In the process

[newmama]

Got back from my date with Country Boy. First, YUMMM!Hubba Hubba!
Second, he IS cheap. Huge red flag for me. But he paid for the date and left $4 on 25 tab so not too cheap I guess. But here are some tidbits:

-called me 5 minutes before 7 to let me know he was going to be late. That was good! He was working and time slipped by. No problemo for me.

-He arrived in shorts and a sweatshirt. WTF? I was wearing my usual: jeans and a cute blouse, but was definitely more dressed up than him. He said that he dresses the way that he is...he always wears shorts because it gets hot driving his truck.

-We talked 4 hours and he barely asked about me. The conversation wasn't about HIM per se but if there was a lull, I picked it up OR he started talking about something he did.

-He was a school board member and thinks the union is evil and that teachers are paid good enough. I don't disagree (except about the union). But when I asked him about his reasoning, he said that it had to do with all of the vacation time we get. He also seemed to think plenty of teachers just show up and leave early. What??? I told him how I loved my job but it is extremely difficult and that most of the teachers in my building are working long hours and tried to explain the demands we have.

-He seems to work, run, and spend time with his kids. He sounds like a devoted dad! I wondered if he had any time for dating. He has dated 2 other women since his divorce and both were teachers.

-I don't know what common interests we share. Honestly!

I really wanted to curl up with him on the couch or in bed.

So...if he asks me out again, I think I might go so I can make out with him at least, and then he may realize we dont have much in common...oh other than both of our spouses cheated on us. Except that his wife might have wanted to reconcile but he couldn't do it. It was hard to tell...he said they went to counseling but she was still with the guy and I could tell he was very guarded about the whole thing. The one time he shut up, so to speak, so I didn't pry! I UNDERSTAND.

Who knows if he liked me!

[Mystik]

Hmm, those are some big red flags. I'd tread carefully with this one.

[newmama]

I don't know if I would really go out with him again. I was just kind of kidding around (sort of) about the physical aspect...I mean I am attracted to him but don't think I should have anything physical if there isn't anything else we have in common. Bummer!

[Mystik]

A lot of it depends on what you are looking for this time around. Just some fun and male attention? Or are you thinking more long-term seriousness?

[newmama]

I have no clue what I am looking for, to be honest. I think maybe just an open ended possibility. Meaning someone that potentially could become a long term serious partner. But I don't want to move fast!

It is tough being a human being because we can say that we don't need romantic companionship but it is in our nature. We are wired for it. So what I am saying is that people on here might say to me "just GAL and focus on your S" all they want. BUt I have been doing that for at least 15 months and the damn drive to have companionship is still there. Can't deny it.

On the other end, my friends and family have wanted me to start dating since S was 6 months old!

[sandycay]

NM~ it's tough out there isnt' it. Especially when one has been married. I always wonder how much contact is appropriate, especially if they are contacting you.

[Mrs. A]

Hi NM,

Nothing to add except good for you for going out with the new guys and being discerning but still remaining open - that's huge! And it's a really nice way to be with other people.

Good for you!

Sincerely,
Mrs. A

[newmama]

Well I got something in the mail from the court...a copy of verification of the money xh is paying me. I opened it while he was there. He dropped off S and then did some yard work. He was trying to make conversation (still wants to be friends of course) and I half heartedly replied. He was trying to tell me things like "have you noticed the weird looking babies at the daycare? I have been meaning to tell you! And did you know the director is back? SHe is totally better at running the place." I just said things like "yeah, there are a couple of goofy kids" (as I was packing up the car to go) and "no, I didn't realize she was back."

I don't have to talk to him; we are not anything other than having a business relationship where we share our S. Totally bizarre.

But S and I left for our outing while he was in the middle of the yardwork! ha!

He mentioned again about the damn yard and how the grass can be planted in the spring. BUt I said "if it ever happens."

Oh --but before then--
when I got the mail, I opened the letter and never told him what it was (I was tossing stuff in the recycling so I just opened it there). He saw the neon yellow paper inside and said "I got one of those too" So I asked "what's it for?" and he said something about the final notice. It doesn't look like that to me.

Hey at least I was wearing jeans, my push up bra and black low cut v-neck clingy shirt! My hair and make up looked great because I was going somewhere. I looked pretty good, damn it. (Yesterday I didn't.)

sorry for this being all out of sequence. Just getting it out!

[fb2]

Country Boy: It's not clear to me that his flags were necessarily red. Let's say he'd arrived on time, all suited and booted (cowboy boots of course) in a Cadillac, held door open for you, took you to the best restaurant in town, called you honey and sweetie, etc. What color would the flags be then? They'd probably be the right color for the little old lady from Pasadena.

I knew this guy (let's call him Dutch Boy) who'd take you to the restaurant of your choice, spend lavishly and as long as you don't ask to have sex with him ahead of time he always went Dutch. And the girls were drooling all over him and getting in line.

Fact is these guys have probably gotten burned a few times too. And apparently a lot of women get turned on by the "badas*" kind of guy. You are giving yourself a break tho', taking it in good spirt and having some fun which is good.

Don't understand why the cheating H comes to mow the lawn though? Is he trying to DB or something?

[newmama]

fb2- I guess the red flags for me personally was that he was cheap, he didn't bother to dress nice to meet me for the first time, and his political beliefs were opposite mine...

but the cheating EXh is not DBing. He agreed to take care of the yard work.

No word from city guy on email since the 14th! I am tempted to email him a "how's it going?" email. Yet he has replied in the past...usually within a couple of days. This guy was one who winked at me initially, so he was pursuing at first.

It's just that it really ticks me off when the men do not follow up even if they aren't interested anymore! And I never met City Guy.At least I have let the men I have dated know that I was or wasn't interested. What cowards to not just say it. How much easier can you get- via email with no face to face interaction!

And even though I am not interested in anything with Country Guy; same thing. No rejection. Just no follow up? grow up, already!