Saw things clearer once you're in my rearviewmiror

[MichelleLT]

Sorry to hear about your accident. Take care of yourself!

I had a horse dislocate my shoulder about 6 years ago (just in case you were wondering, when you get stuck between a metal fence and 1200 lbs of horse something just has to give) but luckily it went right back in by itself. I remember hearing it pop out and then back in and thinking, oh $h!t, this is gonna hurt when the adrenaline wears off. Did I go riding the next weekend? Of course. We're just a couple of gluttons for punishment I guess lol.

As for OM, there will be karma. It always takes longer than we would like, but there is always karma.

Hang in there. Get the D done and just worry about you and DD. (((IR)))

[OldFool]

I agree with MLT. Call it Karma or what have you, but the chickens always come home to roost (so you'd best duck when you hear the flapping of wings). That having been said, the process often takes years...so don't expect to "see it now". While you may not care if she learns her lesson in 5 years, a lesson learned is just that, no matter when it happens.

Well, I suppose we're all partly to blame for the circumstances we're in. While there are some exceptions, it is generally true that "it takes two to tango" and in most cases all parties are contributory to one degree or another. However, to say you alone are the cause is probably an overstatement (and perhaps a gross one at that).

The problem with going back and trying to figure out who's responsible (you, her, the OP) is that you don't have enough information and, even if you did, in many cases the whole thing is relative. Sure, some cases are obvious, but most aren't. For example, if your spouse complains s/he had to leave because you weren't meeting his/her emotional needs, does that mean you're too cold or does that mean s/he's too needy?

What if you're not capable of delivering what's demanded? If you have a plumber and demand s/he fix your computer, when s/he can't is it the fault of the plumber for not knowing about computers or is it your fault for expecting a plumber to be able to fix one. Very tough, indeed.

My life is OK. I've grown accustomed to my changed circumstances and, being a creature of habit, have formed new ones that offer some comfort in their consistency. I have no plans for anyone else. I was essentially a confirmed bachelor before my M and have effectively returned to that.

That's not to say I didn't snoop around for a bit. However, in my age range, women are either still single (for a reason!), want someone to fund the lifestyle to which they would like to become accustomed, want a step-dad for their children, desperately want children, or are bitter and angry and lash out at the nearest male upon the slightest provocation.

None of these are appealing for a number of obvious reasons so I have little interest in dating and little use for women.

[EverHopeful]

Romeo,

Sorry about your accident and speedy recovery. Old Fool provided some excellent insight for you. There is always KARMA, as one tends to reap what they have sown. Thing is, you may not be around to see it play out so you just have to learn to accept that for now. Doing so will help you have a better quality of life. I am wishing you well.

Now for a slight hijack for a note to Old Fool ...I have to admit that

LOL and YIKES. OUCHIE with the broadly painted brush stroke, you haven't met me yet and I am different. (smile).

I tend to feel the same things that you have mentioned about men my age but I am hopeful that there is one out there who is different and "fits just right". LOL.

I hope that someone who is a wonderful, fun spirited, humorous, straightforward, charming, independent yet vulnerable, secure, HOT, and HAPPY woman comes your way and knocks your socks off with WOW FACTOR. LOL and hugs ...

Have a wonderful day !
Ever

[EverHopeful]

.. I have to admit that I tend to feel that same things that you mentioned about my my age ...

Sorry, using an ipad and they have a mind of their own sometimes... HUGS

[ImprovedRomeo]

Hey guys, thanks for all the support and suggestions. You guys are as always great friends (((hugs)))

Michelle, so sorry to hear about your shoulder too...do you feel any pain from it now (like during cold weather etc)?

