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Denver

Some very good progress.

I don't want to be the wet blanket but i also don't want you to get blind sided.

She is coming back to you little by little.

That is evident.

She still may have some things to sort through.

Letting go of the old you for one and then OM to sort out.

I think it is very important to be patient and not push things.

You are winning the war so just be cool.

This is very exciting for you and as each step along the way has been something new for YOU.

This will be too.

Remember the new man you have become.

That man doesn't need to tell his W how her life will be if she is with him...

He knows it.

And shows it.


My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
Truegritter #2138115 03/09/11 01:09 PM
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sorry for the hijack...

Hey True smile



"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
cat04 #2138148 03/09/11 03:32 PM
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Sounds like things are swinging your way! I have read most all of your posts, and I know how hard you have worked at this. Looks like it is starting to pay dividends. I am trying to follow your example and look at your story as an inspiration and a source of hope that my own similar situation might have a positive result also. Thanks for sharing and continued good luck!

James

Busting Mode #2138176 03/09/11 04:51 PM
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Originally Posted By: Busting Mode
Denver,

Just wanted to acknowledge you for being so loving and supportive with your wife, and for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us here.

Your thread gives me hope, and holds a higher standard.

Well done.


Busting and Patience - Thank you guys very much for the continued support. I hope that my thread IS providing hope for you guys and anyone else following it. I sometimes feel a little 'survivors guilt' when posting my positive progress here. At the same time, I know that when I was at my lowest point back in Nov and Dec, the positive stories were sometimes all that kept me going.

I also want to apologize for not following your threads. Obviously my sitch has kept me really busy lately, but I still feel badly that I haven't been able to reciprocate the support for you guys and a few others. My hope is to find some time to catch up with everyone and help out where I can. I owe this board soooo much!

Thanks again.

BITS
Denver


M 43
X 38
T 13
W moves out of home 11/2010
Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012
I request divorce 5/2012
W moves home 6/2012
Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015
I leave 3/2016
process of divorce
Lotus #2138180 03/09/11 04:55 PM
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Originally Posted By: Lotus
That sounds nice. And a 2 year commitment! Sounds very good. I guess she is thinking of a family therapist to include SS. I still think the Retrouvaille weekend is what you need to push not just OM, but the idea of other men out of her heart, and move back into a committed relationship. Slow and steady is good, but there's nothing like a high intensity push to get people motivated.


Lotus - I am still considering Retrouvaille in addition to MC here in Denver. Actually, what I am thinking is Retrouvaille, Solution Based MC for W and I, and then a separate family child therapist for SS, W and I. My IC worked with SS for a while before W and I separated. So we'll probably continue on with him. My concern is being able to afford all of this therapy! LOL smile I will figure it out though.

BITS
Denver


M 43
X 38
T 13
W moves out of home 11/2010
Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012
I request divorce 5/2012
W moves home 6/2012
Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015
I leave 3/2016
process of divorce
Denver_2010 #2138184 03/09/11 05:06 PM
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You sharing your positive progress is much appreciated Denver. It certainly gives me hope during the times that I'm not so sure there is any. Please continue to do what you've been doing. I wish you and everyone else on these boards all the happiness in the world.


Me:45 ExW:48
M:04/97
3 Bombs & 2 ReCons
1st BD 11/10
D Finalized 4/20
D-16 S-14
Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
27YearsandOut #2138335 03/09/11 09:24 PM
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Originally Posted By: 27YearsandOut
Sounds like things are swinging your way! I have read most all of your posts, and I know how hard you have worked at this. Looks like it is starting to pay dividends. I am trying to follow your example and look at your story as an inspiration and a source of hope that my own similar situation might have a positive result also. Thanks for sharing and continued good luck!
James


Thanks James. I wish you all the best and for your M to reconcile. It is hard, but so far, I have found it to be very rewarding.

BITS
Denver


M 43
X 38
T 13
W moves out of home 11/2010
Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012
I request divorce 5/2012
W moves home 6/2012
Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015
I leave 3/2016
process of divorce
Denver_2010 #2138362 03/09/11 09:58 PM
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Denver,
Words cannot express how happy I am for you. It truly sounds like you are making the progress you always hope for and worked so hard to find. I am bursting with pride for you right now. You are truly the DBing expert of all times!!!

Please continue to focus on your skills. Don't let a backslide occur now at this juncture. Man, I just can't tell you how happy I am for you. We started this site together and at least one of us is starting to see some dividends. Please continue to focus, OK? Please? You are doing well and you just might be the first BITS to successfully fix your M for the long term.

BITS never walk alone!!!

FOBD


Me: 39
W: 36
T: 15 yrs
M: 9 yrs
S: 09/10

So you can get on with your search, baby
And I can get on with mine
And maybe someday we will find,
That it wasn't really wasted time...
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Everyone needs an example to aspire too Denver, don't feel guilty, feel inspired. Helll I posted here for a long while to remind myself of where I came from and what not to do.

So inspire others, until they realize they should be their own hero.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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You're doing great, Denver, be proud of that. We do need inspiration, hope that there are R's that can make it for the long haul. Keep doing what you're doing!


Me - 38, 2nd M, no living children, 1 forever 6 yr old boy
H - 44, 3rd M, twins 16

Dating 4/07
M 10/08
Bomb #1 12/10
Bomb #2 1/11
Bomb #3 12/11
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