M: Oh I don’t know. I still might have some stuff to say that I have not said
W: You want to give me the cliff version?
M: No cause then I would get the cliff answer
W: Oh so it’s a question
M: No more of a statement
W: and you don’t want to make it?
M: No not at this time. You are tired and I have kept you on the phone long enough.
W: Ok H we will talk again have a good night
This part of the convo seems very positive to me....seems like she is looking for you to say something to her...and I don't think she's trying to provoke something negative that she can turn back on you. Stay patient and positive 2step...become the saint.
BITS M: 35 W: 35 T14, M11 D9, S6 ILYBINILY: June 09 Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11 W came home: 3/17/11 EE: July 2012 Dropped the rope: Oct 2012 Piecing: April 2013 Not piecing: April 2014 Stuck.
This convo was sad to me because I felt she had a lot of weight and was really feeling the separation. Almost some regret I would dare guess. I am not mind reading but I do know my W and sometimes she is having a good day and sometimes not so good. Yesterday was not a good day.
Lis:
From your mouth to Gods ears. You have said that since the beginning.
9:
I agree with this sentiment very much. Nothing I can do for her at this point. Sad really.
Denver:
I expected to talk about taxes for about 5 min and then hang up. I did not expect the convo to turn into R but as it does sometimes it did. And yes most of the time she talks about it.
Country:\
The comment about the restaurant was actually not a stand alone comment it was part of the overall convo. I have to edit the post or no one would read it. It was not intented as pressure at all she did not take it as such.
Navy:
Glad to see you are still visiting the boards. I know you must be busy patching things up in your own R so I appreciate you taking the time. As far as what you pointed out I have to agree with you. That part of the convo seemed very positive to me also.
Well, it wasn't a horrible convo, and it wasn't all sunshine either.
Good to see that she's realizing the single life isn't all she hoped for lol.
Originally Posted By: 2step
H: I am good. Hey did you file already?
W: Yeah I filed. Those are the papers you signed remember.
H: I mean the taxes.
W: Oh LOL. No I have not filed the taxes yet.
Great job on not taking the bait and getting into a heavy R convo here!!!
Great job on listening to her advice and thanking her and all. That's good stuff.
There's a lot of good in this. Look below the surface and keep focused on the positives.
Michelle are you back from training yet? I agree this convo was actually very positive for me, now I have been here long enough that one day can be like a year when it comes to emotions so I don't expect much today. Although she has texted me a few times already today.
Getting her input is important to me, it always has been but now I let her know that I am listening to her which is a big difference.
I am back for the moment. My wonderful new CO decided to throw me on another exercise without asking me. So I leave Saturday for two weeks. Be back April 17th. Not sure what kind of facilities there will be (i.e. no clue if I'll have internet), not even actually sure where I'll be except somewhere in Florida.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
I need your CO's number Michelle because you leaving for 2 weeks is unsat!! What am I suppose to do without you for 2 weeks. Well check in if you can ok.
So I am driving to work tomorrow morning and I get the following text
W: Hi...I have to pay in to the IRS since M filing separate is the highest tax bracket and I have no deductions...I'm so upset
M: I am sooo sorry W. How much do u have to pay?
W: And I am sorry but this makes me a little angry with you....But whatever it is I don't have it
M: Would you like to have &^%$ look at the taxes? You know we are filing for last yr we could file M and split it right down the middle if that is ok with you. I would hate to for you to take an IRS hit. He won't charge you
W: I'll think about it
A few minutes later
W: No offense but I don't have complete trust in u when it comes to taxes
Anyone who has been aroud for awhile will understand that last comment.
No response from me about ten min later
W: Now u would hate for me to take an IRS hit?
M: Everything can be checked by you if you don't like the way it looks you can change it. I understand if you feel uncomfortable though it's just an option
W: I will think about it
The day passes and about 6PM I get the phone call I have been waiting for all day
W: Hey I have to pay over $300 bucks
M: Man that [censored]. Well my offer stands I am already paying the accountant to do my taxes adding you will not cost any more money. You can check everything before we submit and if you don't like it then back out and have your accountant do the taxes
W: yeah but it's freaking BS H. Why should I trust you to begin with regarding taxes? You got us in the damn mess to begin with. I don't have that money. NO! I would rather borrow the money and pay it myself I don't trust you with the taxes. I can do it myself. I just don't get why I gotta pay in.
M: Ok not really sure why the loyalty to your accountant
W: Why the loyalty?? Because she is not going to screw me because she was doing my taxes before you during you and after you. She is not going to screw me like you did. SHe is going to take care of me. That was your job but you were too damn selfish to do it. You always wanted to weezel your way out of paying the taxes. Always looking for a break. Why couldn't you just do it the honest way like everyone else. No doing your finance company always looking for a deductions. You wanted to not pay taxes that is why we always owed money.
M: I am just saying that accountant left us owing every year. The new guy we used last year was good. Buddy and his wife always get money back
W: That's your freaking problem. Always worried about what this person is doing and what that person is saying. if you brother told you to jump off a bridge you would do it no questions asked. If your Bro, your Sis your Mom Your buddy anyone but your W. You listen to everyone but your W. Because I was soooo stupid. I did not know what I was talking about. I never knew what I was talking about. It is not fair. I was a good W. I was good to you. I was good to your D. I was good to your mother. I was good to your family. I was good to your nephews. All I ever wanted was 5 minutes of your time and that was too much for you. And what did I get in return my F^%$#@ life is crap right now. You were too busy being prideful when your business was going down to go out and get a job. I had to work 50hrs a week to keep us afloat. The only reason you are at the job you are now is because I had to bluff you by threating to leave in order for you to get off your a$$ if not you would still be holding on to that business. Worried about yourself and only you. Not me and not your family. Sorry Jody prob warned you about this I get off on one thing and it leads to a bunch of other things.
I was quiet this whole time
W: and your silence tells me I am right. You know I am right.
M: I agree I made you feel that way W. I am sorry about that. I can't go back and change any of it. I made mistakes along the way but I have learned from those mistakes. Everything I have ever done has been for you and for D and I understand how you felt like you do. I know the IRS was a big problem but that is why I took the debt off of you and put it on me. I was my debt so I took it
W: It was your debt and you took it because it was the right thing to do. I should never have been put in that position. But no stupid W keeping her mouth shut when I knew it was wrong. My biggest problem is I was too scared of confrontation. WAS being the key word in that statement.
M: Well nothing I can do about that now. In hindsight yes I should prob had left the company sooner. Sorry I did not. I took the debt because it was right for me to. I learned my lessons on that stuff. W hates me and I owe 15K
W: I don't freaking hate you
M: well that is good so i guess I still owe the IRS 15K.
W: I am in such and such place and my sister just pulled up I gotta go
M: Ok. Well the offer stands if you like please let me know
W: I will think about it
Convo was about 30 minutes and I think I covered it all. Overall I am not upset or depressed just her lashing out. I will give her till Friday to decide about the taxes. In reality it works in both our favors to do it this way.