I'm healing well and this weekend took the m/c out for a nice long cruise because the weather was gorgeous. I opened it up to blow away the cobwebs and it felt GREAT!!! You feel so powerful, like no one can touch you, literally lol On the way back I saw this pretty little thing riding a cruiser by herself. I pulled up next to her and talked for a bit. Unfortunately the light turned green too soon lol But as we parted ways she told me to look her up on a motorcycle website for this area. Sure enough, I found her and wow, she's very cute. That's usually not the case if I stereotype about the girls that ride m/cs - kudos to me and my 6th sense in picking the hottest girls to talk to even when they're behind a helmet

OF, I hear you on the karma/lesson learned part but you know, they'll chalk it up to some circumstance or such BS later on, they'll never link the two together. If it happens now at least they'll see why it didn't have to be this way. But I'm movin' on, the OM can have her now...after I've already had her since her 20s- I win lol

Now as for snooping around OF, I hear you on that one too. I just recently started to snoop around myself. However, if one were to judge a book by the cover I can say there're some nice covers out there lol. Unfortunately there are two *main* categories as you mentioned already; women that are single (never married) and it makes you wonder why and then women that have kids but not married (never married or divorced). I guess I belong to the latter category myself so I'm mostly interested in them since at least there's that commonality.

As for interest in dating, honestly, it feels like such a chore to have to gather up the courage, act cool, approach a woman, play games...and then...they turn you down still. Then you pick up your deflated self and try yet again and again until one finally lets you in and then you end up settling for someone you may not have wanted. It's such crap lol So I don't feel like dating or at least going through that process myself. Unfortunately though I can't be man enough to say I don't have use for women lol women are wonderful creatures and I still believe if you're that lucky person to find one that was meant for you life can be so satisfying.

On that note I'll agree with EverHopeful and hope that the HOT and Happy woman comes your way and knocks your socks off too. Or at least offer to takes your shoes off - KIDDING!

[ImprovedRomeo]

I'm having a tough time accepting this d*ck in my daughter's life. Today we were outside playing, she bent down to pick up something and I bumped her on my butt. She laughed and said 'daddy, that's what D*ck does to me sometimes, he's so funny'...gaaaah!!!!

Then she told me again how he's been sleeping over...what's wrong with this woman?!!!

Today I had court, the never ending saga because she won't budge on ANYTHING even an inch- neither will I. While today is almost over, I feel like it's too much. I'm just having a hard time with this d*ck around D6...it hurts more than anything else so far.

[MichelleLT]

To answer your first question, yeah it bugs me sometimes. Mostly during the winter. One reason I like living someplace it doesn't snow often.

As for the latest, she's not thinking and unfortunately there's not a lot you can do about it. She's an adult, however irresponsible, and gets to make her own mistakes. It sounds like he actually does well with D6, so that's definitely preferable to the alternative.

[kat727]

I am sorry to hear that your stbx is displaying bad judgement. However, I hope at this point you know that you can only control you and your action/reactions. She will have to deal with you dating as well at some point. I would think she would be none too happy at that point.

Thinking of you. Hugs, kat

[ImprovedRomeo]

It sounds like he actually does well with D6, so that's definitely preferable to the alternative.

Of course, he does so he can get in stbx's pants.

She will have to deal with you dating as well at some point. I would think she would be none too happy at that point.

I'm not upset about her screwing these men, I'm upset about her bringing these men around our daughter who's only six! I'm over the part that she's out there screwing around. And when I date, why should she be unhappy? she's the one that kicked me to the curb. And I will be dating a woman not a guy, IMHO there's a big difference. Typical worst case scenario a woman can be mean to a kid. Typical worst case scenario of a man and given her choices...I don't even want to think about it. The only redeeming factor is perhaps that he too has a daughter from what I understand. Two, she lives in a studio apt. So my daughter sees and hears everything, whatever it is that goes on. What kind of role model does that create for my daughter to see her mother in bed with other men. This whole thing friggn' blows.

I know you guys are right I can only control myself but since it affects my daughter I'm very upset.

[ImprovedRomeo]

BTW, thanks for the responses and hugs guys! I appreciate the feedback. I do realize I don't have much of a choice other than saying something which may not really do anything other than giving her further satisfaction that it's getting to me.

(((hugs back)))