Ooooh no, this man is not all about logic at this moment. I see now the inner struggle. Logic verses silky soft blonde hair, green eyes, laughter, soft touch.... So, YOU think it's okay for me to continue the seduction? I get advice from others saying not to do it. The squirrel factor~ Help!
Don't pursue - lure. Attraction that he can't withstand. He's a dog, show him a bone and see if he come's barking. Dogs are stupid when it comes to bones and easy to train once they know what's in store for them. Be a cat and hunt him down.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
But if there is a next time and H initiates (he playfully swatted my rear end this morning), and I decline, what do I say? H seems to be softening some- or it's an act. H said this morning he's trying not to be sad about the leg sep. Testing me isn't he..........
Thanks for the help, I sure need it.
Hang in~
Wow. All I know is this, if you play hard to get = Him wanting you more. Tease him, do what Coach says, leave him so wanting you that he does something stupid to get you. Enjoy every freaking minute of it too.
LOL I can't tell a Woman what to say right now, but I can tell you what would work on me and probably 90% of the guys out there. Do your thing Girl. Make him want you. Maybe, you have plans...
You need Sandi2 and Greek in on this post right now lol
Been lurking here a couple of days. So much good advice, and all around good thoughts. I read DB, what's NMMNG? H left 7/9, today is our 25th anniversary, we have one S 21,left me with all the bills to pay,and house to take care of. I told him I didn't want the house, too much upkeep, and I could do better in an apartment. I didn't tell him that angrily either, just stated the fact, he thought all along I would change my mind. I think he will be somewhat taken aback when he goes to the house and it's all different. I moved Saturday, and it has been better in some ways. New place, he hasn't ever been here, doesn't know where I am etc. Felt right, and still does. Anywho...he calls me about once a week, 3-5 minutes is all, very impersonal. He called last week to tell me he had been to a lawyer was proceeding with that. I mistakenly asked if it was too soon...He did call again on Saturday to see how the move went, but was not really interested I felt. He was also visiting his Mom, once a month trip, and that's the only time he calls on weekends, or evenings. He called from there last visit also, maybe he thinks o f me there, since it's a trip we have made together many times. Or not? Otherwise it's during work.
I like the squirrel analogy also, but I have never been a patient person. I am re-learning so many things! I guess I'm just rambling here. OW, since 5/09, although he denied until about 3 weeks ago, then it was like he couldn't tell enough people that he had her! He did ask S if he wanted to meet her, S was shocked, since H had told him we were having problems with our M. S is almost 22, but says H led him to believe that we would get back together. Oh, the dishonesty! I think that bothers me more than anything. That and him proudly telling all he has a girlfriend, not sure what that means? He is very proud of himself obviously, I say he should wait till the D is final before being too proud. OW is also M, but has in the last week or so separated also. She has a 9 year old D.
When he left, he wouldn't tell me where he was, like I was going to chase him down...LOL. I have since found out that he is living within a mile of OW. And I still haven't chased him down, and won't, too degrading. He told me he needs my address for D, I called post office, they will forward certified letter once, that's all I need. Don't think he needs to know where I am living. He was upset about that. He is still angry at times when he talks to me, like when he doesn't get his way. I have seen him 3 times since he left, and the phone calls were pretty much daily when he left, then have decreased. I think I may be wasting my time, and have really set my mind to making my own plans for the future. I only signed a 6 month lease, and will see where my life is at that time. Want to reconcile? Yes, think it's possible, some times, hope, not much H is very stubborn!
Just sharing, it's all still pretty crazy, but from what I have read, this is going to go on for a very long time. Good thing I have lots of supportive friends, and a very faithful dog and cat:) Thanks for reading, and any suggestions would be helpful and well taken! _________________________
Me; 52 H; 54 M 25 S 22 Bomb drop 6/14/2010 S 7/9/10 H filed 9/7
So what would work on 90% of the men out there? lol
Thanks for the advice!!
Take care~
Confidence in yourself that you have what you know he wants!
You're hot and you know it! Come across in a way your not pursuing rather just doing what you are going to do from now on to show value in yourself and what someone else is going to have if he doesn't get his head out of his ass.
I don't know what else to say on this. LOL. I'm sure someone out there will add more.
First, sorry you are here. You will find a strong support group here. There are some very helpful pros on this site. Seek out Coach, sandi2, Greek, pinhead.
It sounds like your H is having a mid life crisis. Please read the forums explaining how to deal with that.
It sounds like you have taken steps to heal. Keep doing those things and place yourself first. Protect yourself emotionally as well as in every other way.
Please let me know how you are doing and try to get support from the others I mentioned- they have been on these boards for quite awhile and their advice is amazing.
I didn't do any of the "cat" things last night....
H put our wedding picture away this morning. The picture was on top of his armoire. I looked for picture, found it on a shelf in his office closet.
I am taking that as a big sign H isn't entertaining any thoughts of dropping leg sep.
I am bummed out today.
Thanks~
Take care
Hi Susan,
Last night I had a breakdown, but thanks to CD Bear I'm ok today.
I understand how that would bum you out.
Just keep moving forward though, chances are he's just trying to pull away from how he feels for you and also could be a test to see if you react. It's very important that you use the other night as momentum for YOU. Just work your magic and let him come to you, don't act like the other night made a difference in you either way.
In fact get fancied up and go out for awhile, maybe to a movie alone or with a friend and let him see this. Be nice if he asks, but be vague, mysterious. Cat's going out for a walk. Meow
