Thanks Toon. I think that my W would respond in much the same way that you describe of yourself here if I over played my hand. I'm just trying to balance it out a little better than I did back in March. Give her the space that she says that she needs, keep showing her that my changes are real and permanent, and keep enforcing the boundaries that I set a few weeks ago.
Thanks again!
Denver
This, Denver! This is what I am looking for from my husband. I think this is what your W is looking for from you, also.
I also wanted to say that my sitch mirrors yours, too, in that my H was "completely done" with me at one point in mid to late February. He wrote me this final-I'm-done email that wished me well in life with a washing-his-hands-of-me tone. At that point, I let go of him. I said some of the things that you said to your W. "I do want this M, but I'm no longer willing to accept..." and I truly began to feel single. Not dating-wise, but just no longer as tied to him or even slightly invested in us as a couple. Then, two weeks later, he did a complete 180. I think it really hit him that I might move on. He flipped out. There were the constant texts, the calls, the pursuing. The lashing out. And then, he just got really nice. And bought a cafe where I work so that he could be even more tied to me. And honestly, he hasn't been this consistent and this normal in a long time. So, four months later and I'm almost, slightly beginning to gain the slightest bit of hope.
I think the same thing happened to your W when you found OM on the toilet.
Thanks TG. I think so too. It's good to hear that I may be on the right track.
Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Besides, who knows what these guys think is ugly...
George Carlin did a skit once about it not mattering as long as you were naked...even if you were 80 and hand to roll them up and hold them in place with a clothes pin...
(I think I will cover my eyes, thank you)
So if that says anything about men...
Loved the poem Starsky...
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
