today, but are going tomorrow instead. At this point there is no way my suggesting we spend time together would be seen as pursuing in a negative way to him. He'd be thrilled. Convince me as to WHY we need space.
I never know when it's going to hit me like this.
I'm not sure you need space if you are in the type of realtionship you want (duh), but what I mean is, if he's going to be wildly in love with you but want to have a few hookups because he never lived that world before, then you can't let that happen. If he's going to "f" around then he can't have you and son. You may not agree but I'd hate to see you sell yourself short.
We both needed a kick in the ass to change. Hopefully he'll change and want to come back to our family, but it not, at least he'll be a better father to the kids. We both need to work on our parenting. We aren't bad parents by any means, but there could definitely be improvements made.
I had a nice time at lunch with my BFF Then I bought myself a pretty top for only $10 and got a few things at the grocery store. I now need a size S in tops, so I'm building up my wardrobe little by little.
Kids will be home in an hour.
I need to remember to have PATIENCE. The seeds of change have been planted. Now they need time to grow. Maybe a lot more time than I'm anticipating. I did not expect to change this dramatically in only 7 weeks. He may need a lot longer.
M & H 25 T 9 D 7 S 4 Bomb 11/11 Confused about feelings for me. Bomb 12/11 ILYBNILWY, moved out 2-1-12 We're exclusive & dating each other. 3-4-12 H moved back in. 3-31-12 I deserve better. I'm done
Rick, I understand what you're saying. I'm done selling myself short. I told him flat out that I deserve more than that and that he has to want ALL of me. He said he does. He said its hard because he doesn't want the 'old' me, but the 'new' me is what he hoped I'd turn into our whole relationship. He's in the process of letting go of the old me.
M & H 25 T 9 D 7 S 4 Bomb 11/11 Confused about feelings for me. Bomb 12/11 ILYBNILWY, moved out 2-1-12 We're exclusive & dating each other. 3-4-12 H moved back in. 3-31-12 I deserve better. I'm done
I feel like I'm going through withdrawal This is why I can't hang out with him and talk to him. I feel so sad and miss him so much in the days afterward when we go back to not seeing/talking to each other much. I want to call him and talk to him so much, but I won't.
M & H 25 T 9 D 7 S 4 Bomb 11/11 Confused about feelings for me. Bomb 12/11 ILYBNILWY, moved out 2-1-12 We're exclusive & dating each other. 3-4-12 H moved back in. 3-31-12 I deserve better. I'm done
Jenna - you are right, the seeds are planted and loving patience is what helps them grow. Check out on YouTube "Lessons of the Chinese Bamboo" I sent to my W and it really helped her. You really are doing great. !!!!!!!!!!
Trust me I used to impulsively check these boards every hour it seemed. So I know how you feel. This place sometimes it's the last sanctuary we get.
The point I'm trying to make is to stop thinking about the sitch so much. Become strong enough you can focus on other things like school, friends, and your son.
I can tell this is eating you away. Not good if you're starting school.
I miss our family time so much. We've talked so much the past couple of days and I've seen him quite a bit, so it's hard to go back to only seeing him a few minutes each day. That's all it'll be now that he doesn't come into the house anymore and it's not like it's warm outside so we can stand around and chat. We shouldn't be anyway, I know. I just miss him so much, and I know he feels the same way about me.
Then I bought myself a pretty top for only $10 and got a few things at the grocery store. I now need a size S in tops, so I'm building up my wardrobe little by little.