oys2 I was feeling down last night and just imagening going to court as if it is a slaughter house? And your post are very insightful and helpful. Thanks again
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Talked to a good friend on my 2 hr commute home and felt pretty good and understood. When I got home W was cooking dinner, burritos and D was making brownies. There goes the LBS diet
W sounded sick sneezing all over the place. We sat to eat and she could not control her runny nose. I looked at her and she looks disheveled. Frail , this is her 3rd cold since the sitch. She never got sick before. I really feel bad for her. But in the past I would have recommended many remedies she would have gotten annoyed and me pissed. Today I had no urge to say anything just feel bad for her.
While watching the news they played clip about commentators talking about a huge emotional explotio nif Newt became the nominee. Steve Colbert came on and in the German said FUBAR. Really funny and I laughed pretty hard. I don't think W appreciated it.Time for MW3
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
I feel for you - I really do. I don't have much to offer at this time except for - don't lose hope and keep being patient, but try no to have too many expectations right now. You are being kind to your wife and giving her space and that is what she needs.
And in the meantime, you continue going about your life and enjoying your time with your D.
BTW, you sound like a great cook. I am so jealous of your wife! My H never cooked anything except pasta (with jar sauce) and Ramen... But then again, I didn't really cook that often either. But I can say I can definitely follow a recipe and make a killer Jambalaya. I have also won two guacamole tasting contests at two different companies. (being Hispanic, winning was more a relief for me than anything else, haha!)
OK, that was my attempt to cheer you up - I know you have been down. Hang in there!
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
W tells me that tonight she and D are going to a horse show award and won't be home for dinner. She than tells me that her brother is having surgery sometime next week. They found a malignant tumor in his colon. I told her I was sorry. He is 51 single and no kids. I knew something was wrong as her aunt has called her numerous time lats week. That is unusual
I may need a 2x4 but could not help myself. She tells me about the horse thing 1st and than drops the BIL thing. I was confused and laughed but caught myself. I hope 2012 is not like 2011. Can't have another year like that, no freaking way.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
My interaction with W today is something for me to remember. First after the BIL news I started to feel guilty and was thinking that playing video games or flying my models would be wrong. This is what happened to me in June when I heard about D failing 4 classes and W's plans for the week. To compete in a horse show the next day.
So I don't know how to define this but I know that this is the stuff that used enrage me. So my conflict is resolved. I will GAL. Video games flying models and. even a little bike ridding is in order. Oh man
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
W and D left for the horse ceremony thing around quarter to six. Was feeling really rejected and questionned why I want to save this. Thirty minutes later they came home. D changed her mind and wants to eat with me? W went alone.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
I am glad that you have some "reserve" GAL activities lined up. That way, when you are down or dejected (like earlier today), you have something to take your mind away from it rather quickly.
The good news is that you didn't need them today. So enjoy this "bonus" time with D!
As for your W, who knows... (and hopefully you can get to a point of serious detachment where you can also say: and who cares?)
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
